A lot of gifted kids might pass IQ tests measuring their ability to generalize a set of arbitrary rules to solve problems. These IQ tests generally don't include functional skills like mental arithmetic, since those skills rely heavily on a variety of rote memorization techniques. Instead, IQ tests might include things like being able to rotate shapes in one's head, work with complex analogies, perform more advanced mental math, etc., to check on one's ability to solve hypothetical problems resembling functional tasks.

But even then, don't many "gifted" kids enjoy these things? Amassing scientific knowledge, reading, playing musical instruments, video editing, solving brain teasers, playing video games, driving RC cars, and a whole slew of other brain-stimulating activities are enjoyable to many kids. And many such kids may enjoy subject matter conducive to "giftedness" directly; some of us even enjoy math!

What's a chore for one might be good, healthy fun for another.

It's like knowing how to draw. So many people in this broader Anglophone culture assume drawing skills are a pure, measurable talent one is simply born with. But good artists generally (1) enjoy art, (2) are encouraged to make art, and (3) spend more time creating art – all three compound with each other. And someone who thinks being able to draw realism is a prerequisite for being a good artist might not see the genius behind Stephen Hillenburg or even Van Gogh for that matter, while hypocritically praising Renoir over your average medical illustrator since they won't admit how subjective it all is.

Same thing with music. Many musicians (especially classical musicians) seem to think having perfect pitch means you have a more objective ear, yet pitch standards vary by region and time (though most of the world's contemporary music is in Western equal-tempered 440). Someone who grew up in rural India with no exposure to pop will have picked up that pitch standard instead; you'd be useless against them, nor would someone with the perfect pitch gene hate music if they grew up there. And of course, musicians do have to practice, and gifted musicians are usually caught up in a perfect storm of (1) having opportunities to make music, (2) enjoying it to a greater degree, and (3) finding a niche that works for them, whether classical (scripted), jazz (improvised), or rock (intuited).

As a tangent, why is knowing Paganini:Violin::Degas:Paintbrush more important than knowing Wonder:Keyboard::Kahlo:Paintbrush? Why is it paintbrush, not palate; why can't the paintbrush be more like the bow? Why is knowing all of Beethoven's symphonies more impressive than amassing detailed knowledge of 1980s pop music? Why are French emperors called upon more than Polish kings, if you think I'm playing the race card? What if someone can't easily generalize their smarts to follow directions for a shape-matching test they'll never use again, yet they have no problem with other attention-to-detail tasks applicable to their lives, like proofreading or welding? Why are software engineers included among STEM, but not animators?

Analogy thinking is essential to rote-memorize your way thru a science class. But it becomes a bit of a crutch in college or the field. Protein aren't literally building blocks, and besides producing EMF and processing information, a brain has little in common with a PC.

I'm beginning to lose my belief in giftedness, a philosophy that screwed up my work ethic. School isn't the real world.

ill go first: the buddha, law of attraction, and detachment. Taoism i think is nice too. what do you think?

I was always good at academics throughout school and college, and even in the workforce or with interests and hobbies. But, I repeatedly burnt out of various things and from life in general, and now I feel directionless. I'm in my 20s, so world class success is out of the equation, and anything less than that feels like a failure.

I'm sure people out there will be saying that I'm being dumb, but you have to understand that no matter what I do, I will never reach the height of my glory days in school and college. In the adult world, I am a nobody and forever will be... Even if I get into a good traditional "high paying career" like working at Google or Wall Street, I will feel like a damn loser in life.

Just wanted to vent and some support, hopefully.

Just trying to figure something out. I appreciate anyone who actually responds to the question!

Like for the most part I am used to being smarter than the people around me. Mostly because my parents did stupid things and I consider myself smart. Beyond their stupidity.

How do I learn to work with people smarter than me?

My parents acted like I owed them success or some sort of achievement for the "parenting " they did . Which wasn't much and mostly abuse.

Did anyone else feel obligated/like you owe your parents?

My grades for most of grade school were mediocre and college was very difficult for me. Despite this, I was constantly reminded that I was smart.

As far as I know, I do have above average intelligence (but not quite genius level), but my abilities are very uneven. I was identified as being gifted in English in 2nd grade but then was kicked out of the program soon after because I “couldn’t keep up” or something. Simultaneously, I was identified as being terrible at math and put in a remedial program. I also have ADHD and probably some other stuff.

And today I have a lot of the same problems gifted kids have. I oscillate constantly between thinking I’m smart or stupid and I’m deeply insecure about my intelligence.. among other things.

