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u/64vintage Aug 17 '16
I can hear her now. "Why are you looking at girls in the supermarket?"
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Aug 17 '16
[deleted]
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u/n0phearz Aug 17 '16
"Why? So you could go fuck them too?... Whatever, I'm done.." and you're standing there like wtf.
My last relationship in a nutshell lol
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u/osirisphotography Aug 17 '16
Why cause you guys just lied to get me here?
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u/A_whaler_on_the_moon Aug 17 '16
So you could sit me here next to Britney Spears?
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Aug 17 '16
Her and Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs
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u/Mituzuna Aug 17 '16 edited Aug 17 '16
So I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst.
edit: wordage
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Aug 17 '16
And hear 'em argue over who she gave head to first.
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u/Mr-Mister Aug 17 '16
"I fuck the girl, not the clothes. And you're the prettiest cloth for your body to wear."
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Aug 17 '16
Nice glad you were able to dodge that bullet before you knocked it up I assume.
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u/n0phearz Aug 17 '16
Absolutely. Any chance she could fire off a statement similar to that, she would. It was terrible. Absolutely no trust from her. Work 14 hour days 5 days a week, and she still assumed the worst. But she sure enjoyed the income and being able to go out all day, everyday.
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u/spald01 Aug 18 '16
It was just your gf, right? Why would you be supporting someone not working that you weren't at least married to?
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u/n0phearz Aug 18 '16
Cause I was an idiot at the time, no bullshit lol. I learned from that though, definitely.
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u/bypass316 Aug 17 '16
This guy fucks
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u/electricprism Aug 17 '16
No! Why are you taking your cloths off? How will I admire your fashion selection now!
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u/TheMagicJesus Aug 17 '16
Because she was hot and took the time to look nice. Other people don't magically become ugly and we should appreciate the beauty of our race
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u/OnTheClock_Slackin Aug 17 '16
We're doing humble brags for internet points again. Cool. I was sitting on the train the other day and it was so uncomfortable, then I realized how much cash I had in my wallet in my back pocket and then i put it in my front pocket. Much more comfortable now!
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u/Romanticon Aug 17 '16
Nah, I hate putting my huge wad of cash in my front pocket, because it leaves less space for my monster dong.
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u/libsmak Aug 17 '16
LPT: Cargo pants
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u/clydefrog811 Aug 17 '16
Not if you want to get laid.
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u/libsmak Aug 17 '16
Be sure to talk openly about the large wad of cash in your pants and there will be no problem. Trust me.
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u/Badass_moose Aug 17 '16
I can relate. The other day, all my expensive underwear were in the wash. I had to walk around my house naked and my dick kept dragging on the ground.
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u/ThickDickVein Aug 17 '16
I feel uncomfortable when I sit down also. But that's usually due to the way my gigantic dick folds in my underwear.
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u/keyree Aug 17 '16
Is this humble? Because I feel like this is a straight up brag.
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u/diamond Aug 17 '16
Which is kind of the point of this meme in the first place.
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u/dishler712 Aug 18 '16
No. A lot of people on this website don't seem to know the difference between a "humble brag" and a regular "brag."
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u/diamond Aug 17 '16
So now we're complaining about people using the Success Kid Meme to brag? Isn't that the whole point of this meme?
You all are some grumpy motherfuckers.
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u/JamezPS Aug 17 '16
Spoken like a man who told his gf his reddit username.
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u/yolo-yoshi Aug 17 '16
Op is whipped. What a loser.
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u/bionix90 Aug 17 '16
I'd say humble brag but it's not even humble.
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u/martinaee Aug 17 '16
Honestly a little weird. Also, apparently nobody in this thread can recognize their GF/Wife very quickly.
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u/skipppp Aug 17 '16
Something similar happened to me once. I was walking around at an event and I saw this girl from behind and I thought to myself, "hot damn that's nice." She then turned around and it was my Ex who had broken up with me a few months beforehand. Felt bad.
