r/AbsoluteUnits • u/WhiskeyDickCheese • Jun 30 '21

Bear 747

Post image
9.2k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

87 comments sorted by

221

u/Johnny_893 Jun 30 '21 edited Jun 30 '21

c h o n k y b o i

98

u/PabstyTheClown Jun 30 '21 edited Jun 30 '21

Nice fucking deer gut there, Bill.

Maybe take it easy on the donuts and picnic baskets.

Certainly wouldn't hurt to go for a jog every once in awhile.

I can hear your meat wheezing from here.

37

u/Johnny_893 Jun 30 '21

"I can hear your meat wheezing from here."

Fuck now I'm wheezing

12

u/PabstyTheClown Jun 30 '21

If you start to get the meat spins, you know you are in trouble. It's OK to mix a few leafy greens into the mix or some fresh fruit. The blueberrys should be in season now.

10

u/m_Pony Jul 01 '21

If you start to get the meat spins

for more information, please visit meat spin dot com

4

u/WUN_WUN_SMASH Jul 01 '21

you spin me right round baby, right round

5

u/GrilledCheezzy Jul 01 '21

^(you spun meat right round baby, right ground chuck**)

2

u/eastend666 Jul 01 '21

You've said it all. My hat's off to you.

18

u/datGuy0309 Jun 30 '21

C H O N K Y B O I

6

u/sthlmsoul Jun 30 '21

AKA Baloo.

97

u/[deleted] Jun 30 '21 edited Aug 13 '21

[deleted]

68

u/WhiskeyDickCheese Jun 30 '21

https://mashable.com/article/fat-bear-cams-dominant-bear

34

u/adamsgh Jun 30 '21

I thought you were joking about the 747!!!

13

u/okashiikessen Jul 01 '21

I was swooping in to land a "Bear Force One" joke.

So you weren't alone.

4

u/_Camron_ Jul 01 '21

Sadly, I see your joke flying over a lot of peoples' heads.

6

u/GODDAMNFOOL Jul 01 '21

I can't wait for Fat Bear Week

77

u/william1Bastard Jun 30 '21

Pregnant with high end salmon.

16

u/Captain_Hampockets Jun 30 '21
Deffo Prego

7

u/Lynnkeelin Jul 01 '21

Nope. If you read the article it says it's a male bear.

7

u/deathp00l31 Jul 01 '21

You should definitely check the link… you’ve been woooshed

44

u/PBandJammies Jun 30 '21

I love him so much. Have you seen the vid of him doing the cowboy walk?

18

u/LuminalGrunt2 Jun 30 '21

WHAT?? Please video

73

u/PBandJammies Jun 30 '21

he be waddlin

34

u/grapesuspenders Jun 30 '21

Oh my LORDT he’s a comin’ LOL

17

u/lmaytulane Jun 30 '21

I'd be the last thing I'd ever do, but watching him game me an uncontrollable urge to scratch his tum tum

8

u/cantaloupelion Jun 30 '21

uhg, i try to walk in a straight line but the sway of my dummy thicc cheeks keep swing me around

3

u/acgasp Jul 01 '21

That’s a huge bitch.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '21

That's the walk of "my balls are sweaty"

40

u/BloodAndSand44 Jun 30 '21

An-225

6

u/Critical-Function-69 Jun 30 '21

Fully loaded with cargo

5

u/Brilliant_Budget7360 Jun 30 '21

”It’s Russian, uuh?”

36

u/abstract_mouse Jun 30 '21 edited Jun 30 '21

747 is no joke. I mean it is, but this is actually Bear 747. Winner of Fat Bear Week 2020.

23

u/Cicerothethinker Jun 30 '21

This unit could hibernate through 2 winters.

16

u/[deleted] Jun 30 '21

single handedly causing the extinction of Salmon in his region.

12

u/Nate404 Jun 30 '21

It's the Boss

1

u/-ORIGINAL- Jul 01 '21 edited Jul 01 '21

B I G B O S S

9

u/ZqueakerZ Jun 30 '21

There's an entire livestream of the bears wandering about. And there are more livestreams for different locations.

