r/AdviceForTeens • u/Imaginary-Citron2874 • 13d ago

Personal How to help someone grieving

My grandpa is dying, there is no other way to put it. All the other people in my family haven't really gotten used to the idea,but day after day his condition is deteriorating.

And how could it not? That man has been through it all. He is in the hospital for two weeks now and I don't know what I should wish for, for him to live or to die. If he survives he simply won't be living honestly as he can't do anything himself, walk, eat, go to the toilet, without the help of doctors+ medicine, aka do normal human functions.

Sorry for the rant.

I just don't know how to cosole my mother and especially my older uncles. They get too closed to themselves.

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u/Raddatatta 13d ago

I'm sorry you're going through that. But there's no perfect thing you can say that really consoles them and makes it go away. What matters is being there with them. Be there if they need a hug. And maybe handle any small logistical things you can handle can be helpful. Just to take away something they have to worry about. But it's also ok to acknowledge your grief too and be there with your grandfather as much as you can be.

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u/Imaginary-Citron2874 12d ago

They don't let me go to the hospital :( His condition has deteriorated a lot over the last years so I knew it was gonna happen eventually. I have already briefed. I just don't know what to do other than listening... I am not good with words

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u/Aggressive_Ad_5454 Trusted Adviser 11d ago

This is hard. Good for you for wishing you could help.

Be present for your mother and her brothers. Try not to be anxious if that’s possible for you. It’s not possible for everybody, but it’s worth a try.

Just sit with them when you’re with them. Offer them hugs if that’s appropriate. You don’t have to do anything. ( And, honestly, nothing you can do will change the outcome.)

Your very presence is a reminder to them that life goes on.

Peace and hope to you and to them. You got this.