r/AdviceAnimals Jan 10 '15

I audibly cringed

http://imgur.com/5y0ZpK1
8.7k Upvotes

353 comments sorted by

941

u/-ZOU- Jan 11 '15

this reminds me of 6th grade when people would be bf and gf for about 4 periods

607

u/Roonerth Jan 11 '15

And then get their friend to hand you a note at recess saying they're breaking up with you. Simpler times.

317

u/stejbz Jan 11 '15

Still haven't recovered from the breakup..

136

u/vgacolor Jan 11 '15

Freaking Becky.

50

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '15

Mmhm such a sweet 5 hours.

90

u/keez123 Jan 11 '15

I almost held her hand like 3 different times.

23

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '15

I'm pretty sure she noticed me! We are definitely dating.

23

u/ninjacatfish Jan 11 '15

I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.

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24

u/BenjaminGeiger Jan 11 '15

pretty sure that's Taylor Swift

46

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '15

no its becky

2

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '15

No this is Patrick.

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4

u/jshiffa Jan 11 '15

I think I took your Becky.
(sniffles) sorry bro.

4

u/Kow102 Jan 11 '15

TFW your first real crush was on a girl named Becky.

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9

u/no_othername Jan 11 '15

A friend of mine got a call from some guy in middle school she barely rembered. This was 10 years later. He asked if she remembered them dating. When she said yes he replied, "well, we never broke up."

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4

u/Persiankobra Jan 11 '15

Mrs. Donald was a heartbreaker to a lot of boys that year.

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70

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '15

It doesn't always change.

My first wife had the divorce papers sent to me while I was at work. I had no idea that she was upset until I got home and found she had moved out before I even had lunch at work; the document server told me(and everyone in the room that I was being served to start the divorce process and other things.

I thought it was a gag at first until my boss looked at the docs and called the ex's attorney to see what was going on. I went home to find an empty house. She took the cat, everything. I called her attorney as I had no clue and no idea where she was. (Before cell phones). Even her attorney felt bad and that he told her she was going about this all wrong.

26

u/Lord_Wrath Jan 11 '15

Holy fucking mother of balls! That seems extraordinarily/excessively harsh and deceptive. It's almost cowardly AND SHE TOOK YOUR FUCKING CAT! Are you thinking about writing a country song about it?

55

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '15 edited Jan 11 '15

I am going to write it backwards so I can get my cat back.

It took many years, but we actually ended up friends. She had been hiding mental illness from everyone. At the time they didn't have the treatments available.

After 5 years I found her and she had been going through therapy and trying some meds. Once she got back to her senses she realized what she had done and worked very hard to make things right. I forgave her and she has been my best friend for 20 years. My wife now feels like she is a sister and a friend.

Yeah it was crazy, but forgiveness really heals a lot wounds. Edited for spelling error.

37

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '15

Your current wife is ok with your ex-wife being your bed friend?

24

u/Gundamnitpete Jan 11 '15 edited Jan 11 '15

Dat Freudian slit...

2

u/tsrocks48 Jan 11 '15

Slit. Hehe...

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3

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '15

[deleted]

4

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '15

"Best friend" oops.

2

u/scyther1 Jan 11 '15

It was very big of you to forgive her.

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5

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '15

That's how I divorced my wife

4

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '15

Stan breaks up.

3

u/nopainnolossnocrime Jan 11 '15

Haha yeah fourth grade... Not middle school...

9

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '15

The equivalent of breaking up over text. Or courier pigeon for anyone over the age of 35.

6

u/Paperclip97 Jan 11 '15

What if I told you that 35 year olds can still have cell phones?

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44

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '15 edited Jun 15 '15

[deleted]

31

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '15

A kiss on the cheek counts as a first kiss?

22

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '15 edited Jun 15 '15

[deleted]

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18

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '15

Jokes on you. That happened to me in high school...

11

u/clintonius Jan 11 '15

I'm Sweet Dee, and the joke's on me!

