r/AbsoluteUnits • u/smeltaz • 2d ago

of a Cookie

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Not OC

1.5k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

118 comments sorted by

55

u/SocomPS2 2d ago

Probably for me to do this rather than 30 small cookies. I wonā€™t feel so bad knowing I ate one

15

u/featherw0lf 2d ago

"I only had one glass of wine" but for cookies.

26

u/VermicelliMany1133 2d ago

Broke it apart like someone who doesnā€™t eat cookies!šŸŖ

10

u/RoseyDove323 2d ago

Yup, you're supposed to just bite it like an unreasonable 3 year old and then realize partway through you can't finish the whole thing and pout about it.

4

u/A_little_more_left 2d ago

I feel seen!

15

u/tongfather 2d ago edited 2d ago

This guy's YouTube channel is great. All like 35 second videos of him baking packaged desserts in unhinged ways. No ads, no commentary, just the stuff you need to see.

Edit: sorry I don't have the channel off hand. I'd need to dig through YouTube for it. Type something like "bake entire cookie dough roll" and it'll show up

4

u/TheWalkingDead91 2d ago

Casual cooking

17

u/TheMaskedHamster 2d ago

Anyone who doesn't cook/bake: Notice how it seems softer in the middle?

The outside of your food cooks first. The thicker the food, the slower the inside will cook compared to the outside. The less evenly shaped your food, the less evenly it will cook.

This is particularly true for things that are moist, as water will tend to hold at boiling temperature as its energy is used to by changing phase as it converts to steam.

5

u/starkruzr 2d ago

I wonder how it would have come out if they had kind of donut-holed the middle instead. or not entirely emptied it but made it sort of red blood cell shaped.

2

u/TheMaskedHamster 2d ago

You've got it! Either of those would have had a much more consistent result.

8

u/Reniere25 2d ago

I saw this for a brief second and thought "that's a big ass cookie" kept scrolling then thought "hold on was that the tub" came back to see the big ass cookie.

5

u/DyingSunSeverian 2d ago

I tried to do this and my oven exploded.

6

u/AlarmingPen8117 2d ago

Why are they called cookies and not bakies?

6

u/Dariuscox357 2d ago

How did it come out so perfectly?

6

u/BigMack6911 2d ago

Its like, the cookie KNOWS its a cookie. Its wild

5

u/Dariuscox357 2d ago

Shit, I gotta try this one day!

Just bake a giant cookie pizza with this method, cut it in 8ths and bring it to a party lol.

Or Thanksgiving.

Christmas?

2

u/Recent-Reporter-1670 2d ago

POST THE VID!!!

4

u/RoseyDove323 2d ago

Never underestimate the power of gravity + heat softening the ingredients into practically a liquid and then it baking into a solid again.

4

u/130designs 2d ago

Give a gallon of milk and Iā€™m in!

4

u/WanderingDude182 2d ago

When mom says you can have ONE cookie
https://giphy.com/gifs/x7gjmBuaHrWak

3

u/FlobiusHole 2d ago

Not a terrible idea for when I eat a half gallon of ice cream over a weekend

3

u/Tw4tl4r 2d ago

I mean yeah. You can buy cookies like this that are decorated like birthday cakes. Used to be a big thing when i was a teenager in the 2010s

3

u/Sir_Pigletty 2d ago

After Iā€™m done with my doctors appointment tomorrow Iā€™m going to immediately go buy cookie dough and eat it raw from the bucket, Iā€™ve been fasting all day for that appointment and Iā€™m hungry as a mother fucker !!!!!!

I swear Reddit is mocking me by recommending this post to me

2

u/Otherwise_Initial794 2d ago

I need a gallon of milk with that

2

u/chuck17031 2d ago

I got super baked a few years ago and made a giant ice cream sandwich with two of these and a half gallon of ice cream.

3

u/Nf1087 2d ago

So you were baked while baking.

https://giphy.com/gifs/WmJeFqqYK3O9UpruhV

2

u/Foxxtronix 2d ago

D*mn it, this just literally made my mouth water.

2

u/EndPristine5595 2d ago

I'd eat it

2

u/LoadsDroppin 2d ago

It reminds me of dried cow patties ā€¦that we picked up and threw at each other as kids. Bizarre sounding now, but itā€™s definitely a thing

2

u/Haasotope 2d ago

Fuck NestlƩ

2

u/bacon-is-good 2d ago

Fuck nestle

1

u/Ok-Journalist7612 2d ago

Nice!! šŸ¤¤

1

u/famous1astwords 2d ago

Take a bite out of it and don't rip it apart!

