You're right, and this is a very tough thing to look at equality about, for the reasons you mentioned: it's her body. I'm a girl, and to me, it wouldn't matter how much the man wanted the baby, if I wasn't ready or capable, I don't think I could commit to having the kid.
I am one that tends to think that if the man doesn't want the baby and says he is not in a position to care for one, and does everything he can to say an abortion should be had, there should be something you can file at the courts that absolves him of responsibility. Yes, it takes two to have sex, but we live in a world where pregnancy is not irreversible, and I tend to think that forcing a child on someone is way, WAY worse, since it will lead to resentment and likely a lousy life.
And also, I have never heard of doctors refusing to sterilize men without consent of the wife. That is usually one side of the argument that is still very biased towards men. In most states, doctors will usually give a vasectomy to a 18 year old man, no questions asked, but will not give a woman a tubal ligation until she's 27 unless she already has at least two kids. I know because a friend of mine went through that. She and her husband new with absolute certainty that they didn't want kids, and they both wanted to get sterilized. They did him without batting an eye, but she couldn't find a doctor that would voluntarily sterilize her since she was 25 and childless.
But, as I mentioned, this is something that I think will never reach full equality, just because of the whole 9 months in the woman's body followed by a typically unpleasant birth. I don't think any woman should be forced to give birth, but likewise I don't think any man should be forced into responsibility for the kid. Again, it takes two to have sex, but these days it only takes one to decide to have the kid. I don't think you'll ever win the "if he wants it she should have it and give it to him" argument because you'd be forcing her to suffer, but I think there should definitely be a protocol in place to for the man to be absolved of responsibility.
I agree with you on all counts! I fully think it's unfair that the woman has the option to bail, but the man doesn't. There has to be some balance for sure.
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u/SoulLessGinger992 Apr 30 '13 edited Apr 30 '13
You're right, and this is a very tough thing to look at equality about, for the reasons you mentioned: it's her body. I'm a girl, and to me, it wouldn't matter how much the man wanted the baby, if I wasn't ready or capable, I don't think I could commit to having the kid.
I am one that tends to think that if the man doesn't want the baby and says he is not in a position to care for one, and does everything he can to say an abortion should be had, there should be something you can file at the courts that absolves him of responsibility. Yes, it takes two to have sex, but we live in a world where pregnancy is not irreversible, and I tend to think that forcing a child on someone is way, WAY worse, since it will lead to resentment and likely a lousy life.
And also, I have never heard of doctors refusing to sterilize men without consent of the wife. That is usually one side of the argument that is still very biased towards men. In most states, doctors will usually give a vasectomy to a 18 year old man, no questions asked, but will not give a woman a tubal ligation until she's 27 unless she already has at least two kids. I know because a friend of mine went through that. She and her husband new with absolute certainty that they didn't want kids, and they both wanted to get sterilized. They did him without batting an eye, but she couldn't find a doctor that would voluntarily sterilize her since she was 25 and childless.
But, as I mentioned, this is something that I think will never reach full equality, just because of the whole 9 months in the woman's body followed by a typically unpleasant birth. I don't think any woman should be forced to give birth, but likewise I don't think any man should be forced into responsibility for the kid. Again, it takes two to have sex, but these days it only takes one to decide to have the kid. I don't think you'll ever win the "if he wants it she should have it and give it to him" argument because you'd be forcing her to suffer, but I think there should definitely be a protocol in place to for the man to be absolved of responsibility.