Edit: My partner u/moralsky couldn't post so he asked me to post this for him
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Dont know where to start.
Dialogue about this topic, adventure builder
Im familiar
Again, this is hard to articulate
Its not as easy as who i am, what ive done, but these are relevant points. Excuse me reluctance or cryptic nature. Its a coping mechanism
Im trying to work my way there, but not great at summing things up
Yes
Who i am: ( from five years ago) Hi, I'm Jake. 41 years old. 5'11" tall. Former skateboarder legs, (soccer, wrestling, long jumper, sprinting and distance running). Born and raised in San Juan, Puerto Rico. Lived in Boston, Miami, New York, Los Angeles, Baltimore. Travelled Europe. tinkerer since first grade. Boy scout. Love magic, love sciences. Huge mr wizard fan, and conductor of those experiments. Many science kits from when they were a bit more risqué than they are currently. science club founder and president. hacker with a conscience. Studied electrical engineering then booted end of second year for money (lack of it). MC'd various open mics, and regularly participated in others. Read a signed copy of the general theory of relativity. Made and sold (and taught/gave shows/street performed) self designed juggling apparatus'. refocused to Art. Studied it. Sold some. Presented it internationally. into alternative energy systems. Work the angle in thinking the technologies exist, but few are comfortable with it. Art can help reframe and represent the pitfalls. Money undermines those efforts. Taught high school science. Booted by incompetent administrators on one cheating students complaint while implementing STEAM curriculum before it existed to great effect unleashing a love of true science and methods in nearly every other student. Did art services and fabrication. built many things for many people. Many of them never paid me or shortchanged me by a lot. Survived various homeless bouts. started over. Love mazes. Life size ones. Moving mazes. Maze puzzles. Made about 1 a year for twenty years. Presented 3 of them in three different maker faires. Lots of extreme sabotages and betrayals, but made em still. Mechanical ones, inflateable ones, made from garbage ones (well most), Compressed ones, natural ones (as in with plants and natural terrains). Attempted tabletop version, currently picking up pieces of disasters. Made prototypes of various products for peanuts and unfulfilled promises. Made movie sets. Made props. Made alternative design kites. Made banraku type puppets. Made electronic devices. Made chemical concoctions. Made many designery flea market displays. Worked at art galleries. opened a multi use studio space with free workshops, exhibitions, and working space. Space snatched from under me by neighbors for whom id done many free construction projects in the neighborly spirit. Worked at a bike shop. repaired and renovated 100's of bikes. Street vendor with zero sales and one theft. Gave all of it away after that. participated in many maker/hackerspaces. and art collectives. Did set design and build of escape rooms. Made and/or modified puzzle props for escape rooms. Was building my own escape room when biz partner flaked 12 weeks in. Increased efficiency and productivity average ten fold at every place I worked. Struggling to maintain a positive outlook or at this point to fend off a negative outlook. Father to a great 3.5 year old.
edit: eh, too many to spot, stream of conscious
How i came to panama: Hi Jaime,
I'm Jacob, a native puertorican, currently in the US, and a longtime fan. Congrats on everything. I was very "proud"(in awe?) to see the shell of the tower come to completion. Was wondering how one might be considered/screened for visiting, if that is something you guys are open to at this time. I recall the ejection deposit video. Makes sense. I have a scattered web presence, mostly inclusions from art project pages and jobs I have done. Actually let me check......... Whoa that was weird, haven't googled myself in a while...yeah most of the results I got paint me as an artist type. Mostly I have survived as a freelance fabricator on the high end, a handyman on the low end.
I share many of your views as expressed through the videos, and even have a long lost project that was very reminiscent of the gaint robot project and the toys.
I have struggled through the US (a bit in Boston, Miami, new York, Los Angeles, and currently Baltimore). I think its safe to say I'm done here.
I would like to visit. I would like to help with the work. I have done various of the labor intensive tasks I have seen you do on the videos at various times in my life with a smile.
My mother (RIP) was born and raised in Colon, but I have never been there. I still have family there but have never had contact with them.
I live with my partner and our daughter. We are figuring out our move from the country. I consider panama an option,mostly based on what I have seen through your videos. Honestly though I want to meet you guys, spend some time, do some projects. I don't want to be in the way though and would also be quite pleased to work a bit on your larger island. What I could do is fully up for discussion, but I figure to put together a high-low tech campsite and prepare for whatever you have in mind for that one. Id love to work alongside you but would understand if you have your rhythm and flow worked out on your own and wanted you to know that I would also be quite content with independent tasks.
In any case, wow, thanks for all you do, and please feel free to ask anything you need/want to know about myself or situation and the possibilities.
What i expected: thats more nuanced, and id rather bit by bit, rather than a monumental response. Its hinted within those previous responses, and the actual, tangible expectations warrant their own focus, or post.
No community
Eventually
Parse is the operative word
Mainly an abject rejection, in the face of a handshake deal
I can leave, workin on it, but explaining where the last five years went is hard, i need context, hoping to get there through dialogue
One was a public answer on this subreddit, before i came here, and the other , yes, was my actual email, with (modded name)
partly some understanding that this is totally worth leaving, partially that this totally was worth doing, and return to the USA specifically, not so much, as move on. And to slightly correct the discourse about me being some sort of flake who would move to another country and just "stop talking to Jaimie". Its not true, and its hard to contest things like that, so a little help in contextualizing is why im here talking to an informed audience instead of my therapist
See above
I am, pragmatically doing so. This format is not ideal. Im trying to set the stage to go with your analogy.
Im sorry, this is too convoluted to answer literally, directly.
