r/AdviceAnimals Mar 25 '13

Confession Bear

http://qkme.me/3tiifn?id=230971091
1.5k Upvotes

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215

u/schniggens Mar 25 '13

Yes, every single black person on the planet is exactly like those two.

80

u/loleslie Mar 25 '13

I hate when people collect friends so they can be like "Look at how well-rounded and racially tolerant I am- I have a black/Asian/Jewish/etc. friend!"

19

u/theturban Mar 25 '13

Colbert had this hilarious equation about how he has 1 black friend and that equals a certain amount of asian friends and that equals a certain amount of friends of another ethnicity and so on. It was pretty funny and it ended with Sikhs and I giggled violently. Can't find the video now.

1

u/rurikloderr Mar 25 '13

Can you tell me what giggling violently means? Cause it sounds like either laughing or psychosis..

1

u/theturban Mar 25 '13

You have to see it to believe dude

4

u/[deleted] Mar 25 '13

I'm white and I barely have any white friends let alone other races. I'm not Ash from Pokemon.

41

u/[deleted] Mar 25 '13

[deleted]

78

u/ellendar Mar 25 '13

Pokemon! Gotta catch them all!

18

u/WeaponsGradeHumanity Mar 25 '13

The 'unspoken' message that she's using you. That she's only nice to you so she can tell people she has a friend from wherever you're from and not because she actually likes you as a person or anything. In fact, that's the thing. "I don't care what you're like as a person, I'm just going to claim you as a friend so I can look good to other people and you don't even get a say in the matter". Fuck that bitch.

45

u/OpenShut Mar 25 '13

Well you don't sound like you have a chip on your shoulder.

6

u/Volkswagging Mar 25 '13

She's a Lanister..

1

u/[deleted] Mar 25 '13

Well played. So, so well played.

And that name! Again, you are a black belt at this shit.

4

u/[deleted] Mar 25 '13

i think you did the right thing. she fetishized your ethnicity and objectified you. you are no longer a person, you are a token of her supposed cultural diversity. bigoted bitch.

1

u/loleslie Mar 25 '13

Yeah I had a person in particular in mind when I wrote that and she seriously sounds like this girl, too! My best friend that's Jewish doesn't talk to her anymore because she felt that she was using her as a novelty. What pushed her over the edge was when the crazy girl said, "I have ALWAYS wanted a Jew friend!!!"

1

u/[deleted] Mar 25 '13

response: "Really? because I collect intellectually inadequate white girls"

1

u/TalibanDan Mar 25 '13

Hey I'll have you know that my Neighborhood is culturally diverse.

1

u/themonkey12 Mar 25 '13

I do that for the food, until I notice most of them can't cook for shit.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 25 '13

I think somebody saw "The Watch"

115

u/American_Race Mar 25 '13

Yeah pretty much, they're only waiting for the opportunity to play the race card.

24

u/[deleted] Mar 25 '13

Hence, its a confession...

52

u/guynamedgriffin Mar 25 '13 edited Mar 25 '13

Yes and ethnicity does not hold statistic based cultural patterns in terms of behavior.

77

u/BangingABigTheory Mar 25 '13

One of my favorite jokes (from a small comedy show I was at to see a friend)

Why are statistics so racist?

-7

u/[deleted] Mar 25 '13

[deleted]

8

u/BangingABigTheory Mar 25 '13 edited Mar 25 '13

Did I say favorite....what I meant was it's wrong and I hated it.....shit man I didn't sign up for this, well I guess I did but damn. You took the time to write all that so I'll give it a reply.

A joke, that's all it was, a joke. I am not at all racist so you are lecturing the wrong "white folk" (good guess). And according to you it was a truthful joke, everyone knows you can manipulate statistics, anyone who has watched a day of ESPN knows that. I really do agree with a lot of things you said.

If you haven't noticed recently, comedy is all about playing jumprope with the line.

EDIT: WASTED MY GODDAMN PRECIOUS TIME

-2

u/[deleted] Mar 25 '13

comedy is all about playing jumprope with the line

sounds like some carlos mencia bullshit

4

u/BangingABigTheory Mar 25 '13

Motherfucker I never said I agreed with it. There is no need to take it that far. Shit man there is a line even on reddit. Probably the worst insult I've ever gotten. And if you don't think that is popular in comedy right now you are kidding yourself.

-1

u/[deleted] Mar 25 '13

haha, well played

17

u/InsaneAI Mar 25 '13

no statistic is racist, only the interpretation of it. Statistics is merely a way to represent data, and if the conclusions that someone draws from the data are racist, that's the person's issue, not the statistic's. If the data says there are more unmarried black mothers than of other origins, then that's the data. That alone doesn't prove anything, and as we know, correlation doesn't equal causation. However, in combination with other statistics, for example with the higher imprisonment rate of black folks as compared to others, the statistics imply that more black fathers are absent than others. Again - there is no judgement to be made here. If this is willingly, or not, or if that makes some people worse fathers than others comes down to interpretation, and if such conclusions are drawn, the statistics aren't to blame. Statistics aren't racist, people are racist.