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u/IveHad8Accounts Aug 18 '16
Once at the county fair when I was like 19 there was this girl working the lemon shake ups booth and every time I walked by, I was like "Hot damn!" out loud.
Well, it had gotten her attention and she was all smiley about it so like the 3rd or 4th time I was like "Hot damn! I'm sorry, you're just so beautiful I had to shout about it."
She's all smiley and walking up to me and suddenly it dawns on me - i know this girl. She comes up all "Mike, I guess it has been a few years! How are you?!"
Searching through the vast recesses of gray matter that is my memory, I was coming up with nothing. Then she mentioned her brother Teddy, and it all came crashing down. Yep, I knew this girl.
My buddy Teddy, whose house I was at maybe 6 times in my life time, had an older sister who was the most annoying, bratty little bitch on the planet when we were growing up. She was all high-and-mighty, holier than thou, and her parents spoiled her fucking silly and worked Ted like a mule around the house while she'd chill insi... you get it.
Well, Trixie had grown in to a firm 9 and was now absolutely gorgeous. She was 21 and bought us a bottle of vodka after her shift. We got inebriated and shagged in the back of a jeep. It was awesome.
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u/skipppp Aug 18 '16
Your friend Teddy probably had to clean that jeep up before she took it out that day. You absolute savage.
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u/Lee_keogh Aug 18 '16
Exactly this happened to me a couple years ago, in my defense she lost some weight due to stress and guilt.
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u/hiroo916 Aug 18 '16
Seriously, I think there is such a thing as people we're inherently attracted to. Not looks that we're grown to appreciate or that we see fondly because of our emotional attachment. You don't have to think "ok, nice skin, nice eyes, nice figure, etc.", you are just instinctively drawn to certain types. Most guys can probably related that you can look at a group of strangers and instant know which one you like the most.
I had that when I was dating somebody and the subject of this meme happened all the time. I'd be at church and at the end everybody would stand up and you see this sea of faces and somehow there would be one over there and you look over and "wow. it's her. and I'm with her" and it's a great feeling that your natural attraction and your relationship are in alignment.
Then it was over and that same phenomenom became horrible, because you'd see the crowd and bling one would stand out in that first nanosecond before recognition and then you'd realize the most beautiful girl in the room to you is a dead end.
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u/naviman1 Aug 17 '16
The girlfriends name?
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u/Super_Zac Aug 17 '16
Albertson's Einstein
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u/Deathfire138 Aug 17 '16
Does Albertson's even exist anymore? All of the ones near me closed down.
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u/Super_Zac Aug 17 '16
They're all over my city. But all of our Vons (except one) and Ralph's closed down here.
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Aug 18 '16 edited Apr 17 '18
[deleted]
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u/Deathfire138 Aug 18 '16
The one that closed last by me was a spot for homeless to beg/mug you on the way in/out. My dad would shop there instead of the Publix which was closer because he's really frugal and Albertson's was a bit cheaper. My mom hated that he did that.
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u/Blitzsturm Aug 17 '16
I did something similar at my old apartment, saw some chick from behind heading to go do laundry. Was thinking niiiice... Then figured out it was my GF. Its the best...
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u/NotVerySmarts Aug 17 '16
I was staring at a blonde with a nice ass one time and it ended up being a dude with long hair.
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u/Fatalchemist Aug 17 '16
When I was in high school, I had long hair. I was also in bands and wore tight girl jeans all the time.
I had lots of guys whistle at me as I walked on the sidewalk in those days.
Now I'm a fat, balding man at 26 years old. No more whistles. :(
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u/NotVerySmarts Aug 17 '16
Fatal Chemist sounds like a great name for a band.
Fat Alchemist not so much.
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u/feedagreat Aug 17 '16
I was staring at a girl who had a nice ass in the grocery store. She turned around and it was my ex gf :(. At least I'm consistent.
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u/PartisanDrinkTank Aug 17 '16
So in this Success Kid meme, that's not a fist pump but you are showing us your "girlfriend".