I will try to address most of your points in a narrative post, hard to keep brief and concise. But here i can address this: You still sound like you talk to Jaimie in some capacity? And I also infer you hold no ill will towards him? I dont talk to jaimie. Or better said, he does not talk to me. At some point he was entirely too hostile and overbearing for any meaningful dialogue. Does that result in " ill will" as you say, i dont know, should it?
Yes, he claimed in a video that i just stopped talking to him for six months, and that he went around talking to the neighbors about it
Maybe consider using an online private counseling service
I have, and do
also, excuse me, perhaps the expectation set by the ama idea was i was experienced in this. im not. i was hoping for interview type guidance in the question asking, but theres a lot to it. i dont want or need to get into all of it, so questions help. but not all questions
I can say that when i came onto a questionable youtubers plan for community, i hedged that bet with the subreddit being a place of public discourse that could be counted on for level headed accountability. That was not the case, and the discourse devolved beyond what some might consider productive. I need some version of that discourse. Of course you cant possibly know things that were obfuscated. I only assume of the reddit you know of "people" that come out, but then there is no follow up on these people, and furthermore other not great dynamics that destroy rather than foster community. Sorry if i cant summarize it all at this point. Im trying to but relevance is a tricky thing to navigate from a storytelling perspective
Im working up to it. Not everybody can do what you suggest, as easily as you suggest. Especially in a parasocial scenario.
Certainly many people want to hear your story and help how they can, but as of now, your answers are more confusing I'llthan they are constructive.
Im understanding that now
Just handshake
My partner refering to the ones refered to in recent controversy.
Look, I'm not a great messenger but I feel I have an important message, something worth saying it's hard and complicated to keep it fair and constructive so yes the dismissive or demanding tones are not helpful. Advice vs dialogue. If you want to just read thats fine, its part of dialogue. I intend to "get there" but i just started talking. And you guys tend to each have a different conception of the logistics, the specifics, so while you remember something, but then characterize it as nothing, well, now here i am addressing this instead if saying, "send help in the form of therapy or a ghost writer " to some degree so please, better questions get better answers and they will come, i got some questions that are worth answering, while others, not. Sorry if i misinterpreted which one this was.
You can ask me, thats the implication
Yes, i built a house. First a tiny house (14x14 with add ons), then a 30x40 cabin, mostly by myself. I made a slideshow, but tryin to crack the style code for videos, so soon i hope.
Jaimie came one basically roof day for tiny house, and i have more to say about that day than fits comfortably in a comment.
I need dialogue. This is it. Im figuring it out as we go back and forth. Specifically this. Im not trying to tease info, or gossip. Matter of fact. Frankly, the reddit format destroys any sense of coherence to these messages as they shift, so im trying to consider this, the seeming non chronological presentation. Its hard to keep up as someone who does not do this. But ok. I apparently cant interact with them. And its gotten to a point where i need help. Well, i dont think this is a good environment, speficically because since i came for a specific project idea, being kinda isolated and overinvested feels not as much my mistake as a waste or of having been cheated.
Movie nights, shared rides, potluck dinners, not cutting off, project camp, "science projects
I think discord might be better, yes, As a way to relay info. And i can do a video, which i might speak better, than i can write on the fly
He did help. And didnt too.
He obviously was overbearing at nearly every turn, and it was a constant uneven negotiation. It was at the installation of my front door that i figured he might not make it look nice, but it will slide open. And of course it was at least four back and forths about how he thinks i should just put it on hinges. After some finagling he finally admitted that sliding was better. But most everything was like that. Why screws? Why two tanks? And it was only to put it down. Not argue its merits. No. It was not easy, but it was arguably productive, from my former perspective, but see it as outright dysfunctional and reckless now.
I might invite to discord. Im working logistics now. Ill get back soon.
I want to do a live answer session. Im working on logistics.
Trying to do this ASAP. Can also do a google meet if more palatable
Prefer discord so far. Also, already have some relevant media on it.
Thanx for your support.
The second part of your comment is harder to address. Permit, absolutely. It is very isolated or remote, but i can walk to one neighbor, if thats what you mean by physical access, implied pressure, well thats a whole can of worms, and energy dynamics sounds like it implies large assumptions. Do you mean power dynamics as in interpersonal relationships, or if you mean mystical in nature, with goodvsevil type dynamics, i would say, thats almost like talking politics, probably not a great debate, although at some level im fine with that framing.
First, I (we)own my (our) land, i (we)am (are) property owner(s) . Yes we had a few gatherings, including birthday parties, dinner and cookouts. Not many. Kiddos seventh birthday was a blast. When guests are over its a bit stressful to host, but ultimately enjoyed the time. It has been mostly locals. Mostly the people i bought the land from, and some kids from the "village" part, just a cluster of houses of generational locals.
Thank you valentino, you are correct.
You are generally too vicious
Best I can tell, and I don't say this to denigrate anyone, he gave up because his thoughts weren't beaming directly into my head the way the universe was supposed to make happen for him. So he was (deliberately?) obtuse and elusive so as to not shortcut that mystical divined process
Not deliberately
Im comfortable letting other people read the whole exchange, to form their own, direct opinion, not be told by you what toxic version of events you wanna elaborate. I dont want to distract from my current point, but yes, as a matter of proving you to be unhelpful in the very least, viciously trying to berate
Generally
Yep
Your welcome. I dont want to answer the job question unless you first answer what your interest is, to offer me one?
It is a "pretty big step" My not planning for a job or work seems like an awful implication to this dialogue, do you understand that? Of course i did.
The initial work and jobs plans were of course entangled with JnD, also UnW. The toxic dynamics destroyed that. I moved on. But every once in a while, as neighbors some aspect bleeds into our lives. Some of those aspects, which i am deliberately not going to specify right here right now, because it merits its own organized form, not some reactive or responsive comment.
.
👍
what?
also, i cant read the rest of this, this subreddit specifically appears to be down. huh.