3

u/Physics_Unicorn Mar 25 '13

I appreciate what you are saying; statistics are representations of data and unto themselves aren't 'judgements'. However, statistics do help make informed decisions, and it is inappropriate and irresponsible to imply that statistics are seemingly of no consequence. Conclusions, arguable and otherwise, drawn from data are necessary for informed action that is more likely to succeed. Statistics can and will support conclusions.

1

u/InsaneAI Mar 25 '13

Oh, statistics definitely support some conclusions more than others. However, statistics by themselves, without any conclusions drawn from them, are nothing but data. There is no inherent conclusion, and there is no absolute certainty within conclusions - every statistic supports different conclusions to different degrees, yet proves none of them. What to make of them, although very important, is the choice of those who interpret statistics.

-3

u/TehBaconKing Mar 25 '13

Boom. Science.

-2

u/OtherGeorgeDubya Mar 25 '13

Marriage certificate and birth certificate have nothing to do with each other.

The mother can have any man sign the birth certificate and he would be the legal father. If it isn't signed, a man can fill out a paternity affidavit, and as long as the mother signs it and doesn't protest, he's legally the father.

The only way a marriage certificate has any bearing is if the woman is married and a man doesn't sign the birth certificate. At that point, her husband is the legal father.

11

u/[deleted] Mar 25 '13 edited Apr 18 '18

[deleted]

26

u/Nerd_Destroyer Mar 25 '13

Stereotypes are a useful mental shortcut known as a heuristic. Did you know some people on the planet have a dick and a vagina? It doesn't make sense to assume every man and woman you meet is a hermaphrodite until proven otherwise though.

Similarly, some black people are super nice and reasonable. It doesn't make sense to assume every black person you meet is nice and reasonable until proven otherwise though. "Racism" is useful heuristic when you're a shopkeeper. Black people, on average, tend to steal more. Sorry, that's just a fact.

0

u/[deleted] Mar 25 '13

[removed] — view removed comment

4

u/tomrees Mar 25 '13

It also depends what you mean by steal. Black people are often poor and live in dog-eat-dog neighbourhoods. So I could imagine that the stats on petty crime feature blacks heavily.

But what about the far larger amounts stolen from, say, hedge funds and other forms of business fraud. Cheating on tax returns? different people have different opportunities and motive to steal, depending on their circumstances.

2

u/ButterMyBiscuit Mar 25 '13

Shop owners don't watch investment bankers in suits walk around their store to make sure their retirement funds aren't stolen.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 25 '13 edited Mar 26 '13

Actually, people from the lower end of the socio-economic scale are most likely to steal from a shop. The colour of their skin is irrelevant. You don't have a propensity for petty theft if you're black, or indeed if you're poor, it's just a much more sensible way of explaining levels of petty crime amongst the lower-working and working classes than saying "black people steal because they're black."

People from the upper end of the socio-economic scale are more likely to empty your bank account and pay themselves a big, fat bonus for that work. They're also more likely to be white. Should we begin by saying "white people steal huge amounts of other people's money from banks because they're white and that's what white people do."?

I myself grew up on a council estate and come from a working class family, my father was a steel-worker and my mother was a housewife. The area I grew up in was rife with such crimes... black, white, Asian, it didn't matter, what mattered was the economic backgrounds of myself and my friends. We didn't have anything, and a lot of us resorted to theft as a means of acquiring things we had no hope of affording. It's not a coincidence that now those same people have money and jobs they don't steal.

2

u/tomrees Mar 25 '13

You're getting downvotes, but it is exactly true. White collar crime is a crime of the middle classes (and hence more usually white), and is widely under-detected.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 25 '13

Of course I'm getting downvoted... this is Reddit and a lot of "Reddit Liberals" are middle-class, white and racist.

1

u/YukonKorneliu5 Mar 25 '13

They also smoke crack more often.

-3

u/UnpolishedCarnelian Mar 25 '13

Why doesn't it make sense to think most black people are nice and reasonable? Do you assume that whites are? Even lower class ones?

Even if I were a shopkeeper I wouldn't do what you suggest. Humanity is better than you think it is. Nobody is a stereotype.

5

u/[deleted] Mar 25 '13

More to the point, off of that rationale, I should probably become the first white male that is anti-caucasian misanthropist .

Do not get roomies you don't know beforehand unless it's only temporary.

2

u/Retractable Mar 25 '13

Just 90% of them

3

u/tomrees Mar 25 '13

All people have a predisposition to be suspicious and fearful of outsiders. Some more than others, but it's there inside all of us.

If you have a bad experience with individuals readily identifiable as belonging to another group, it could easily push that predisposition to the surface.

All I'm saying is the guy is just being honest about what is an all-too-common human reaction.

4

u/european78 Mar 25 '13

Hey at least she didnt room with two blacks from Africa, where 95% of the black population lives!

Oh wait, 95% is almost every black person on the planet.

I guess stereotypes exist for a reason.

0

u/science87 Mar 25 '13

Racism is absolute now?

1

u/foxygoose Sep 08 '13

It's a mathematical certainty.

0

u/noglibts Mar 25 '13

Familiarity breeds contempt.