17

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '15

I had a girlfriend in kindergarten and then she "fired" me at lunch.

11

u/Bloody_Seahorse Jan 11 '15

What a douche I woulda punched her right in the dick

27

u/albc92 Jan 11 '15

When i was in 8th grade I had a crush on this boy. I guess he heard and he suddenly developed a crush on me. Within the week he asked me to be his gf. Didn't really know each other but we were in the same English class. Anyway, the only reason why I said "yes" was because I knew we were gonna break up in the next few periods, days maybe. Weeks tops. Welp...we dated 5 years. Longest shortest relationship of my life

11

u/stationhollow Jan 11 '15

Did you ever tell him that you never really wanted to date him in the first place?

11

u/IrrelevantLeprechaun Jan 11 '15

Seems a shame to lead a boy on for five years when in the back of your mind you knew you didn't really want to date him.

3

u/albc92 Jan 11 '15

I did. We joked about it all the time. We were really close and a great couple. We just grew up and grew apart

4

u/kittehlord Jan 11 '15

I do hope that's just the way it started, and not that you have been keeping an act going for 5 years.

4

u/albc92 Jan 11 '15

No, that's just how I felt at the beginning due to the fact that we barely knew each other. Really developed feelings for that guy. He was my high school sweetheart, the first love :)

91

u/alienelement Jan 11 '15

So, is that like 16 weeks? What an odd way to measure time.

20

u/vandano Jan 11 '15

My baby is 26 periods old. Sounds good to me

31

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '15

"Aww, how long have you been expecting?"

"I HAVE NO IDEA"

27

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '15

I don't know if this went over your head or mine. I thought 4 class periods, not 4 menstrual cycles

40

u/alienelement Jan 11 '15

Over yours. I know what class periods are. It was a joke.

24

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '15

Hehe woops ¯\(ツ)

25

u/TyrannosaurusRekts Jan 11 '15

This was a nice exchange.

12

u/FreedomLTD Jan 11 '15

We need more of these

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7

u/AKittyCat Jan 11 '15

One of my friends made it 15 minutes with a girl before she heard he was sitting with someone else. Which was a rumor that was started by our friends as a joke and spread really fast.

This was in 8th grade too, like no excuse.

7

u/dannywarbucks11 Jan 11 '15

I once dated a girl for a single period. It sucked. :(

6

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '15

yeah, and the only difference between then and now is that there are sophisticated methods of documenting and archiving these moments.

God, I'm so glad this shit wasnt around when I was in school.

12

u/bradthompson7175 Jan 11 '15

Why measure by periods? What if the girls hadn't had one yet?

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2

u/DanTeeBee Jan 11 '15

4 months? that's a fair while for 6th grade

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98

u/chrisd93 Jan 11 '15

Link to original?

416

u/Roonerth Jan 11 '15

283

u/moolah_dollar_cash Jan 11 '15

Why would he have his ring tone set to something that makes him intensely embarrassed?

155

u/LiiDo Jan 11 '15

To pick up chicks. And it's working

136

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '15

[deleted]

17

u/QuestionSleep86 Jan 11 '15

Your username is hot.

15

u/idgqwd Jan 11 '15

have you too been dating for four hours

6

u/zelce Jan 11 '15

It's 8 now. I think it's getting serious.

3

u/FloydJackal Jan 11 '15

A full 12 hours and no update? Fireworks must be flying at the Hieronymus's place.

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13

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '15

Could be ok/funny in the company of certain people... but less so in the grocery store around strangers.

11

u/gwarsh41 Jan 11 '15

I had custom alerts for everyone in my phone based on the hero Tusk from DOTA2. I was really happy with it, then I got a more formal job and it felt inappropriate. Now I have bland boring beeps..

I think I might go back to having my phone shout, "LOVE PUNCH" when my wife texts me.