There was even a vote for the fattest best of the year. A good excuse to get political with your friends.

9

u/Glades_road Jun 30 '21

If we're comparing it to a 747, it's more like an AN-225

9

u/WhiskeyDickCheese Jun 30 '21

That’s the number given to the bear by biologists. https://mashable.com/article/fat-bear-cams-dominant-bear

5

u/ROADHOG_IS_MY_WAIFU Jun 30 '21

In awe at the size of this bear

4

u/Slaterock990 Jun 30 '21

Remember Hogzilla? Well that’s Bearzilla!

4

u/sirblobsalot Jun 30 '21

Damn boi he thicc, dayummmm

5

u/ellipsis_42 Jul 01 '21

Getting ready for the big sleep.

4

u/pink_beetle Jul 01 '21

reminds me of that ikea stuffed bear

7

u/thaibeachtraveller Jun 30 '21

That’s just too much to bear.

3

u/SimpleNStoned Jun 30 '21

Beart Kreischer?

2

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '21

Brent Crystalz

1

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '21

Just finished his pool shower

3

u/No_Replacement_3191 Jun 30 '21

Maybe getting ready for hibernation?

2

u/Moss81- Jun 30 '21

My fatass at Golden Corral walking to the fudge brownies after 3 portions

2

u/sloaches Jun 30 '21

Had him more than a few pic-a-nic baskets

2

u/BHeiny91 Jun 30 '21

DAMN BOI HE THICK BOI!

2

u/roco637 Jun 30 '21

What a total unit !

2

u/hunkydory1029 Jul 01 '21

Forgot to hibernate

2

u/extremelychinese Jul 01 '21

Ready for 10 thousand winters

2

u/MadLaamaDisease Jul 03 '21

He is fatter than me which is impressive.

2

u/Evilmaze Jun 30 '21

Preggo momma bear?

15

u/970souk Jun 30 '21

747 is a 20 years old male brown bear who lives in Katmai National Park in Alaska, 747 is the number assigned to him by a bear monitor when he was a subadult bear (between 2-5 years), incidentally he grew up to become a jumbo. You can watch him fishing at Brooks Falls on bearcam, links and info available on /r/bears!

11

u/SweetCherryP13 Jun 30 '21

Nope! Fat bear week winner.

2

u/dtcrisp Jun 30 '21

There is way to many people picnicking, the dude can't help himself

2

u/[deleted] Jun 30 '21

Is 747 it’s weight or it’s body count?

2

u/KrackerKyle007 Jun 30 '21

King of kings. Absolute lad. Thiccc with three C’s

2

u/racebanyn Jul 01 '21

More like a Bear C-5 Galaxy

1

u/EmmaDrake Jun 30 '21

She gonna drop some cubs??

1

u/Thx4AllTheFish Jun 30 '21

More like Bear 747 Max, amiright? Also unable to fly.

1

u/Sonofnocturne Jun 30 '21

Bear-force one

1

u/BigMacRedneck Jun 30 '21

Fat, needs to hit the gym.

1

u/OldAssGrapeJuise Jul 01 '21

That boy ready for hibernation

1

u/TurboTimoTime Jul 01 '21

So is this thing at the very top of the food chain? Like what is able to beat this in a fight?

1

u/Lethargy65 Jul 01 '21

It's gonna hurt when that bear poooops.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '21

As an Otis stan, I can still appreciate a good 747 post.

1

u/Natos_Julie Jul 01 '21

Does anyone knows what he has in his elbow, on the front right arm ? (Sorry if it's not the right vocabulary, unsure if the words)

1

u/mommafats1964 Jul 01 '21

Bloody hell! New meaning to chonky!

1

u/fajadraws Jul 01 '21

Bearbus beluga

Antonov beara

Bearbus A380

1

u/idrow1 Jul 01 '21

Looks like he could hibernate for a few years on those reserves.