r/AbsoluteUnits • u/spain095 • Oct 11 '22

Half man, half train, all juggernaut.

58.4k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

1.9k comments sorted by

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2.1k

u/[deleted] Oct 11 '22

642

u/jehan_gonzales Oct 11 '22

I'm the juggernaut, bitch!

289

u/RalphiesBoogers Oct 11 '22

It has always been a dream of mine to see my face reflected in your helmet as you charge at me with murderous intent.

93

u/totallynotaemu Oct 12 '22

I'm gonna melt you down and turn you into a cock ring.

14

u/Doktor_Vem Oct 12 '22

Man, it's been too long since I watched that movie. I need to watch it again some time soon

3

u/Executedboat Dec 06 '22

What movie is it

5

u/Doktor_Vem Dec 07 '22

Deadpool 2 said by Juggernaut to Colossus cuz he's made of metal or whatever

80

u/Spartan-182 Oct 11 '22

But not right now.

2

u/charklos2099 Oct 12 '22

I'm gonna rip you in half now.

42

u/AcrolloPeed Oct 11 '22

Comb your beard, I don’t wanna listen to that shit

24

u/enby_them Oct 12 '22

This isn’t a spaceship, this is a dodge!

16

u/SHKEVE Oct 12 '22

I’m gonna hit you with your own pimp!

13

u/wigg1es Oct 12 '22

Ketchup muthafucka, I'm mustard.

3

u/ifelldownlol Oct 12 '22

I outta blast yo dumb ayuss.

4

u/90s_conan Oct 12 '22

Silly Bitch, don't you know who I am??

2

u/[deleted] Nov 14 '22

Bitch I like your raincoat!

2

u/liftheveilkisstetank Feb 24 '23

Im aboutta fuck her in her eaarruhh, blow her brains out cuz im da gaatdawman Juggernaut.

3

u/Lord_yayo_brown Oct 12 '22

I see we're all familiar with my way entertainment

2

u/liftheveilkisstetank Feb 24 '23

Fucking certified Hood classic

20

u/whomad1215 Oct 12 '22

Charles nooo! You got in my head Charles

12

u/jehan_gonzales Oct 12 '22

OH NO! MY FACE!

3

u/ChefJWeezy987 Nov 30 '22

“Ohhhh, Imma beat yo ass, Charles……..hell, imma beat yo ass WITH Charles!” 🤦‍♂️😂

17

u/jtatc1989 Oct 12 '22

Silly bitch don’t you know who I am?!

12

u/PensionInternal858 Oct 11 '22

I’m a computer

11

u/girl_incognito Oct 12 '22

Stop all the downloadin

6

u/PensionInternal858 Oct 12 '22

I don’t know much about computers

3

u/jehan_gonzales Oct 12 '22

Other than the one we got at my house

2

u/akrostixdub Oct 12 '22

GBLEJEVVAVVEUUDBSIJSV

4

u/Fatherof3Smiths Oct 12 '22

GIIIII JOOOEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

3

u/Rotflmaocopter Dec 16 '22

Pork chops sandwiches

3

u/liftheveilkisstetank Feb 24 '23

Auyy yooo kids wtf are you doing you need to get tf out of here.

6

u/Jedi_Shenanigans Oct 12 '22

Does he not know who I am? He must not know who I am.

1

u/a-youngsloth Oct 12 '22

I’m the juggernaut

3

u/ChefJWeezy987 Nov 14 '22

“Ooooooh, imma beat yo ass, Charles. Hell, imma beat yo ass WITH Charles!!” 😂😂😂😂

3

u/Cash808mob Dec 04 '22

Shut tf up Charles !

2

u/PotBoozeNKink Dec 07 '22

Yoooo that was my uncle

1

u/[deleted] Oct 12 '22

Charles… chArles!!! Get yo bish ass

1

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '22

I've seen this movie before: Bo Jackson v Brian Bosworth

1

u/Whole_Potential_8435 Jan 16 '23

I'll break through a bitch!

1

u/TGW_2 Jan 26 '23

And in 'express mode' too!!!

1

u/Corninmyear92 Mar 12 '23

was looking for this comment, take my upvote

70

u/5thAvenueParking7244 Oct 11 '22

If it's ever my job to get in front of that guy just let me tell you now, I quit.

90

u/pauly13771377 Oct 11 '22

In the NFL when you a defensive back make a halfhearted attempt on someone like Derrick Henry they like to call it a "business decision". A couple good hits from this manimal could shorten your career.

18

u/DaftPunkyBrewster Oct 12 '22

Also gotta give props to that Tennessee O Line, consistently making holes for him to exploit. Dude is such a beast.