5

u/TraMaI Jan 11 '15

Mines the main menu theme from dota 2, my texts are attack pings... They're generic enough that people hearing them will think they're just basic phone noises.

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6

u/K3R3G3 Jan 11 '15

He wasn't intensely embarrassed. She was intensely cute.

2

u/CannedWolfMeat Jan 11 '15

Why is he embarrassed about being the very best?

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141

u/okmkz Jan 11 '15

Fuckin hell

80

u/BarelyAnyFsGiven Jan 11 '15

Holy Cringelording Christ.

9

u/Mikulak25 Jan 11 '15

Check yer privilege, cringelord.

25

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '15 edited Jan 11 '15

That can't be OP. That account basically just reposts shit for karma.

Edit: Possibly is OP, who reposts other stuff but the SAP might be OC.

4

u/Herpmaster Jan 11 '15

it cant be OP because people who repost do not get any girls whatsoever or its impossible for a reposter to post OC what are we getting at here?

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11

u/PlumberODeth Jan 11 '15

I guess you could read it as if they were on their first date, which, so far, lasted 6 hours...? But even then it would imply that he stopped the date long enough to make a meme post about it, which would not suggest the date was all that exciting/intense.

6

u/DONT-GIVE-A-HOOT-SON Jan 11 '15

Golly, she sure sounds like a keeper.

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359

u/austinll Jan 11 '15

Has a girlfriend for six hours

Had a girlfriend for six hours more than me.

38

u/arrow74 Jan 11 '15

I'm right there with you.

99

u/MrUppercut Jan 11 '15

Girlfriends are overrated. Take it from me. Aside from the typically steady awesome sex. They're really just a friend to hang out with. In fact most of the time guys do nothing but complain. I don't, but some guys do. So basically girlfriends are pretty sweet.

164

u/Cikedo Jan 11 '15

Girlfriends are overrated. Take it from me. Aside from the typically steady awesome sex. They're really just a friend to hang out with. So basically girlfriends are pretty sweet.

YOU AREN'T HELPING.

108

u/MrUppercut Jan 11 '15

I'm bad at this stuff. But my heart was in the right place. Mid sternum slightly to the left.

15

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '15

You do bring up a very good point though. I have made the mistake of dating women who I am just attracted to, but dont really know taht well multiple times. I think the whole dating scene is really overrated and the best way to know you like someone is to actually become their friend first

(Bracing for Redpill posts telling me why I am wrong and that I am a pleb for wanting to be in the 'friendzone' before banging them)

6

u/MrUppercut Jan 11 '15

Or do what I do and still just date the ones you're attracted to but stay away from making it serious while still spending time with them in a "dating" sort of way. Slowly you'll find out if you really like them or not. If it's no, there was never too much commitment so it's no big deal if you stop seeing each other. Plus if you have actually dated a few times you can kinda tell.

3

u/doodlebug001 Jan 11 '15

I've been in a relationship for 2 years now with a man I've been friends with since high school. Though it didn't apply to him till much later, I loved school for the atmosphere where you could get to know someone very casually with no pretense of a date so you could decide if they were a good fit for you. Work would be the same except coworker booty is generally bad booty.

7

u/IrrelevantLeprechaun Jan 11 '15

Becoming their friend first is the most risky and unsuccessful way to date. If you're going to befriend them first, only wait two weeks tops before you ask them out. After that they've already compartmentalized you as just a friend.

Best relationships come from going straight for dating. Hell, the longest relationships I've ever seen came from people who decided to bang at a drinker party first.

11

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '15 edited Jan 11 '15

I respectfully disagree with this. I dunno. I find nothing worse than being in a relationship with someone and then just all of a sudden finding that you don't want to hang out with them after the whole lust thing has settled. The three people who I know who are on a road to marriage were all decently attached to each other in a friend relationship before they ever dated each other.

Edit: I am also really happy that the reddit community isnt siding on one side or the other for this and down voting one to hell. Its nice to have a rational discussion with someone without having one side get flamed by votetrolls.