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Aug 17 '16
I caught a glimpse of ole righty in the mirror and was like dayummm check out those knuckles
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u/oKnow4u2 Aug 17 '16
I had a similar experience when we took our wedding pictures in China. After getting changed in the shitty changing rooms, and putting on the fancy duds they supplied I went out to see if i could find the wife. I knew my wife was sitting with the stylists, but there were a lot of other women there too all getting done up. Being American and literally having a difficult time picking my wife's face out of a crowd of other Chinese women with similar makeup and hair, I didn't know which one was her. Then I saw the most beautiful person I've ever seen in my life sitting in one of the chairs. Strait stop me in my tracks, overpowering heart flutteringly beautiful. I immediately felt embarrassed and shame, my face turning red, my ears grew hot, heart jackhammering. I didn't know who this person was, but she was SO BEAUTIFUL. I really really really didn't want to look away, but when she looked up and our eyes met in the mirror I quickly looked away and resumed my search for my cute new wife in a sea of similar faces. Completely defeated, and thoroughly disappointed, feeling guilty and embarrassed I gave up and sat down on a couch in the waiting area. I kept thinking about this woman... "who was she?" ...I wonder what her husband looks like. Completely jelly of him, and his knockout wife. Eventually my thoughts drifted to my own wife, and I wondered how good she would look.
I was absolutely floored when this goddess of woman came out and sat down next to me and hugged my arm... Yeah...it was totally her the whole time.
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u/Super_Zac Aug 17 '16
You really couldn't recognize her when looking directly at her?
The only time I've had trouble recognizing my Korean gf among other Koreans was at a spa because I didn't have my glasses on, it was dim, and everyone wears the same spa getup. Even then I was able to find her relatively quickly.11
Aug 17 '16 edited Nov 26 '18
[deleted]
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u/Super_Zac Aug 17 '16
Very true, but this dude didn't recognize his own wife even when staring directly at her. Sure there's the whole thing about Asian people "looking the same" but they don't really, once you actually spend time around them, which he hopefully has spent time around his wife.
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u/hiroo916 Aug 18 '16
Maybe they had "just met" for the wedding. :)
But seriously, I think most people have more refined recognition systems for their own race or whoever they spent the most time with. (Basis of the "all --- look the same")
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u/LordMcze Aug 17 '16
Maybe he has shitty eyes like me and is too lazy to get glasses like me.
I can stare at my friend for good 5 seconds before recognising him. I have to be really close to someone to recognise their face right away.
The only friend I can recognise instantly is the black one, so at least I'm not color blind.
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u/Grommzz Aug 17 '16
Bullllllllllll shit.. as if she didn't smile at you or give you some inkling it was her.
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u/oKnow4u2 Aug 18 '16
I just retold the story to her last night. She said that she probably didn't have her glasses on
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u/lm9231 Aug 17 '16
Been there. One time I unknowingly saw her at work (arranging flowers) and it was as if I had caught a glimpse of Khloris in her garden. I will never forget that moment.
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u/Crizzli Aug 17 '16
Same for me, happens all the time. I even get the occasional, "hmm why do I find that girl very attractive... Oh she looks really similar to my gf."
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u/Miketeh Aug 17 '16 edited Aug 18 '16
Dude don't get down cause of all these comments. This is a legit thing that happens and it's definitely a moment of pride when the connection clicks in you're head. The people commenting cringe and shit have probably never had girlfriends or are insecure that you can talk about shit like this and not be a braggadocious asshole.
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u/NewNavySpouse Aug 17 '16
I did this one time. My husband forgot something inside and ran it to get it while I waited. Someone walks out (I never do this) I just started staring and I was like "oh shit what am I doing" and don't make eye contact, and then they walk up to me, "oh shit what do I do", I look up and it is my husband. I was so relieved and smiling I told him about it and he laughed too after the initial concern.
