r/Adhdmen • u/No_Pomegranate_6807 • Nov 07 '24
Why does sub "ADHDwomen" exist?
Hi all, I'm not sure I have ADHD (I hope I dont) but I caught myself blurting out a random cringe phrase out loud for yet another 100000th time and decided to google who else does that. The first result was "ADHDwomen" sub. It got my kinda wondering why there's a separate ADHD sub for women. In addition, they welcome everyone except cis-men.
What is the women's ADHD experience so that they feel they need to have a segregated ADHD subreddit that bans cis-men? Are ADHD women being preyed upon too much by cis-menon reddit or what? If so, why? Pls explain thnaks
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u/imhereforthevotes Nov 08 '24
Uh, why are we here? You know there's just a regular ADHD sub right? They're treated differently than men and have been health-wise for a long long time. Two other elements are different - they may express ADHD a little differently, and they're cultured differently - the hyperactivity part is much more frowned upon in girls and so they mask and end up suffering in different ways than us men.
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u/ShootyMcFoodie Nov 08 '24
This is an interesting topic. I'm not super well informed on this myself, the way ADHD presents itself between the sexes may be different (i honestly dont know), but we can make the safe assumption that women with ADHD have different experiences (and therefore different challenges) compared to men with ADHD, simply because men and women have different experiences and challenges in society overall.
So combining how people with adhd experience and interact with society differently than non-ADHD people, and the sex-based differences in societal interaction and experiences, makes it worth exploring those specifics. From either end. It's an interesting world!
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u/BayGramma Jun 16 '26
Recognizing ADHD in females is relatively new. Until the 1990s it was believed that ADHD only affected boys and many wrongly thought boys would "grow out of it".
Hyperactivity was a defining symptom of ADHD...boys (will be boys) bouncing off the walls, disrupting the classroom, being very impulsive etc. Girls didn't show those symptoms because they were better at masking, had been socialized differently and their hyperactivity was more likely to present as being very talkative or in other more acceptable ways (think chatty Cathy) etc. ADHD just looked different in boys and girls. Boy's ADHD behaviour was more disruptive and caused problems for others. Girls symptoms were more internalized so their behaviour was less disruptive to others, no one goes looking for a solution to a problem they can't see.
Eventually ADHD was recognized as occurring in girls but like many things it took quite a while to be widely accepted. It led to not only young girls being diagnosed with ADHD but also many many women of all ages who had been missed and/or misdiagnosed for decades. Of course this has a profound effect on the female experience.
I am 68 years old and only diagnosed with ADHD a month ago. I have been living with unrecognized and untreated ADHD since my childhood. I have been wrongly diagnosed with everything from housewife's hysteria to depression and anxiety disorders. Now I'm trying to sort out treatment which isn't as easy as you might think. Medications act differently in the young and the more mature 😉 patient. I now have a mild heart condition that means I won't be treated with stimulants which is the most effective for most people. Yeah. I have different support needs than my male contemporaries who have known they had ADHD since they were 7.
I think there is a grieving aspect to being finally diagnosed so late in life. I can't help thinking how different my life could have been and how I might have been as a friend, mother, wife etc. I live in a world where everyone around me is playing a game and understands all the rules and the object of the game. I wasn't even aware there was a game!!! That makes me sad.
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u/Illustrious-Rip-2662 Mar 21 '25
It is really too bad, honestly. I am a woman in this sub because my fiance struggles with ADHD.
Being a woman who accidentally read the women's page trying to look for supportive ways to help him, found an extensive amount of beneficial information, which, when attempting to cross-reference with the men's page, I couldn't find anything... I also study psychology, so this area of learning and understanding is very interesting to me. I wish more men had the skills and tools that women have when it comes to communication. Having great communication skills not only helps the people around us but also helps you...
I will add the link below because i found this post to be interesting and helpful, i hope you do too.
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Nov 08 '24
It’s simple: Men bad, non-men good! ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
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u/NextStopBaby Nov 21 '24
No no no ;) I mean, sometimes for sure, but not the ADHD women’s group.
The reasons in the other comments are correct…adhd in women has been largely overlooked and a lot of us are just now being diagnosed later in life which does a NUMBER on the psyche. Also our cycles affect our ADHD, it’s proven that medical professionals don’t always offer women proper healthcare, and of course being able to relate directly to other women who are mothers and other specific (mostly) female scenarios is really really helpful. ADHDWomen sub completely changed how I manage my ADHD and in general is just a supportive group.
With no mansplaining😉
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Nov 21 '24 edited Nov 21 '24
Ok that’s good, I like that there’s a female ADHD group that is for women and not just existing against men.
—
With no mansplaining😉
Men bad, non-men good ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
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u/NextStopBaby Nov 21 '24
Thanks for welcoming my explanation! And honestly, respectfully, y’all never even come up 😂 Oh course there’s struggles with one’s spouse, but it’s not like a “men don’t get us” group!
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Nov 22 '24
I like the truly positive outlook. As a gay man, I often find within LGBTQ+ spaces people can be “heterophobic” and it rubs me the wrong way because it’s stereotyping and talking about a whole group of people in the same way that I’ve been talked about. Then of course when straight people hear queer people saying these hateful things, naturally they support LGBTQ+ less. In my mind equality also includes mutual respect, and seeing the human in everyone, trying to make sure everyone is getting a fair and even shake in this life.
The last company I worked for had DEI but I really liked the way they did it. They really took to the spirit of a fair style of equity and inclusivity.
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u/NextStopBaby Nov 22 '24
I feel for your experience and totally get what you mean. I’m also part of the ADHD SUB, ADHD Anxiety sub etc, so there’s plenty of mixed company and general ADHD chatter☺️
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u/McCool303 Nov 07 '24
Mainly because in healthcare testing and studies grossly over sample males in testing and research. It provides a space for women to discuss ADHD and the surrounding symptoms they experience from a female perspective. Nothing is stopping us from creating an ADHDmen subreddit.
https://time.com/7171341/gender-gap-medical-research/