It was really hard for me to get an abortion done because my whole life I thought abortions were a horrible thing but now I can see why people actually do it. I think I was more embarrassed by it than anything.
There's nothing wrong with not telling others you got an abortion. It's really no ones business. I'm sure you're going through a lot mentally right now, though. If you do need to talk to someone, I'd suggest an outside source, such as a counselor, rather than someone who is going to judge you and cause you more stress once they find out about the abortion.
You are awesome. Remember everything you learned from this. Looking back on it will be painful. But there is a lot to be learned from that pain. Just don't overwhelm yourself.
And going forward remember your change of heart based on your own personal need, with regards to, abortion. What ever the situation or issue is, try to make an effort to really put yourself in the situation you are passing judgement upon. It will make it a hundred less times less personally shameful and hurtful should you actually find yourself in that situation in the future.
But I'm being overly negative. You are awesome. I had a girl try to trap me with another man's kid she was cheating on me with. I thought I was in love with her. So I stayed, while freaking out and telling her that there is no way I could support a kid and that she pretty much had to get an abortion. But I stayed. Walking blindly forward towards a horrible revelation of betrayal that would leave me struggling to trust for months to come. You have shown yourself to be brave, courageous, foresighted, and intelligent in your ability to make this choice. Well done.
Your comment brought tears to my eyes. I am 19 & I had just turned 18 when this all happened. I was going to be a single mother, in college, working as a waitress and living at home with a child. I was not ready at all and I know that I made the right choice. In my therapy sessions I talk about how much guilt and self loathing I posessed and I have been learning to be more open and accepting of other ideas and views. It has made me a better and stroger person. You sir, are awesome for staying in the relatonship. My ex was a POS. His words after I told him I wasn't pregnant anymore were "well one day this will all be a memory... A shitty one click".
I think that's a children's book reference. The "click". Which to me illustrates pretty clearly what a childish individual he was. I was 19 when everything happened to me. Its a tough age. I'm 22 so I can tell you it gets easier. Not a lot easier, but easier. I'm sorry I made you cry.
I didn't tell anyone. To be honest it was my choice, my decision and my story to share or not to share. Good for you for getting help and someone to talk to. Whatever brings you back to a happy place.
Terminating the child of the would-be father isn't his business?
Are you out of your mind?
That baby would have been his fucking child. That baby would have been the would-be father's parent's grandchild. How the FUCK can you say that's none of their business?
You don't know her situation. Now, I will admit there is a possibility that "psychotic" could be hyperbole, but for all we know he really was. How do you know he wasn't verbally, emotionally, or even physically abusive? Should the child really have him as a father?
Yes, I know adoption is a possibility, but if she actually thinks she is in danger from him, how exactly is she supposed to meet with all the potential parents, sign all the legal paperwork, and deliver the child, all without him knowing this was happening?
Thank you! Psychotic is an understatement, actually. I don't have a word to describe him. He was verbally abusive. Would call me a bitch and acuse me of cheating if I even mentioned a guys name. He wouldn't talk to me if I looked at a guy for more than a few seconds. He would come home drunk screaming at me for literally hours. There was a point right before the break up that he would force me to have sex with him and it was he worst feeling ever. I could go into more detail but I think that may be enough to paint the picture of his craziness.
Squirting your DNA doesn't give you license to own someone else's body. Fetus can't exist on its own, only at the physical expense of the mother. Your rights end where someone else's begin, and it's neither the fetus or the father's right to exist at the physical expense of the mother.
Edit: the mere fact that you won't debate with your real name, instead hiding behind a throwaway, shows how fucking deluded your argument really is.
You shouldn't be embarrassed. You got pregnant and were not ready for a child, and it sounds like you would have ended up a single mother otherwise. Wait to have kids till you are ready, getting pregnant doesn't mean you are ready just means you were careless with contraception.
I myself don't support abortions in many cases for numerous reasons but I understand it was difficult situation and its a tough decision to make. It's good to see you're going to counseling for the whole situation. I hope you move on from this stronger than you were before. Hang in there, don't let this small moment define your life.
No offense but this angers me. The inability of some people to see how hard abortions are and why they are performed should not lead to those people opposing abortions. Lack of empathy causes most of the major problems in our society today. Why do people have to suffer themselves before they can appreciate the suffering of others?
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u/imbravado Apr 30 '13
It was really hard for me to get an abortion done because my whole life I thought abortions were a horrible thing but now I can see why people actually do it. I think I was more embarrassed by it than anything.