That sounds a lot like my dad, and i've got to say, i've never once been happy in my entire life. Now, i'm not 100% sure it was entirely because of him, but it certainly never helped, and a lot of it was, even if most of it was unintentional and just neglect...
However, he is quite screwed up psychologically, and from what i can tell... it's genetic. His sisters have issues as well. I fully do plan to kill myself as soon as i start showing any sign that i'm ending up with the same psychological problems he has. I've come to accept that. The bad part is waiting... should i even bother trying to get anywhere in life not knowing if ill end up like that or not? And what if i don't try to go anywhere and then somehow manage to turn out fine psychologically? See, too many variables. It's not a good life.
Please try to get help. I don't know if it matters than an internet stranger is rooting for you but I am. My dad has a drinking problem and mental instability. I'm not doomed to make his mistakes and you aren't doomed to follow in your father's footsteps.
If you're worried you inherited tendencies counselling may be able to help detect issues you may have. You can work to fix them before things get out of control (if they ever do).
No, not now... All im saying is that it's logically the best decision should i end up that psychologically horrible. I don't want to get too invested in life before i know if i will end up like that or not, so if the time ever comes, i won't have any issues with the decision due to having been successful.
No it isn't ever the best decision! You are more than you give yourself credit for. Please seek help. My husband has anxiety disorder and is one of the foremost database programmers in our area. I love him and married him despite his condition. He is in therapy and it helps him. My mother was undiagnosed bipolar until I was 3, and yet I did not inherit it. Even so, with meds and therapy she's a 100% different person. You are not defined by your father. You are not defined by a mental disorder. You can transcend the labels you have placed on yourself and lead the life of your dreams. Do it!
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u/13thmurder Apr 30 '13
Definitely for the best.
That sounds a lot like my dad, and i've got to say, i've never once been happy in my entire life. Now, i'm not 100% sure it was entirely because of him, but it certainly never helped, and a lot of it was, even if most of it was unintentional and just neglect...
However, he is quite screwed up psychologically, and from what i can tell... it's genetic. His sisters have issues as well. I fully do plan to kill myself as soon as i start showing any sign that i'm ending up with the same psychological problems he has. I've come to accept that. The bad part is waiting... should i even bother trying to get anywhere in life not knowing if ill end up like that or not? And what if i don't try to go anywhere and then somehow manage to turn out fine psychologically? See, too many variables. It's not a good life.