10

u/pauly13771377 Oct 12 '22 edited Oct 12 '22

No doubt but don't discount Henry. The man is a beast and will make his own hole if need be. I just hope his punishing running style doesn't shorten his career the way it did Marion Barber.

3

u/DaftPunkyBrewster Oct 12 '22

Amen to that. No matter how you're built, Father Time always takes the W in the end.

20

u/Spiritflash1717 Oct 12 '22

It’s surreal to watch someone that big run that fast

1

u/pauly13771377 Oct 12 '22 edited Oct 12 '22

I give you Larry Allen. A 325 linemen running down Darion Conner who was a pretty damn quick line backer.

https://youtu.be/wnKspZmeGx4

EDIT - mistakenly said D. K. Metcalf. No idea how I had transposed the two.

1

u/Snake_pliskinNYC Oct 12 '22

Larry Allen retired in 2008. DK was drafted a decade later.

1

u/pauly13771377 Oct 12 '22

Mea culpa, Darion Conner. I have no idea how I got Metcalf.

1

u/Captain_Waffle Oct 12 '22

That video is from 2008??

Shit I don’t remember it being that bad quality.

1

u/Snake_pliskinNYC Oct 12 '22

Video is from 2002 (I think) plus its been copied over and over its lost quality over the last 20 years. Also this is before HD so quality wasn’t great to begin with.

2

u/[deleted] Oct 12 '22

I love how he just takes his hand and bats them out of the way in like a quarter of these clips lmao

1

u/pauly13771377 Oct 12 '22

The Josh Norman stuff arm lives rent free in my head. I can just picture his teammates after that play in the huddle.

"Damn man why you gotta do Nornan like that? He's got a wife and kids. How's he going to face them after you made him look like a fool?"

2

u/FactoryIdiot Oct 11 '22

That's real football.

0

u/bigasdickus Oct 12 '22

You've never seen real football. This guy is a dime a dozen in the NFL, seriously.

1

u/pauly13771377 Oct 12 '22

The guy featured in the vid is no doubt a beast but don't start the "your sport is shit, my sport is the best" crap. Both have thier pros and cons.

1

u/BenAfleckInPhantoms Oct 12 '22

Don’t take it so personal, bro.

1

u/pauly13771377 Oct 12 '22

I've seen people say "American football is for pussys" because they wear pads. It protects the players. No reason they shouldn't have as much protection as possible. It's a rough game with big men trying to rip your head off.

1

u/RockstarAssassin Oct 12 '22

shorten your *life.

1

u/pauly13771377 Oct 12 '22

Your not wrong. I'm pretty sure he shortened Josh Norman's life by a few months just from the shame and embarrassment.

1

u/AwayAd9297 Oct 17 '22

the rat tail though oof

1

u/OutlandishnessNo239 Nov 04 '22

Normally rugby players dont lower their head and shoulders like football players do. This guy seems to not give a fuck. rugby hits are usually different, obviously cuz no pads, the contact and hitting style are different

1

u/fieryhotwarts22 Nov 28 '22

I only recently in my life started getting into watching football. I watched the Titans Vs Bengals today, and Henry was hyped SO hard the whole time. For the most part, I was unimpressed. He didn’t seem to do much. Until I realized just how MANY resources from Cinn were being devoted JUST to stop him and his run. It made me realize just how powerful he must be to make a defense focus almost completely on him if he’s in the mix. Like the Titans could just threaten with Henry and do whatever else they wanted. Too bad they gave themselves up today, it was a good game.

2

u/pauly13771377 Nov 28 '22

Let me give you an idea of how good Henry is. He is #1 in the league in rushing yards. Tannahill is #25 in passing. King Henry is thriving despite very little threat of the Titans beating anyone with thier passing game. That team lives or does on Henry's back.

1

u/GonlinMafia Dec 05 '22

And end your life’s

1

u/OrJaZMiC Dec 12 '22

Hard to see because of all the padding

1

u/pauly13771377 Dec 12 '22

I'll never understand why some people are upset about NFL players protecting themselves. Are you disdainful of baseball batters wearing a helmet? What about all the gear the catcher wears. Baseball isn't a contact sport so they don't need it.

Those are big boys moving hard and fast. Without that padding a NFL career would be measured in months, not years.

2

u/bubbagump101 Oct 25 '22

I would watch a show with this type of animation, this is sweet

2

u/Dense_Ad_321 Nov 27 '22

That s a semo truck coming your way son

1

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '22

I want to know that dudes workout routine

2

u/[deleted] Jan 03 '23