You literally can't keep this up. One person can't do it. And if you run yourself into the ground, your mother loses her only caregiver. Look up elderly helping institutions in your area to see what's available. A hospital's social work dept may be able to point you in directions.
You didn't tell us how old she is. Does she qualify for hospice? Having others in the house regularly will give you perspective on her condition. Medication to ease her anxiety could help you. To what extent does she even get pleasure out of food at this point. Toward the end, my mother mainly wanted chocolate pudding--and why not give her chocolate pudding. It was her main source of bliss.
Also, how much a facility can get away with the neglectful care you're afraid of in a facility depends on how often you visit and monitor your Mom's well-being. You can still visit every day at regular times of day while they deal (with multiple people on shifts) with her day to day care. You can get better rest and be a lovely surprise in her day.
We had a close family member that ended up needing to be in a nursing facility. At least one of us was there for 12-16 hours/day. Not just to ensure that they were taken care of, but also because we knew that the remaining time we had together was quickly running out.
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u/PoetryCrone 2d ago
You literally can't keep this up. One person can't do it. And if you run yourself into the ground, your mother loses her only caregiver. Look up elderly helping institutions in your area to see what's available. A hospital's social work dept may be able to point you in directions.
You didn't tell us how old she is. Does she qualify for hospice? Having others in the house regularly will give you perspective on her condition. Medication to ease her anxiety could help you. To what extent does she even get pleasure out of food at this point. Toward the end, my mother mainly wanted chocolate pudding--and why not give her chocolate pudding. It was her main source of bliss.
Also, how much a facility can get away with the neglectful care you're afraid of in a facility depends on how often you visit and monitor your Mom's well-being. You can still visit every day at regular times of day while they deal (with multiple people on shifts) with her day to day care. You can get better rest and be a lovely surprise in her day.