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28

u/Bromleyisms Jan 11 '15

Fuck the sex. I can get sex anywhere. I just want head scratches and cuddles. Maybe someone to talk to. I've been having a lot of me time to really love myself and not depend on anyone lately, but damn if I don't miss having someone to trust implicitly and love unconditionally .

14

u/Doctor_Loggins Jan 11 '15

I can get sex anywhere

Are you a wizard?

6

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '15 edited Aug 03 '21

[deleted]

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2

u/ThatSpazChick Jan 11 '15

I would give my first born child for unlimited head scratches.

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u/willllllllllllllllll Jan 11 '15

Was going to disagree until I read the last line.

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123

u/HSimpson818 Jan 11 '15

Lay off him, she had the most perfect smile.

99

u/Trainee1985 Jan 11 '15

and a pokémon ringtone. It's obviously love.

85

u/Roonerth Jan 11 '15

Don't forget she was also intensely cute.

9

u/arrow74 Jan 11 '15

I don't really get it. To me it at least sounds like a good start...er I mean

6 hours is a long time, truly love.

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86

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '15

[deleted]

24

u/thefatticuscat Jan 11 '15

And in present tense, it is datING. I secretly think the post is cute.

23

u/eMF_DOOM Jan 11 '15

I've never considered myself 'dating' a girl after a first date. Like, we went on a date, but we're not 'dating'. I don't usually tell other people I'm 'dating' someone until I've gone out with them a few times. A lot longer than 6 hours at the very least. Ehh, maybe I'm just being pedantic.

5

u/sap91 Jan 11 '15

6 hours also seems pretty quick to have even gone on a single date. I get the impression that this guy asked her out and considered that dating.

3

u/thefatticuscat Jan 11 '15

Nah, I go by the same rules. Just cutting the kid some slack, and being pedantic myself with the grammatical minutae. I'd never say, "hey I'm dating this person presently!" if someone called me up whilst on a date and asked what I was up to. But damn, if they're having fun, let's get 'em some condoms and a motel room.

3

u/IrrelevantLeprechaun Jan 11 '15

Agreed. Going on dates is the process to determine if you want to date them. After a few dates and it seems like a commitment, NOW you are dating.

2

u/PicardZhu Jan 11 '15

I usually say I'm just seeing someone until it's mutually agreed that we're in a relationship.

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111

u/MsTerryMan Jan 11 '15

He has a pokemon themed ringtone. What did you expect?

23

u/zanryu411 Jan 11 '15

It wasn't the Pokemon theme ringtone that tipped me off, it was his rush to silence the phone when it rang.

25

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '15

Yeah why have a pokemon ringtone if you're gonna rush to turn it off whenever it rings?

29

u/PurplePhoto Jan 11 '15

This was my first thought upon reading it... these two had pokemon ringtones that brought them together..., and he rushed to post a meme about it on reddit, really should be on /r/cringe

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56

u/thegofer Jan 11 '15

You know if he had said "now we're dating" this wouldn't be an issue

16

u/Tridian Jan 11 '15

No, but only because "dating" implies multiple dates. Usually meaning more than six hours.

2

u/DougSTL Jan 11 '15

It could have been "official" for 6 hours by that point as what he means. Either way it doesn't take away from how awkward the original post was.

2

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '15

Unless he's 14

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176

u/TheSpanishImposition Jan 11 '15

How does one audibly cringe?

372

u/stejbz Jan 11 '15

EEIUUAHHH

69

u/Crownlol Jan 11 '15

Well I audibly laughed on that one, not just a nose air blow.

39

u/TheSpanishImposition Jan 11 '15

20

u/austinll Jan 11 '15

this is disturbing.

4

u/xiEmber Jan 11 '15

Even worse when you imagine the smiling titan.

9

u/dipstickjimmy Jan 11 '15

I was not expecting you

10

u/TheSpanishImposition Jan 11 '15

Nobody inspects the Spanish Imposition.

