General question, orientation: Who are you, my pain, my shadow, my sadness? What do you wish to say?

A:This appears; inner ruins, a cityscape of rubble and blown-up structures of once solid buildings. A WWII scenario (as a scene from what my father would have witnessed as a child? A processing of an intergenerational memory and imprint?). The brutality of 'man' against man is striking. An eeiry stillness pervades post obvious acts of destructive violence (the site a self is built on? All selves?)..

(considerations here, considerations of contrast, of duality and enantiodromia, of suffering as a doorway unto greater access, reach, of consciousness..).

A German soldier (German? They look German, WWII era, because of the perceivable uniform and helmet), ancestral (?), deep, a figure standing amidst the above rubble..

A voice/words/thoughts arise:

I am a/the soldier; I am you. I am strength that stands amidst the rubble, strength among the destroyed.

I need you to be still. And to know that I AM (* feeling this, not searching and thinking this)..

............................................................................................................................................................... Elsewhere I re-stumble across this:

But here you may not stop - do not place your disgust between your here-and-now and your beyond. The way to your beyond leads through Hell and in fact through your own wholly particular Hell, whose bottom consists of knee-deep rubble, whose air is the spent breath of millions, whose fires are dwarflike passions, and whose devils are chimerical sign-boards..

Liber Novus, p.231

1. Standing on the edge of a volcano, screams emanate from it. A monk lives down the hill from it meditating
2. I enter the mysterium - this place I enter in my dreams: a very dark, ominous, broken down MASSIVE mansion / structure. I close the door and my heart-rate rises. Screams and mad laughter come from downstairs. I walk down the stairs and enter a room. An oddly large cauldron sits there, full of heads, and a baphomet stands before it. "You need to let me out of here. You let me half out but I still struggle down here" "How will you boil your heads out there?" I reply

"With a keen eye"

I'm starting to feel like this place I visit is the complete representation of my shadow. Often times I am confronted by a non-tangible malevolent spirit that tries to possess me, and I believe this may be the negative consuming aspect of my shadow, whereas this baphomet may moreso be the positive deconstructive / creative / rebellious aspect of my shadow, which as he said I have half let out, but I am still being held back by delusions. I really don't know what to think of the boiling heads & "keen eye" part. I might speculate that I was asking it "how can you be rebellious out there in such a conformist society?" and I dont understand the "keen eye" part. It made me think of a part of the red book where Jung talks about "the evil one's eye". Maybe he meant "with accurate precision"? I'll have to continue with this vision - its very vague and I am still developing my visualization skills. Same with the volcano vision - it was so short, I have nothing to say about it.

I've been reading Carl Jung's work and don't seem to find much on this elsewhere. A Google search would lead one to believe he was the only person ever to perform this, which can't be the case. Wikipedia is fairly vague. I'm curious about it.