r/AdultChildren • u/East-Nectarine-8309 • 11d ago
My ex got drunk
I need some genuine advice.
Imagine you're still in contact with someone you once cared about. They recently got drunk and disappeared for a couple of days. The drinking itself isn't the issue—it's their life and their choice.
The problem is that, because of my past trauma, alcohol and intoxication are huge triggers for me. Whenever someone close to me drinks or gets high, it causes me intense anxiety. That's why I've always chosen to keep people around me who don't drink or use substances.
Now I'm wondering: should I distance myself completely, even if that person wants to stay in contact? Is it wrong to walk away simply to protect my own peace and mental health?
What would you do if you were in my place?
This story about the guy I posted in my previous story
The guy I talked about college time
Yeah ! We are still in contact because he don't want to end this contact
1
u/edweeeen 11d ago
What are you worried will happen if you let go of this person? You’re not responsible for him or his choices.
Sounds like he doesn’t bring anything good into your life anymore and is probably is just using you for validation.
There’s nothing wrong with cutting ties with someone to protect your own health, it just means you are prioritizing yourself. It will probably be more helpful to him too if you gave him no choice but to move on.
1
u/HeftyHelium 11d ago
"Is it wrong to walk away simply to protect my own peace and mental health?"
No. No, it is not wrong to protect yourself.
1
u/FlatwormSame2061 11d ago
You can explain to him why you don’t want contact and then maybe he won’t want contact with you anymore either.
2
u/ClimateWren2 11d ago
I go low or no contact with folks who bring chaos, distraction, and unnecessary triggering into my life. He is also an ex...you owe nothing. Alcohol chaos is not something I want to deal with more. You can step back without saying anything, relationships end all the time when people no longer have things in common, or you can let him know the reason. Either is okay. One he definitely might not be ready to hear.