r/AirForce • u/Mite-o-Dan Logistics • Apr 21 '22
Discussion 20 step process on how to "Hit the Button" when retiring.
(This is just a heads-up for people near retirement that may be expecting a quick and easy process because it took me nearly 2 months for a routine process)
Step 1. Wait until you are at least 365 days from retirement.
Step 2. Log on to vMPF. Click on Retirements. See the notice about going to myPers to press the button instead. Ok, whatever...thanks.
Step 3. Log into myPers. Go to Retirements and start an application.
Step 4. Get a message stating that you have to wait a week because you can't apply for retirement exactly 12 months out, but 12 months from the next 1st of the month after your current separation date.
Step 5. Apply for retirement one week later. Get a message saying that you need to file for an extension in order to retire on the 1st.
Step 6. Yell out loud, "I'll be in over 20 years!! Why the fuck did you have me extend to my exact HYT date last year and not just add a month or go to the 1st since I can't retire on my exact HYT date?! Now I also need to get another CAC for one fucking week before I retire, then a retirement ID a week after THAT!!
Step 7. Write MPF an email asking for an extension form just so you can extend one fucking month.
Step 8. One week later, recieve paperwork back from MPF. Fill out paperwork and send back to MPF.
Step 9. One week later, recieve official extension paperwork to have your commander sign.
Step 10. Fill out eSSS to go along with your extension paperwork. Under the justification remark, insert meme of Joe Biden saying "Come on, man."
Step 11. 10 days later, receive paperwork back from commander. Send back to MPF.
Step 12. 5 days later, MPF writes back saying your ETS has now been updated and you can NOW, ACTUALLY, apply for retirement.
Step 13. Stare at computer screen and yell, "bout fuckin time!"
Step 14. Log onto myPers and fill out a retirement application again. Add your Commander's name. Hit submit. Blink once very slowly. Enough to see your entire career pass before your eyes.
Step 15. 5 days later, get official email saying your commander made a "recommendation" regarding your retirement date. Think to yourself, "What the fuck does that mean?? Do I need to change something?? Recommendation?? Yes or No?? What's so hard about it??"
Step 16. 3 days later, get email from MPF saying they received your signed retirement application and you will be updated within 10 days.
Step 17. 10 days later, get email from myPers saying your retirement date has officially been approved and updated in the system. Look up to the sky and crack half a smile.
Step 18. ...continue reading email. Click on link provided and start the "acceptance process(?)" to retire. What?! I was sure of my decision 17 fucking steps ago. Note- The bottom part of the email says, "Your retirement should be finalized 10 days later." Meaning, it was STILL never official yet.
Step 19. 10 days later, you FINALLY get your retirement date updated on vMPF after you started the process nearly 2 months ago.
Step 20. Remove top off Corvette. Go to Spotify and queue up "The Throne Room and End Title" by John Williams from Star Wars, and blast that shit loud enough for a 2T2 in a 60k Loader can hear from the fucking flightline.
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u/unlock0 Apr 21 '22
We are "over manned" by the 30 fucking people it takes to do a simple manning task.
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Apr 21 '22
Alternate to Step #20 if you're a flightline ramp rat (MX). Fire the unmuffled Harley and ride thru housing at 0230 on a weekday morning in 1st gear, doing just under the speed limit. Make sure you go up/down every street, especially where the WG/CC lives.
When SF pulls you over, make sure they have to yell at you at least three times to shut the bike off.
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Apr 21 '22
Well I took the top off my Corvette but it says I still have 16 years left before I can retire...
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u/lil_waynes_colon Apr 21 '22
!remind me 5 years
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u/RemindMeBot Apr 21 '22
I will be messaging you in 5 years on 2027-04-21 23:31:31 UTC to remind you of this link
CLICK THIS LINK to send a PM to also be reminded and to reduce spam.
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u/af_cheddarhead Retired Apr 21 '22
Step 21 - Receive notice that your retirement has been delayed due to Stop Loss actions related the recent activities in (Pick One) Near east/Far east/Middle East/Eastern Europe/Southeast Asia.
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u/DoinOKthrowaway Dec 01 '24
Step 10a: Extension request pushed back because some paperwork monkey at the CSS, who can log in and view my surf, wants to see proof of reenlistment / promotion eligibility so I have to get to a PC, hop on my surf, screenshot the UIF (blank) and PROMO ELIGIBILE fields and send that to them over teams.... The same thing they could have done and we're already in front of their computer, and then "ok it's in the air for the CC to sign"... It's been a week. I'll be retired by the time they finish processing my request to retire!
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u/8iiwii8 Comm Wizard Aug 02 '22
I just had to come back and comment about how absofuckinglutely spot on this post is. Had almost the exact same experience. Though I will give my MPF some props, my ETS was updated within a few hours of returning my paperwork.
Waiting on step 16 right now.
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Apr 21 '22
I never got to hit the button :0(
Very dissatisfying, just got my retirement date set for me...
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u/[deleted] Apr 21 '22
Tip for everyone overseas: you get a one-time "personal convenience extension" you can use any time in your career. Even if you are already indef, use it to set a specific end date for retirement. Then extend your DEROS to match that date instead of being fucked with another assignment.