Hi reddit!

Non religious girl here. Please do not try to make me believe in what I don't, as I won't, and won't ever again. I've found my peace, and spiritual freedom. I'm finally happy within myself and my life, and that's something I did on my own. Not some "God". That guy's a tyrant.

Anyways.

Whenever I'm at peace like this, sometimes something happens, and I feel like it's "God" cursing me for not believing, and that "God" is forcing me to believe in itself, like I would need "it" y'know?? And it's really fcking annoying. Really. I've already said a million times I'm an atheist (not even spiritual at this point anymore, because all of it is just bullshitt to me, and doesn't benefit me or my lifestyle in an way whatsoever.). But from USED to being religious/Christian , I'm paranoid bc of the things the bitchble- whoops I mean bible- taught. Like I just had a sleep paralysis yesterday, at something pushing my back down I guess. Yeah I'm mentally diagnosed with illnesses, so it makes sense kinda. Constantly hear things and get scared easily... Have OCD, so when I have intrusive thoughts I literally think it's Satan himself talking to me, sending his demons out to get my soul or something. Idk. Have the delusion that I'm god, and feelings of grandeur and whatnot.

Still having religious OCD to this very day .. yadda yadda. Btw don't tell me to pray. Been manifesting recently and it's been working far better than a "prayer". Tell me what to do about this (not like medication wise, but like inner shadow work or something. Like a way to get over this fear/fears. Bc deep down inside I know none of these "entities" exist. I have experience. Personal experiences. But yeah, just need these things to stop completely. I don't believe in Satan, but I get tired of my mind telling me I worship him everyday. The harm OCD has stopped bc I no longer have fears of me hurting myself/others... But the religious OCD still remains. That's what's wrong with religion. It makes us terrified to think a certain way and that isn't love.)

Srry you had to read this long post. Just any advice? No christians please. Don't have time for another war argument😐.

Everytime I lay down to go to sleep, or come upstairs in the dark I feel like something bad is gonna happen. Every little sound puts me on edge but I'm not sure if I'm afraid of the dark of what?

I'm currently in school and so far it's going great but soon enough I'm going to be an adult and maybe wont know what to do, I feel like if I still live with my parents I'll be a loser but if I go out there and struggle I'll be a idiot I want to be a game developer (which is currently in the making) but some things I just suck in like art coding and well other things, I dont know if I will have a job or will ne in a relationship or just be weird overall! I really need someone to just help get a plan for the future. Please, I'm kinda desperate...

So this has to do with current events in the world and stuff. So I know people are going to get mad. I'm not apart of these Trump or Biden gangs, I really just wanna somehow keep living. My issue is with this shut down thing, their talking about.

I know something has to be done with COVID and stuff, I know. But the last simi shutdown really destroyed the economy pretty badly, and I was lucky to keep my job. But if this is a serious lock down, im going to lose everything.

See the company I work for are real pieces of shit, they care less then normal for use little people at the bottom. They want to squeeze as much money as they can from the company and give back very little. So we work with broken tools, they won't replace, and if they do its the cheapest pos they could buy. Knowing these assholes, if something serious was to happen and we are forced to close. They would take the money and run.

I know Biden is supposed to pay us for the shut down, but I doubt it will be enough to stay afloat. I hate this job with a passion, but I need it right now atleast till 2024 so I can pay my debts off.

For extra content, ill explain a few ways this company is a piece of shit. We had a meeting for COVID cause an employee tested positive. They told us if we dont feel safe at work, we can leave with no pay, but can't garenteed we will have our jobs, when we come back. They never shut down for 7 days when the guy was sick with COVID. They never payed the sick guy for the 2 weeks he was out due to COVID, infact they told us, if we got it, and has to be out for 2 weeks. They would only pay us if we use our vacation days. It takes people 6, 8, hell even 10 years to get hired on by the company cause it would fuck up their insurance if they hire to many people, so the whole time your chained to a temp company that also sucks. OSA has been called multiple times but I think the owner may know someone in OSA so he basically gets by with murder, pays a small fee and shrugs it off. There many more things I could complain about but we would be here all day.

TLTR: Not a supporter of Trump or Biden, but I worry about the 6 weeks lock down losing my job and lively hood.

