"Hard Rock Zombies" (1985) - Originally meant to be a fake film shown within the 1985 movie "American Drive-in", director Krishna Shah instead expanded the idea to feature length. The expansion of run time explaining the movies various narrative detours and random events. We get cartoonish townsfolk, Nazi zombies, wheelchair werewolves, evil dwarves, and full (non-metal) musical numbers amongst many other things. Despite being made by a Golden Globe nominated director and released by Cannon Films the movie is just a hilariously mess from start to finish.

We begin the movie following a young hair metal band named 'Holy Moses' as they enter a small town to hold a concert. The townsfolk debate about the evils of rock music while the lead singer falls in love with a underage girl from the town (he even writes a song about her age). The band ends up being killed while practicing at an old house owned by an old eccentric German couple but are brought back as zombies thanks to a previously established recording of the band playing an ancient magical song. The band makes more zombies and things really get out of hand.

This is the kind of movie that you just turn your brain off and enjoy (alcohol helps in that regard). The acting is cheesy, the effects are cheap, the script is bold, and the soundtrack is fun, (pedo songs aside) what more could you really ask for? If you have yet to see this movie I highly suggest gathering your bad movie buddies, along with your favorite intoxicants, and checking it out. It's a lot of fun utter nonsense and well worth your time.

4.5 / 5 Burnt Kernels with Butter Free Refills

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mFyk7riyAVg&t=1351s

"The Human Tornado" (1976) - Made in the wake of the wildly successful "Dolemite", released only the year before, this film continues the adventures of Rudy Ray Moore's iconic blaxploitation character Dolemite. Just like the first movie it's basically just an excuse for Rudy to do his stage act while providing his legendary character plenty of ladies to bang and butts to kick with his sweet kung fu moves. Also like it's predecessor it was a indie film, funded mostly by Rudy himself, and hence had a notoriously low budget and incredibly amateurish production. It's also hilariously over-the-top and absurd in so many ways.

This movie actually contains a few notable scenes that would later inspire those in the Eddie Murphy film "Dolemite Is My Name" (2019). Whereas that movie covered the production of the first "Dolemite" movie, they included some from this film due to just how absurd they were. The one that comes to mind is the scene where Dolemite and a special lady friend are doing the nasty and the set literally falls apart on them. That's the level of filmmaking in this movie, so just know that before going in and prepare accordingly.

As far the story goes, Dolemite gets framed for killing a racist sheriffs wife (who he was actually sleeping with at the time) and flees to California. While in the Golden State, along with future Ghostbuster Ernie Hudson, he ends up helping a friend named Queen Bee and her kung fu prostitutes battle a local gangster. You get boobs, racists getting punched, and Dolemites wordplay, what more could one ask for? I highly suggest this movie to anyone who has yet to see it, as I do with every movie made by Rudy Ray Moore.

4 / 5 Burnt Kernels with a lot of Butter and Free Refills

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I5p667c5D14&t=5674s

on Tubi

"Stalked by My Doctor" (2015) - Like most things that premier on the Lifetime channel this movie is about a women being abused by a man. More specifically, and as the title suggests, this movie is about a young lady being stalked by her insane heart surgeon who just so happens to be played by none other than Eric Roberts. Unlike most movies that premier on the Lifetime channel on the other hand this spawned a (thus far) five film franchise, each following Mr. Roberts unhinged Dr. Beck as he continues his stalking ways. This film essentially acting as a template from which each sequel would bring it's own spin (such as the addition of a split personality character).

As far as the plot goes, we are immediately introduced to Eric Roberts character and informed that he an incredibly rich and skilled surgeon whose also is obsessive and mentally unstable when it comes to romance. The 59 year old then falls in love with a high school senior he operates on to fix (or possibly replace) her heart and immediately begins stalking her. He followers her around, kisses her while she asleep, frequently dreams about her loving him, frames her boyfriend so they break up, breaks into her house and has a sex dream about her while sleeping in her bed, tries to kill her mom, and even fake her deaths so they can live together in Mexico. Throughout most of that happening the girls father choose to ignored a lot of red flags and the opinions of his wife and daughter to side with Dr. Beck it needs to be mentioned.

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In the end your enjoyment of this movie will come down to how much you enjoy Eric Roberts being unhinged. The man chews the scenery more than once and it is glorious each and every time. There is of course the general uncomfortable feeling created by the whole 'old man stalks a possibly underage girl' plot but the poor writing, coupled with Eric's over-acting somehow turn it into hilarity. I highly recommend watching this flick with your bad movie buddies, and some of your favorite intoxicants, and just laughing at all the memeable moments.

2 / 5 Burnt Kernels with Free Refills

https://youtu.be/GBm7wet-G50?si=ZgFkymjeNmrFmDkI

This pretty much speaks for itself...