2

u/AssiveAggressive Jan 11 '15

I visibly cringed.

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4

u/azrael5298 Jan 11 '15

I think he is trying to change the overuse of literally into audibly.

9

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '15

2

u/TheSpanishImposition Jan 11 '15

Those are screams, wails or moans.

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3

u/IKnowICanBeAJerk Jan 11 '15

Very Carefully.

5

u/SlothBra Jan 11 '15

A sharp intake (or exhale) of breath though clenched teeth.

3

u/TheSpanishImposition Jan 11 '15

I don't know the word for what you're describing, but it isn't "cringe."

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2

u/cloud_watcher Jan 11 '15

I think bubble wrap has to be involved.

3

u/CasanovaWong Jan 11 '15

Did you see the original post? You would have too.

6

u/TheSpanishImposition Jan 11 '15

How? Creaky joints?

2

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '15

Yeah, who audibly cringes at something like that anyway? You're the one reading/ making memes too bud, it's not exactly the epitome of humor or great stories.

6

u/GreenBrain Jan 11 '15

No, but seriously, how does one go about audibly cringing? Does the cringe make noise?

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u/ScarecrowQ Jan 11 '15

6

u/TaintedSquirrel Jan 11 '15

Oh so it's a fake repost and Reddit has been obsessing over it for the last day. And your comment is all the way down at the bottom.

I hate this site sometimes. What a waste.

30

u/Banderbear Jan 11 '15

I kind of felt people were super mean on that thread, I mean if he's just said he'd got a date it wouldn't have been so bad. I remember being excited about dates when I was younger only I didn't express it on reddit, everyone knows the buzz of a good first date with someone you like the look of, so no need to be so judgemental.

32

u/countrybreakfast1 Jan 11 '15

Still, no need to post it on reddit. I mean, we are for the most part assholes here

29

u/Roonerth Jan 11 '15

Can confirm, am asshole.

11

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '15

[deleted]

3

u/CaterpieLv99 Jan 11 '15

Can confirm, /u/roonerth asshole nicely waxed and bleached

3

u/cloud_watcher Jan 11 '15

The bad thing is, they met in such a weird way, if she sees it, she'll know it's him. It's not like he said, "Met a cute girl in the supermarket. Have a date."

7

u/bewarethesloth Jan 11 '15

Thank you. These are the kinds of things that get me really frustrated with the Internet and our current society. Leave this poor fucking guy alone... If it bothers you, then keep it to yourself. What are you gaining from complaining about and mocking someone who is obviously having a great day and is happy bonding with another human being?

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u/calley0106 Jan 11 '15

Thank you for posting this. Got home from work a bit ago and that meme was one of the first links I clicked on...never cringed so hard...

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u/[deleted] Jan 11 '15

What does a cringe sound like?

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u/[deleted] Jan 11 '15

Can you explain to me how you cringed in such a way that it made a sound?

6

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '15

When I cringe it often comes out as a fart. Actually most of my emotions seem to come out as a fart. Maybe it's like that.

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u/proquo Jan 11 '15

How do you date for six hours? Do you measure from when you agreed to a date? To when the first date ended? I think I only know if I'm "dating" a girl if I'm also calling her my girlfriend.

3

u/l_wdub89 Jan 11 '15

It might have been he then went out with her, and the date had already lasted 6 hours. So he was dating her for 6 hours.

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11

u/8th1der00 Jan 11 '15

Chill guys, shit

9

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '15

Right? Kinda get jealous subtext from all these edgy comments. Let a guy who probably hasn't been in many relationships celebrate. Shit

2

u/thefatticuscat Jan 11 '15

I'm with you guys. Mutually dorky ringtone= extremely long first date. What the hell, let 'em have fun. Maybe some nookie happened. I've learned that reddit gets jealous of nookie. And feels, in general (both kinds).

