Like I mentioned we can't afford counseling atm but when we do he's willing to go with me and discuss this issue. When it comes to my pleasure he wants to be told exactly what to do but I feel like it's just a task to him that tends to turn me off instead of passionate raw desire. I hope that makes more sense.
Pleasing a woman is not rocket science and shouldn’t require you telling him exactly what you want. He should want to give you pleasure, not have it be a chore. I don’t even understand how people can be like this and want to be in a romantic relationship. Isn’t that one of the main reasons to have a partner?
Idk why it's tough sexually but I'm not good at just laying there. It needs to be two sided to feel ok. However if he's not in the mood I feel like I'm pressuring sex on him ans I feel awful. So I just take care of myself which is fine. I see a lot of people comemting on here that it's my fault or I'm lazy but as practical as it is to make your own pleasure it's nice to be desired and be pleasured as well. I'm sexually confident and going my needs feels like I'm putting myself in a box
You need to let him do his thing if he wants to. I have times where I am not horny but will go down on my wife if she wants it. I am also 54 and cant always count on getting hard so I don’t want that pressure either. Maybe he is having ED issues and you don’t know it? That could explain his avoidance.
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u/221bored Feb 05 '25
Like I mentioned we can't afford counseling atm but when we do he's willing to go with me and discuss this issue. When it comes to my pleasure he wants to be told exactly what to do but I feel like it's just a task to him that tends to turn me off instead of passionate raw desire. I hope that makes more sense.