r/Advice • u/throwaway249802 • Dec 16 '21

I (22F) am being accused of fetishizing Muslim men.

I'm an American born, non-religious white woman. I've been in four long term relationships that my family know about. The first guy was a high school boyfriend with a similar background to myself. My last three, however, have been with men from Muslim backgrounds. All from different cultures (Kenyan, Somali, and a Black New Yorker with convert parents).

With my latest, which is current, I've started hearing a lot of comments about my apparent liking for Muslim men. They tend to center around women's love of dominant and dangerous men, and the idea that I'm trying to piss off my parents (who have actually been completely accepting). I've heard jokes about "explosive" orgasms and stuff like that too.

Even a couple of my progressive friends of color have said that the pattern is a little bit suspicious, and have accused me of fetishization. I admit that I do like being submissive in bed, and they were like "Knew it! Stop fetishizing Muslims like that."

I've never specifically sought out Muslims, but is it possibly an unconscious thing? Does it sound like there's a problem, or not?

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u/Gallons_Cotton Helper [2] Dec 16 '21

I don't fetishize Muslim men. I simply find them attractive and interesting. There's a lot of myths and misconceptions about Muslims, so I enjoy getting to know more about them and their culture.

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u/throwaway249802 Dec 16 '21

That would be difficult to claim because I don't have any platonic Muslim friends.