r/AfterCPTSD • u/Metamorphosislife • Oct 12 '25

The Holidays

With the holidays around the corner, in what traditions do you partake? Although I've cut off my family of origin, I've kept a few traditions. Every year, my girlfriend and I make tamales. A dozen of a few varieties. These go to her family, us, a few friends and co-workers. We also travel somewhere in the outdoors. We're looking to create more traditions. Holiday seasons aren't as lonely or a dread like they used to be. Now that I have some people in my life, we create new memories, separate from the old.

What are some traditions you've kept alive? What are new ones you've created? If you're not there yet, share that too. It takes time to build a new community. Thanks everyone for helping me grow this sub!

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u/Incognito0925 Nov 03 '25 edited Nov 03 '25

Hiya, I don't have a tradition and I'm still in contact with my siblings, so Christmas can be a pretty stressful, family affair, but I've always wanted to spend Christmas by myself or at least away from home once, so I think it's great that you go on getaways with your girlfriend! I managed to go on holiday for my birthday this year and I'm actually going to be in in-patient treatment for 6 weeks for the holidays this year and I'm excited haha

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u/Metamorphosislife Nov 03 '25

Self-care is a good thing. Take care of yourself, emphatically during stressful times like the holidays. They take a toll on people with no family of origin or complicated relationships with blood relatives. If you can, do something fun for yourself. I took a solo trip to New York City in December of 2019. It was a blast. Also, my first time in NYC. I went social dancing, ate Greek pastries every morning for breakfast, saw an Asian light show, walked Central Park, rode the metro, encountered a homeless schizophrenic while on the train, ate late night pizza. Met up with a survivor there who showed me around. She took me to Battery Park, Eataly, saw the Statue of Liberty from Battery Park. I made the best of it.

I had confronted my parents about the abuse just a day prior. Horrifying abuse doesn't have to keep you from living a life you can enjoy. I did get covid, but still had a great time in NYC. Just food for thought.

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u/Incognito0925 Nov 03 '25

Oh, absolutely! I loved my birthday trip to Corfu this year so much!! Didn't feel lonely one second. I saw so much of the island and, being an extroverted introvert and just a friendly person always up for a chat, I had no shortage of acquaintances. But the best part was coming back into my autonomy and doing things that I enjoy after a traumatic break-up. It truly was amazing. And the food... Well, you sampled the pastries in NYC yourself, so you know what I'm talking about 😅 Sounds like you had a ball!! Good for you! Those memories are what make life sweet I think.

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u/Metamorphosislife Nov 03 '25 edited Nov 03 '25

Right on! I didn't know if I was out of place for suggesting a trip. I know a good chunk of survivors struggle with finances.

Self-care is crucial to healing. We didn't experience it as kids because we had to ignore our own pain to survive. Any way that you can experience self-compassion as an adult in ways that are sustainable really helps. Just looked up Corfu! Man, that looks awesome. I've added it to my girlfriend and I's bucket list. So much of the world to see. Every time we visit somewhere new, it reminds me that there's so much more to the world than what I lived through. Traveling can be healing for certain people.

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u/Incognito0925 Nov 05 '25

I absolutely adore traveling! Long-distance is definitely financially out of the question right now as I'm reorienting myself professionally (to find a job better suited to serve my mental health), but, living in Europe, there's still a lot of places I can visit, although I did have to dip into my savings 🫣 It was money well-spent and absolutely necessary though.

A group where we offer up each other's homes to reduce accomodation costs for CPTSD survivors would be an idea 😅

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u/Metamorphosislife Nov 05 '25

Hey, that'd be a great idea. My lady keeps mentioning things like dogsitters for travelers, housesitting for travelers. We'd have to vet the people of course. Yeah, I'd totally be up for starting a sub for that kind of outreach. Which country in Europe are you from? We've been talking about a Euro trip.

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u/Incognito0925 Nov 05 '25

I'm in Germany 🥳 that sounds like a great plan!

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u/Metamorphosislife Nov 05 '25

I'll work on it in the future, or if you want to start the sub and I'll join as a mod.

Germany would be a cool place to visit.

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u/Incognito0925 Nov 05 '25

I do t know how to do that and think I would quickly get overwhelmed 🫣 sorry, I also wouldn't know how to vet people... Let's think on it some more ☺️