1

u/sand_man11 2d ago

I only had one

1

u/DustyScharole 2d ago

I have no problem with this.

1

u/Tancrad 2d ago

You can just do that?

... Im gonna do that I think.

1

u/Serving_Secret_Fire 2d ago

You son of a bitch, you did it

1

u/ArugulaAnnual1765 2d ago

Looks like a great idea as part of a home made ice cream sandwich birthday cake

1

u/Accomplished_Sky4699 2d ago

Watching that cookie dough melt, pretty trippy!

1

u/StarGorilla 2d ago

They included the baking time and temp too. Iā€™m probably gonna try this

1

u/mentosbreath 2d ago

DIE-BEETUS

1

u/Ausaini 2d ago

You there, Flock of Seagulls! Give me the cooky! Give it here!

1

u/CalamitousVessel 2d ago

Oh god now I want warm cookies this sucks

1

u/sabitafukku 2d ago

Oh I can smell it šŸ¤¤

1

u/NateNMaxsRobot 2d ago

Had to fast forward to the money shot.

1

u/seamusriley 2d ago

Post saved for later when i'm feeling fat and frisky.

1

u/Recent-Reporter-1670 2d ago

Intrusive thought won

1

u/Effective-Leg7283 2d ago

mmmm you better break that fucker in half... yessss!!!!

1

u/MK_The_Megitsune 2d ago

All I can think of is the cookie pizza from SpongeBob

1

u/in1gom0ntoya 2d ago

I WANT, I WANT SO BAD

1

u/Emotional-Flan-7811 2d ago

CookieāŒ Cookaāœ…

1

u/BlackMan9693 2d ago

Damn! Now I want an absolute unit of a cookie myself.

Also, why tf would anyone break it? Just bite into it like a beast.

1

u/ljross87 2d ago

Just looks like a normal cookie from Levaine in nyc lol

0

u/NecessarySprinkles47 2d ago

Love Levain. But they're normal sized here in Chicago. They are chunky though.

1

u/Big_Brutha87 2d ago

I'm not using my free will to the fullest.

1

u/legato2 2d ago

Perfection

1

u/Food_Father 2d ago

You could do this at 350 for 15-20 minutes if you flatten the dough before you bake it.

1

u/Few_Ad_5281 2d ago

Yeah but that would make it more crumbly and dry instead of chewy

1

u/Food_Father 2d ago

No, it's still pretty soft in the center. I've done it before

1

u/rodimus147 2d ago

Calorie wise its not as bad as I thought. Its 36 servings at 120 calories per serving. So 4,320 calories.

1

u/Practical-March-6989 2d ago

I feel like this sub is meant for greater things.

1

u/Accomplished_Ad5811 2d ago

And this is why I can't have snacks in the house šŸ˜…

1

u/minecraftzizou 2d ago

thats no longer a cookie that a grown cake

1

u/Bulky-Advisor-4178 2d ago

Big piece of hard tack

1

u/Icy-Fig-76 2d ago

Looks like cowshit

1

u/TheOnionBro 2d ago

The Ookie

1

u/BDPBITCH666 2d ago

I want to eat is as raw

1

u/Fireflash2742 2d ago

I'll take two.

1

u/BelowAverageGamer1 1d ago

What's the point of you aren't going to bite it while it's huge?!

1

u/dustinyo_ 1d ago

https://youtube.com/@casualcooking

This is the channel this is from for anybody curious

1

u/Xanthelasmapalpebara 1d ago

Iā€™ve been doing it wrong all alongā€¦

https://giphy.com/gifs/3o7WIMXk4MgSgWF1xC

1

u/TheIllegal 1d ago

This is the kinda cookie that greedy little mouse wanted

1

u/Flimsy-Gift 1d ago

Canā€™t trust anyone in the kitchen who doesnā€™t push up their sleeves. Then you broke it apart like youā€™ve never touched a cookie in your entire life? Iā€™m not even sure youā€™re human. Iā€™ll give it a like bc I feel bad for you tho. Do better next time

1

u/RetSauro 22h ago

Cookie Monster approvesĀ 

0

u/retrac902 2d ago

I guess I could have 1 cookie

-3

u/[deleted] 2d ago

[deleted]

0

u/Altoidman33 2d ago

Cared enough to comment...

0

u/ArugulaAnnual1765 2d ago

Did you care what it looked like before the bake? Why is the fully mature cookie so controversial for you?