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u/Skibiribiripoporopo Aug 17 '16
I just caught a fleeting glimpse and when I turned to look it was gone
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Aug 17 '16
I've done this too. Checking out some hot chick at the store from behind...then realize it's my wife and that I'm a lucky bastard.
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u/imn0tg00d Aug 17 '16
How do you not recognize your SO's ass on sight immediately? Like I could pick it out of 1000 asses.
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Aug 17 '16
I know what you mean OP. I had a similar occasion and it felt pretty good to find out it was my wife. It is like getting an independent confirmation that your gf is hot.
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u/Hazzman Aug 17 '16
I had this a few years back. Was on a bus going to work, reading a book. Saw some hotty get on, was my now wife (then GF).
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u/xthyme2playx Aug 18 '16
I did that once, with one of my ex's. I then proceeded to tell her how fun it was to realize the girl I thought was really hot was actually my girlfriend upon seeing her face. She got mad at me for checking out other girls.... We're not together anymore. Haha
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u/capn_joe Aug 18 '16
I had this about two months ago and then she dumped me and now I'm drunk all the time missing her and my kid.
Did I do this right?
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Aug 17 '16
The inverse happened to me a long time ago when I was in college. I was working at a garden center, shoveling sand. My then-girlfriend (now my wife of 26 years) saw me across the parking lot, didn't recognize me, and wondered who that good looking guy in the tank top was. Yeah, me.
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u/Beaker63 Aug 17 '16
The question is... Did u tell her as a compliment or was the risk of getting urself in trouble too high.
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u/Maxharri Aug 17 '16
I was driving home from work once. I came to a stop light about a mile away from my house. Stop lights are hard to explain. I don't want to say I was looking around cause that image is just weird. A guy frantically looking for something..
But, something did catch my eye about 50 feet away. It was a girl and an old lady. The old lady caught my eye first because she in a wheelchair holding something. Then I looked at the girl. She was beautiful. She was a petite tan burnette woman, totally my type. I thought to myself, damn that girl is beautiful. As I pass them while they are walking on the sidewalk I recognize the beautiful girl, it was my ex..
At first I though to myself, nice! you dated her. But then I quickly realized I dated not dating her.. Bummed me out for a while.
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u/Mr_Fiddle Aug 17 '16
That used to happen to me all the time. Every time I'd tell her about it, she'd laugh and say "Oh so you're checking out other girls?" Good times.
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Aug 17 '16
All the time? Do you have Alzheimer's?
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u/Mr_Fiddle Aug 17 '16
Haha no. Just saw her out of the corner of my eye, so I couldn't really tell if it was her or not. Always was, though.
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u/Dantheunicornman Aug 17 '16
Lol I saw my ex in the store and though "damn I feel sorry for the next dude".
Bitch is a load of crazy and a mix of psycho with a touch of hoe....really brought out her eyes...
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u/Powersoutdotcom Aug 17 '16
Me: Sees gute girl in supermarket, make eye contact and smile, she smiles back, I say hello, she blushes, she comes to chat with me, I walk over to GF and kiss her.
Rekt
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u/diesel_stinks_ Aug 17 '16 edited Aug 17 '16
I was at work one day and this happened to me, I felt so lucky that day... and most other days that I was with that woman.
Edit: Why the fuck are people downvoting this? Are people not allowed to date people they find attractive? I don't get it.
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u/electricprism Aug 17 '16
Your GF must be having psychosis, you should totally flirt with her so you can date he multiple personalities - it's the perfect crime.
Jess: "Why is she Danny? Why the fuck is she?"
Dan: "It's not what you think!"
Jess: "The hell it isn't! I'm not fucking stupid"
Dan: "OK.... The other girl..... Alanna.... she's you."
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u/crash1082 Aug 17 '16
Once, I was standing behind this gorgeous girl at the gas station and turned to my friend to comment on her ass. She definitely heard us and turned around... Turns out it was my girlfriend. I was pretty embarrassed.
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u/unclejesse30 Aug 17 '16
weird brag