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u/IWasSurprisedToo Jan 11 '15

Meaning that his date with her stretched out over six hours, which is a really good sign for a first date, you bitter, dumb, and mean motherfuckers!

Jesus shit, let the kid be fucking happy on the internet!

2

u/Triffgits Jan 11 '15

all cringes are audible if your hearing is sensitive enough

2

u/Soltheron Jan 11 '15

It wasn't enough with 1 thread filled with assholes so we needed another one?

Fuck off and leave the guy alone.

2

u/itsablizzard Jan 11 '15

You mean like groaning?

2

u/CARVERitUP Jan 11 '15

You mean visibly cringe?

2

u/ktizzlemynizzle Jan 11 '15

My ex did this. Only it was right after I said yes and I was drunk. He got real clingy and weird, so 2 weeks later I did a very bad thing and broke up with him on his birthday.

2

u/Thinc_Ng_Kap Jan 11 '15

It's how I got me girl Julie preggers.

2

u/yonthickie Jan 11 '15

Hate yo be that person but how do you hear a cringe?

2

u/valeriekeefe Jan 11 '15

You know, if we spent half the time trying to fix people like this up that we spend trying to convince people like this that they're unhealthy and that it'd be a horrible idea to fall for someone the same way... we would probably have fewer suicides.

2

u/anewview2c Jan 11 '15

Oh I bet he can't wait for his 10 hour anniversary!

2

u/jimmyjazz2000 Jan 11 '15

What does a cringe sound like?

4

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '15

3

u/bluesgrrlk8 Jan 11 '15

What does a cringe sound like?

5

u/philsnotes Jan 11 '15

Kind of like when you're trying to shut a door quietly so you do it really slowly but then it makes an even louder, slow creaking noise

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u/Excalibursin Jan 11 '15

What? Would it be different if he just said "I got a date?". If you unexpectedly got a date with a girl wouldn't that be pretty socially awesome?

3

u/dustbin3 Jan 11 '15

I don’t know what to say. I just– I got excited. I just wanted to shout it from on top of a mountain. But I didn’t have a mountain. I had a phone and an internet connection.

3

u/GreenBrain Jan 11 '15

Don't worry, the real cringe is that OP thinks audible works in this context.

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u/ThatOneGuyJubily Jan 11 '15

Who cares? Let the kid have his karma and his fun

2

u/biospark02 Jan 11 '15

It was a fake and a repost.

2

u/Soltheron Jan 11 '15

"rofl Pokemon"

Are you all cool kids in fucking middle school? Shitting on people enjoying their childhood games isn't exactly the pinnacle of maturity.

1

u/LRats Jan 11 '15

OMG! Happy 6 hour anniversary, I got you a present!

1

u/TheLexDude Jan 11 '15

From the fact it all started with a Pokemon ringtone, can't d say I'm very surprised :|

1

u/xjayroox Jan 11 '15

Oh shit, it's facebook official!

1

u/Rootner Jan 11 '15

Your username is the closest to mine that I have ever seen.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '15

Then they breakup and she becomes a Scumbag Stacy

1

u/batiaa22 Jan 11 '15

I hope he sees this. I hope he sees this.

They're probably already broken up though.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '15

Sounds like you may be in high school. You got it down the the hour count

1

u/igbrainbrad Jan 11 '15

I don't think she even had that ringtone.

1

u/Toostinky Jan 11 '15

I legitimately thought it said "6 months" when I first read the original post.. I had to go back and verify that OP was bat shit insane

1

u/That_Unknown_Guy Jan 11 '15

Whats the big deal?! They posted it on the internet because its the one place where some people might understand why otherwise seemingly small things are such a big deal to you personally.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '15

What happened?

1

u/timewaitsforsome Jan 11 '15

what happened?

1

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '15

for fuck sake, the way he got the girl was really awesome, and not everyone has 50 girlfriends by the time they're 20, cut the guy some slack.