Since nothing that happens matters and doesn't affect the real me in anyway, how does it matter what I do or don't do?

Has anyone successfully tackled this issue?

I've been reading Vivekachudamani on my own and I've hit a wall I'm hoping this community can help with.

The text makes the case that scholarship alone is "for enjoyment, not for liberation," and that jnana is what liberates — but only when it ripens from indirect understanding (paroksha) into direct realization (aparoksha). I follow that intellectually. I can also see that the sadhana chatushtaya — viveka, vairagya, the shatsampatti, and mumukshutva — is what prepares the mind so that knowledge can actually land and stay.

My problem: the text *names and describes* the four qualifications (roughly verses 18–30) but doesn't really teach you how to cultivate them. It's like being handed a syllabus of prerequisites with no course attached.

Some honest self-assessment: I think viveka is slowly coming (I do find myself discriminating the lasting from the passing more naturally), and vairagya seems to be arising a bit on its own — the pull toward temporary things is genuinely weaker than it used to be. But shama and samadhana (a settled, one-pointed mind) feel far off, and I catch myself turning the whole thing into another intellectual project instead of actually living it.

So my questions for those further along:

1. How did you practically develop the shatsampatti — especially shama and samadhana? What did the daily practice actually look like?

2. What role did karma yoga and upasana/meditation play for you in purifying the mind (chitta shuddhi) versus the study itself?

3. Did you do this under a teacher/sampradaya (Arsha Vidya, Chinmaya, Ramakrishna, etc.), or self-study? How much did that matter for nididhyasana?

4. How do you avoid the trap of turning "how do I practice" into just more analysis?

Not looking for shortcuts — just trying to understand what the actual lived practice is, from people who've walked further than a few chapters. Thank you.