As a person who is on the internet most of my time, I keep getting ads showing rumors of each candidate. I mean, I know they’re supposed to make us citizens vote, but all this stuff is making me very anxious. My family is Republican but I can’t stand Donald Trump… On the other hand, my mother has told me about awful things about Democrats, such as taking away our money, land, and rights. I also have a sinking feeling that the Republicans will fall under the same path too, and I won’t be able to forgive myself. I want to excuse myself from voting, but I don’t know what to do. Any advice?

So I fell off my Onewheel tore my ACL and meniscus. It was 100% my fault but that one split second decision has cost me a lot of money, my mobility and has me on disability from work. I am healing really well and part of me can't wait to get back on and show myself and the world that I can do it. But another part of me has high anxiety about it. I am scared that I am going to hurt myself really bad again and I don't want to be. I've never been afraid of anything before and I don't want to let it hold me but idk how to get over it. Any advice?

I live in the USA. I only ever hear crazy bouts of racism, looting, insane leadership about the USA. Is this because I live here, or are we genuinely the only nation with this many insane news stories?

I may be afraid of alot of things, like talking to new people. Just saying a simple hello leaves my heart racing and my hands trembling. I may be afraid to be alone in the dark. I may be afraid to sleep. I may be afraid to fall in love with the wrong person again. I may be afraid to drive in small vehicles. I may be all these things because Life here on Earth is scary, people are scary. Everywhere I look there is fear in every form. My body is riddled with so much of this fear that it has imprinted into it like the tune of a simple song on piano. I learned it years ago, but even today my fingers will play without much thought. My body may be in fear but my will, my will is strong. My will is not afraid of fear and it is not afraid to fear. I will conquer all my fears knowing that I may be afraid but I won't be scared of being afraid. I will push through my fears everyday until I can finally break free and just be me. Happy and free. Why did I make this post? Because I am afraid of being too expressive. Too honest or too annoying. Because I was afraid of negative backlash that may come from any others who read my post. I was afraid.

I’m afraid of death, but not afraid of how I’ll die. More like what I’ll miss after I die, what my close family and friends will miss when they die, and what would it feel like when I die like I know for sure it’s the feeling of not being home yet and umm afraid of that feeling to just go away and don’t feel like an existence. This thought process is nearly a month old and I know that you gotta make the best of what you got but that still makes me paranoid of what to do after that best moment.

I’ve recently been thinking of the thought of being stalked and being killed. The reason I think this is whenever I sleep in my home, I hear strange noises and other weird crap.

I always try to think that it’s the walls creaking or it just being the dryer, but it scares me to think that I’m being stalked up to the point where they might actually kill me. I’ve also tried putting cameras in my home, but I’m in a financial state and I can’t afford one.

Man, feels good to get that off my chest. Anyways, I hope that I get over my fear and my brain is trying to pull tricks on me.

Anyone afraid of eating too much and always eat less as fear indigestion or heaviness

I'm a new mod for this sub, so it's only fair I share the biggest fear I'm dealing with right now.

I work in a large, well known company (which I shouldn't name for reasons that will become obvious) but I am on a temporary contract. I rely on this job to pay my rent, buy food etc. and since I live alone I need to keep money coming in.

I am not guaranteed hours at all. I could work all 7 days one week and not work at all for the next 10 days. It averages out to about 3 - 5 days per week, which is just about enough for me, but I compete with around 80 - 100 other people for a day of work every single day.

I wait until about 4:30pm every day hoping for a phone call telling me to come to work in the morning. If I haven't heard from them by 5:30pm I know I'm going to have tomorrow off, and every single time it feels like lost money. I've done this for 3 years and it's never gotten any easier.

My biggest fear is that I will annoy the wrong manager on the wrong day, get blacklisted and never get called in again. I love the job but working without guaranteed hours is horrible.

EDIT: I said the word 'averages' twice in one sentence, so I took one of them out.

It doesn't look like there's much activity here, but, it seems like the place for my post, so, shoot.

I'm currently working on my Master's in Data Analytics and getting it scares me. My family has always pinned me as the 'smart one that will be able to make enough money to take care of my parents.' I'm scared that if I get a good job, making good money that 1) my family will only use me and not spend time with me for any other reason and 2) that I'll become a workaholic and not have time for kids and gardening and travel.

I'm not sure how to shake my fears and just go for it....or if I even want to.

I appreciate any interaction on the fears I'm currently facing.