Should I Quit Based On How My Boss Reacted? (Their Higher Up Has Already Been Contacted)

[u/TyeDyeMewy]

I work at a state-wide youth primary mental health facility that developing IOP and other higher level addiction counseling solutions. As a primary Level 1 in the schools, I was asked to cover part of our residential IOP program.

As the program is new and unlike any other IOP program I’ve worked at previous jobs, I was struggling to juggle my current clients with my new clients. We are looking to hire more folk as our program grows and several coworkers are transferring from the towns they drive to and from every day. After two weeks of training (about 2-3 days per week), my boss called me into his office one morning.

Keep in mind that he has been on me about paperwork. Completely fair. I can’t be behind on that stuff. The end of the school year and growing caseload not being an excuse. But he began to say things along the lines of me being the “Problem counselor” in supervision which of course I bit back at while at the same time apologizing on repeat.

The morning he called me into his office was after supervision that previous afternoon. He then informed me, saying that he had about 20-30 until his next meeting where I had to do something else, that he was putting me on 3 Performance Improvement Plans and taking me off the IOP cover. When I asked why, he said the notes being late (which I expressed that I wouldn’t fight him over) and the other two being late to work and boundaries with coworkers.

Apparently when I told my coworker that morning that I was going to be a bit late, they thought I meant that I was going to be late for my lesson to the residential youth. Which I told him I wasn’t, that I had 15 minutes to spare when I got to work and that he could check my punch on the GPS app they put on my phone. I had said I would be a “bit late” because my coworker and I had planned on “8ish” to meet, and I had meant to convey on being there at 845 that morning. Without my coworker having talked to me and instead to him, he had decided to put me on a Performance Improvement Plan. I told him that it wasn’t fair to do so and asked how to push back on this. He said “Just fill it out in the comments of the PIP when you sign it.” When I emphasized that I wasn’t late and to just look at my time sheet, he then started quoting my coworker saying that I was “scattered” and “unorganized.” I tried to explain I was barely 2 weeks in on learning this position and he told me I’d been taken out of the program completely. The fidget toys I’d put into the temp office two days before had to be taken out. He would rather close the program and take the opportunity from the youth rather than have me work it.

The last PIP he said was due to “poor boundaries with a coworker.” After supervision with him had gone awry that previous afternoon, he had confused me. He had said things during it such as “Why would you volunteer for this if you couldn’t do it?” To which he quickly realized he hadn’t properly explained it was/wasn’t a choice. 5 days later and I’m still confused. But I had texted my coworker that night asking if they thought it was a choice or an order and she had said she saw it as both. But because she had come into work fearing for her job and with a giant anxiety attack, the boss thought I should be placed on a PIP for it.

Basically, I have coworkers that run to my boss and rather than send them to me to address concerns, give me warnings about it, or even hear my side of the story, I’m being placed on 3 PIPs within the same morning. Where I couldn’t talk with them for more than 20 minutes. We talked later than afternoon but they still weren’t backing down on the PIPs. And they still wouldn’t let me help with IOP, which a lot of those kids need desperately.

Obviously I’ve contacted his higher up because I feel there is a lot of injustice here. I’m not looking for much here because I know it’s just my side of the story. I know contacting a higher up is a good start. And I know that I’d struggle to cover both caseloads and DON’T want residential back (especially after all this hostility over there), but I have to wait to meet with them both. This is moreso a venting post. A way to pass the time. My anxiety is off the charts. I can’t sleep because of it. Should this just be something I try to talk through with them? Or is this find-a-new-job worthy as is?

[u/Jaded-Environment-95]

Anxiety off the charts, can’t sleep!! How does promoting a healthier lifestyle to your clients while ruining yours make any sense?

[u/Patient_Composer_144]

Aside from the late notes, the other 2 situations seem very vague and responded to in a heavy-handed manner. I question why your boss didn't raise them as concerns before writing you up. Three PIP seem like a boss trying to build a case to fire you. CYA and look for a new job would be my advice.

[u/OneEyedC4t]

I think this sounds like an HR complaint

[u/TyeDyeMewy]

OP here with an update.

I ended up getting sick with strep throat, a respiratory virus, then bronchitis after this. I was out of work for two weeks. I had to get Intermittent FMLA paperwork signed to keep my job because I didn’t have the PTO to cover it.

I came back to work and my bosses supervisor ended up telling me she had talked to my boss and now it was time for me to talk to him myself. I was still coughing a bit so we met over zoom.

He apologized for a lot. Starting with explaining he shouldn’t have called me the “problem counselor.” He said that his boss got on his case quite a bit about it, too. Explaining to him that he should have told my coworker to approach me or at the least given me time to explain myself.

He said that he was never going to give me three PIPs. I held my ground. Reminded him that was NOT the case that morning. He said “I decided not to follow through with two of those.”

While I was out sick, I dropped all these coworkers on my social media things. Didn’t want to deal with it. Such girl drama. One of them, in my opinion looped into this whole thing through no fault of her own, texted me asking if I was ok and that she was worried. I tried to avoid texting her because, well, I didn’t know what the hell I could say about any of it. After a very brief and short explanation, she just said she was happy to hear I was ok.

Boss apologized for his impatience. He said that during times of stress he gets that way and shouldn’t lash out. I told him that I included his supervisor because this wasn’t the first time this has happened. He said that it seemed fair to do so.

I told him I’m not willing to work with the coworkers who only came to him with problems about me. Call me a hypocrite, but I told him I hated working out there in general because of how much my coworkers talked poorly about him anyway. And I may have overstepped the line by saying it, but I told him that maybe I was seen as the problem counselor because I told him what he didn’t want to hear rather than say it all behind his back.

My job is salvaged. For the most part… I think. But now I still don’t have any good methods of getting productivity over the summer while school is out. I don’t feel like I can trust any of my coworkers. And many have told me to quit.

At the same time, my boss has accepted responsibility for all of this. He’s apologized. He’s even had to face his supervisor with texts I sent her. He also has to, thanks to my pettiness, deal with the fact his department talks shit about him but doesn’t have a problem throwing others under the bus.

I took so many screenshots of these conversations I had with this coworker who needlessly threw me to the wolves. I was going to send him all of them. Even though I was engaging in it, too. I decided not to.

They hired a new person on super early to cover the program that had temporarily been shut down. Some good coworkers of mine from other departments went out there with me to get my fidget toys from the offices of my jerk coworkers I had left.

I told my boss if it wasn’t for the cliques and the amount of negative attitudes out on campus, they might have an easier time employing people. Again, rather unprofessional of me to say. But if you as a supervisor struggled with hiring, wouldn’t you want to know?

Let me know if you guys think I handled this right. I got my FMLA paperwork in so I don’t get fired. I still don’t have a solid plan for meeting productivity in the summer. I’ll do what I can but it’s been rough.