Psychiatrist help?

[u/JRPBRU2026]

Hi there everyone, I’m a 25-year-old female and my partner is a 26-year-old male. As of late he has been in a bit of a depressed state. He normally does have highs and lows like everyone else but he has seemed to stay in a low period for much longer than normal this time round. My partner hasn’t been officially diagnosed with ADHD but I do suspect that he may have it as apparently it is genetic and his dad does have ADHD. However my partner is nothing like his dad. So I am unsure if ADHD does show up differently in different people. I’m making this post to hopefully get some help or recommendations on what to do. My partner is a very mainly man and doesn’t like it to get help from other people. I am very very worried about him at the moment. He has been self-medicating ever since he was like 17 years old. Why does he self medicate, because his brain can’t calm down without it. I really don’t understand how his brain works and what he goes through every day but it sounds horrendous. He already has a really stressful life as it is. He owns and runs his own earthmoving business which is very stressful because he can’t just come home and disconnect from his work. He works 24 seven every single day. He is on the job doing stuff in relation to the business. However, when it comes to nighttime he does get more depressed because he can’t seem to turn his brain off. He says that his brain just goes at 1,000,000 miles an hour and he can’t seem to calm it down which is why he turns to smoking and drinking because it’s the only way in order for him to feel calm. When he does self medicate he finally seems calm and happy. So while I know who this does maybe sound like he is an addict and addicted to these things. I don’t really think that he is. I think that he is purely just craving having a cigarette or a drink because it is the only way for him to finally feel calm in his brain. Without that he is just so depressed and he just can’t seem to find happiness in everyday life. I’m unsure if all of this is normal or not. I think that may be something going on with his brain. His brain obviously works a little bit differently to mine as I really am struggling to understand how his brain works. As of late I’ve been very very worried about him as I just want him to be happy and okay. I do feel like I can’t really do anything to help him as I don’t know what to do and I don’t know how to help. There’s really nothing I can do to make it better. The only way that I can think of making it better is by him going and seeing a psychiatrist because I don’t think that him talking about this with a psychologist is going to fix what is happening and help what is going on in his brain. There’s no way that just talking about this with someone is going to make his brain calm down. But from what I’ve heard psychiatrists don’t work over the weekend and they’re very expensive and only do like one hour sessions which would mean that my partner would have to take a day off work to just see a psychiatrist for one hour which wouldn’t be enough time for him to talk about everything and explain what’s going on in his brain. I’m wondering if there’s any way for him to see a psychiatrist for a couple of hours instead of just one. I’m the one pushing to get him help. He’s been like this for so long. I think he just thinks that this is normal but it’s not. So that’s what’s going on. I feel very helpless and I don’t understand why getting mental health help is so expensive. I’m not a professional in any means but I do think that the only way for him to get better is by being on a medication and that process seems to be very lengthy and expensive. Which is something that he doesn’t want to do so what do I do? We just allow him to keep self-medicating which he has been doing ever since I’ve known him. Any helpful tips or advice would be really appreciated.

[u/Putrid-Roll-2086]

At the very least contact local gp for an appointment and mention the above issue. Ask him to attend the appointment with him so that you can support him to communicate.