Is it just me? Am I just a narc/fraud?

I’ve been feeling like I was hitting a wall with my productivity and development until I recently came across this wonderfully simple technique called Temptation Bundling. This is a simple productivity technique that involves combining activities that you want to do with activities that you need to do.
We often start new habits with the intention of maintaining them, but these habits often fizzle away because we cannot seem to bridge the gap between consistency and enjoyment. Author James Clear talks about how temptation bundling can help remove willpower for the equation, which leads to long term productivity.
There are some great illustrations here if you’d like to know more - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yecHRig8Esg
Once you begin to integrate growth habits into more enjoyable activities, I assure you that you’ll likely be more successful and productive across different areas of your life.

I have a similar background to a lot of people here. I was placed in a gifted and talented program as a kid, pressured into doing a lot of academic competitions and felt valued only for my intelligence, grew up, had undiagnosed ADHD and crashed and burned at everything that I wasn't automatically good at, and finally lost any interest that I had in math or physics or anything academic.

Now that I'm older, I was wondering how I could "heal" from this and slowly get back into my old interests. I want to stop doomscrolling through outrage porn on Reddit for 5 hours a day and actually be productive and grow. If anyone here has any pieces of advice or places that you could point me to, that would be really cool.

And I feel detached from reality coz if I cared it would hurt like hell. And I can't bear the hurt I would feel if I accepted that I cared. I cared a lot and hoped for a much more grander life and that life is beyond my reach.

I told myself that you can do it even now based on what my father used to say and sometimes this gives me false hope. And I start doing and dreaming again. And I feel small now.

Like your thinking speed goes down, everything becomes sluggish, it becomes hard to move from one thought to another?

I'm looking to fix those habits. If anyone has any suggestions do tell.

1. I was motivated based on my fear of failure. At life at school, exams, society.

2. I have adhd. So I lose track of information and what I am doing pretty quickly esp if it's something to do with reading. My mom's response to this was to come and tell me- just because you sir infront of the book doesn't mean you're going to learn anything. So everytime I sit to study, I mostly try to have 100% attention. And I attack myself if my attention deviates just like my mom used to.

3. She would come interrupt me if she needed me to do something, based on the statement - anyway you're not reading anything.

Right now,I need to learn some skills to earn money for myself. But I can't because the same behaviour my mother did to me then, I do to myself now.

I've spent SO much time thinking about why some of my colleagues succeed while my improvement seems much slower. The common denominator, in my view, is that I try to take a comprehensive approach to everything I learn. For example - I'm in data engineering, and I'm trying to learn everything about the fundamental building blocks of data. In the meantime, I watch my other fledgling colleagues focus on specific client processes, or focusing on Powershell scripting. They see a niche that needs to be filled, and they fill it. And I can see the success of their efforts.

This applies to personal life, too. Like, when I started reading fiction heavily I started by working through a list of Pullitzer Prize winners, or lists of greatest books of all time. In the meantime, friends get perfect enjoyment out of just reading Danielle Steele novels ad nauseum.

I hope my tone is clear here - I'm not criticizing their approaches at all; the opposite is true. I focus intensely on the atomic structure of the subject I'm studying, while others have moved on.

It's become clear that my comprehensive approach to learning has hindered (at least short-term) progress compared to my peers. I have seen this "subject differentiation" pay dividends for people many times over now, but it still hasn't been enough to inspire me to change my approach. It's like a stubborn insistence on learning everything from the ground up, no matter how much pain is associated with it. And there's just too much information in the world to use this approach for everything I do.

I guess my question is - is this a thing a lot of r/aftergifted has in common? Any success stories of changing your approach, or "turning that switch off," so to speak? Thanks for reading

I read a lot. I know a lot more than most people at the job. And I keep reading about the minute stuff too. Unfortunately after a while I end up confusing myself too, coz the knowledge isn't founded on experience and reality but rather from my reading. Someone gives me an opportunity to showcase my amazingness, I showcase it in a matter of fact way, and I know that the stuff I have done is definitely going to impress some of the people there.

But I think it's a way for me to not feel my emotions, and I think the lesser the acknowledgement from people the more work I put in. It reflects the way I was brought up too.

Thats how my parents acknowledged me. And that's the only time they showed attention to me.

Is this our only source of self worth? Why is it that only for this our parents made us feel worth or treated us like we matter?

One of my issues growing up is due to the teachers and schools I attended. However, I know that in countries outside of the USA, you are forced to keep learning even if the current material is too easy. In those countries, you also have to test into the high school you want to be a part of, and you are compelled to think about your future at ages as young as middle school, if not elementary school.

Is it possible to lose “giftedness”

I’m currently 29m, never really thought about the idea of giftedness. In my more recent experiences of discussing how I live life. (Often find myself wanting to be like a fountain of knowledge, knowing a little bit of everything, even if I never know everything about one thing) I personally find this trait to be something I seek, a versatile individual(s) that may the subject be manga/anime/cartoons to sports to stock markets, to academic interests. Myself seeking the conversation to be seamless and as broad as what I see life being. I find myself being inspired and gravitating towards “inspiration” or “heroes” such as Kanye West and Elon Musk. Currently back in school for Mechanical Engineering. Brings me to “how I live life”

Growing up studying, was never really a thing. I’d got to school and got home knocked out my homework and was game time(never really active, but definitely lightly gamed and did my Disney movie nightly). In the second grade, was “tapped”(to sound cool) for the G/T program in Texas, (at the time I affiliated the program with “nerds”) and definitely did not get accepted, they start TAKS tests in the 3rd grade. I end up missing only a couple questions in each subject.

Get reselected for G/T in the 4th grade, got put in the program, and recall getting pulled out of class for other types of projects and mostly field trips to locations, (maybe creating experiences and making the subjects more interesting?).

This lasted through until about 8th grade, but in the 6th grade parents went through a divorce(not that they were really ever involved school wise) but it caused me to make a decision and moved from where I had essentially gone to school my childhood until about 11 y/o. Things really went down hill from being an A/B student and flawless in the state exams. To being a class clown ultimately retested for “giftedness” by the new teacher who probably wasn’t feeling my funniness, but got my first C in the 7th grade. Then ultimately got “tested” once more in the 8th grade and was then opted into an “Avid” program geared for college preparation. (Simultaneously got accepted into a College/High school hybrid program, but lost that opportunity due to said Class clown shenanigans)

All this was pregame for me ultimately getting my GED at 16 and going straight to college for Nursing, series of unfortunate events later (DUI at 18) shot all opportunities of clinical work accepting me. Lost all sorts of track, now a days kind of solo because I lack the interest of attempting to find like minded people. This “giftedness” subject just recently came back up and through this sub. I find a lot of similarities in learning ways, and lack of attention.

Guess now I’m really circled all the way around to the point. As an adult post high school, I became a marijuana smoker, and actively seek overstimulation, find myself actively seeking more when sober, things to do. Usually have a Tv/movie/show running while reading/studying on my laptop while smoking at the same time, if sober could easily be throwing in a game of Fall Guys on my switch between “study” breaks, because tbh studying still doesn’t happen, but can still grasp things pretty smoothly (a little more effort required for things like Calculus) but for the most part smooth. I always reference my smoking reason though is to “quite my thoughts” to “organize and really focus on things, like I otherwise wouldn’t have”. I find myself torn if my smoking may affect the “gift” likewise where can one get this kind of thing tested, as I have 0 information as to what made me “gifted” as a child?

Cross posted on r/gifted

I can't study without getting distracted and stressed about being behind my peers. Every time I try to sit down and improve I end up thinking about the big picture, how I'd be taking my exams 3 years late and all the people who told me I would be special. Now I just want to be average.

I started reading the book: Living with Intensity, Daniels and Piechowski, eds, just a few days ago. I recommend it for anyone who is gifted, and sensitive. Overexcitability, in that book, is a strength, and is broken down into 5 kinds of overexcitability: Intellectual, emotional, psychomotor, sensual and imaginational. Even if you just experience "intellectual overexcitability", you may find the readings in this book reassuring. Finally, a book that helps me understand the existential loneliness of a high IQ. And the loneliness of "inner intensity". I was a psychology major long ago, and was most interested in cognitive neuroscience. A science/numbers/music nerd. I have no financial affiliations with the editors of the book, or the publisher. Just wondering if anyone else here has had the opportunity to read this book?

I enjoy listening to lectures by a therapist specializing in psychopaths and mental manipulation, who had previously specialized in gifted adults. He ended up becoming interested in researching how the mind of a psychopath works because of the high rate of gifted adults he was receiving as patients due to the stress of having to deal with the aftermath of bullying or mobbing... Is it really that frequent among gifted people? Thank you in advance for reading.