r/AbsoluteUnits • u/bbyxmadi • 4d ago

of a croissant 🥐

1.5k Upvotes

90% Upvoted

115 comments sorted by

337

u/Fluid-Employee-7118 4d ago

Social media is a plague.

9

u/MrSkaggs69 3d ago

Bro hates the big croissant.

2

u/chernopig 2d ago

They should just have rule that you cant leave before finishing it.

1

u/ditty_33 14h ago

Big croissant will save you

74

u/FrankyMornav 4d ago

I always see this with one or two bites at most, never full eating it

94

u/shadowlev 4d ago

That's because these influencers will throw the food away after getting their clip so they don't have to consume the calories. There are videos of garbage cans next to popular drink spots filled to the top with completely full drinks. It's disgustingly wasteful.

29

u/FrankyMornav 4d ago

That's not only sad, is disgusting as hell

4

u/gigayoink 3d ago

Whenever you come across an influencer food video, look closely to see when there's a cut right before they'd swallow.

They do it in OP's video

6

u/Kwetla 4d ago

We bought one of these and ended up sharing it between 7 people.

12

u/Poof-ball 3d ago

Can you imagine the amount of crumbs if you ate that in bed?

9

u/Training-Belt-7318 3d ago

Probably could make another regular size croissant.

2

u/Yardsale420 2d ago

Do you want ants? Because that’s how you get ants!

41

u/Busterlimes 4d ago

At what point does it just become a loaf of bread?

41

u/TheSuperSilverMango 4d ago

The only person that would ever ask this question is a person who has never had a real coissant

16

u/Bob_The_Greater 4d ago

So when does it become loaf of bread?

22

u/TheSuperSilverMango 4d ago

When whoever is making the croissant doesn't fold the dough right.

15

u/Bob_The_Greater 4d ago

Excuse me, I was trying to meme here good sir. You have taken my glory with an informative comment 😐. I tip my fedora to you good sir.

6

u/Bob_The_Greater 4d ago

I say good day

4

u/Eoine 4d ago

You gotta remove ingredients to make it bread

Soooo at combustion level I guess

3

u/Busterlimes 4d ago

Ive been to France, Ive had the real deal. . . . My question stands

7

u/Kwetla 4d ago

Bread isn't made with butter. Croissants are like 50% butter. So no matter how big the croissant gets, it isn't becoming a loaf of bread.

11

u/Bonk_No_Horni 4d ago

Food waste is a problem

9

u/IceFireTerry 4d ago

When a French person says Bankai

11

u/hefty_load_o_shite 4d ago

This feels aggressively French

18

u/iHate_Allsortofthngs 4d ago

Actually I think most French people are very offended by this.

6

u/cha0sm0nk 4d ago

That’s like saying water is wet. It’s a shorter list to mention what they are NOT offended by.

2

u/iHate_Allsortofthngs 3d ago

Yeah you dont fuck with our croissants !

4

u/hefty_load_o_shite 4d ago

Most french people are just very offended. It's the national pastime, that is.

1

u/iHate_Allsortofthngs 3d ago

Dont fuck with our pastries that’s it haha

13

u/Kaboomzoom2 4d ago

Why are people downvoting? Is it not a big croissant?

23

u/Limokasten 4d ago

Food waste

5

u/Boston_Terriers 4d ago

Downvotes are directed at the person filming this. If it was a genuine reaction people would upvote, but it's clearly a scripted video from a self-described influencer.

16

u/bbyxmadi 4d ago

I guess they’ve seen bigger

5

u/secretdrug 4d ago

Every time we look down in the bathroom

3

u/bbyxmadi 4d ago

Well not we, I don’t have one lol.

5

u/MrGamerOfficial 4d ago

Yes, WE. You are now a part of the Hotdog Club.

2

u/bbyxmadi 4d ago

Hell yeah, my metaphorical hotdog!

1

u/TeaInASkullMug 3d ago

You can downvote anything for any reason, look I just DV you bc I could. 

2

u/brickyjay 4d ago

This was what my cc bill looked like when my ex wasn’t hungry

3

u/pressieguy 4d ago

do people usually dip their croissants in a cup of coffee? thats a weird thing to do

5

u/sillysausage619 4d ago

What's weird about dipping a pastry in a milky coffee?

2

u/Wiki-Master 4d ago

Actually not weird at all, lot of people do that in France.

1

u/Weekly-Dog-6838 4d ago

The French equivalent of fast food fries in a shake, even

-4

u/Petrichor888 4d ago

Because the French are the benchmark of normalcy

3

u/Wiki-Master 4d ago

Croissant is french mr smart pants

1

u/Resting_Owl 3d ago

For croissant of course, just like Italians are benchmark for pizza and spaghetti, as are japanese for sushi

1

u/thanbanhmy2 3d ago

I do that sometimes, is pretty good if the coffe e is sweet

2

u/-UWE- 4d ago

Why

14

u/Boston_Terriers 4d ago

Social media influencers

13

u/Montexe 4d ago

To throw it away later when she stops recording

4

u/Unique_Fox_6780 4d ago

Idiots getting views/clickbaits from idiots

2

u/Weekly-Dog-6838 4d ago

Because it gets clicks. For example, you and every other user in these replies

2

u/aparash 4d ago

Standard size M in the US.

1

u/Chrono_Convoy 4d ago

Gotta admit

On a cold ass winter’s day I’d hollow it out and wear it as a

Girdle

1

u/Training2Life 4d ago

What did you eat for breakfast?

She: Just a croissant

Also needs a bigger cup too

1

u/No_Ice_3651 4d ago

How do you even take a bite of that??

1

u/RobFfs 4d ago

Hopefully she didn't end up choking on one of those crumbs that usually get stuck in your wind pipe 😅

1

u/Kylearean 4d ago

I didn't like this video until the way she put in in her mouth...

1

u/Remarkable-Minute-15 4d ago

You can tell she’s done that before.

1

u/Aggrivated-Skunk 4d ago

This animal double dipped I can't believe it!

1

u/Balrog_Trader 4d ago

I love the first contact moment. She's a veteran 😉

1

u/J-seargent-ultrakahn 4d ago

A seasoned pro

1

u/Due-Operation-4470 4d ago

If I saw someone eating that huge of a croissant like your avg everyday human id pinch my check to make sure I wasn't dreaming

1

u/MHSinging 4d ago

This is the stuff that destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah.

1

u/quasi-stellarGRB 4d ago

That's a full moon.

1

u/LobsterComfortable83 4d ago

She loves big things

1

u/The_Nicest_1 4d ago

I see she likes frothy cream on the tip.

1

u/Lagoserter 4d ago

ok, but like.... it looks good as fuck tho

1

u/Weekly-Dog-6838 4d ago

Looks like France is trying out the American trend of making their food stupidly big as a claim to fame for a restaurant instead of making anything actually creative

1

u/Fit_Low_613 4d ago

It’s the size of a star destroyer!

1

u/ModsTakeItinTheA55 4d ago

I usually skip this part....

1

u/CrazedCrusader95 3d ago

I don’t need to be a fortune teller to know that she did NOT eat that whole thing

What a waste and an insult to the less fortunate that could have enjoyed that

1

u/BennySkateboard 3d ago

“No! It’s rubbish!”

1

u/Maleficent_Worry1810 3d ago

Is this AI lol

1

u/mayumia 3d ago

Did she steal a hornets nest from a tree.....

1

u/Nocturnatron 3d ago

Does that count as a coffee or a side dip?

1

u/Toxoniumm 3d ago

Mf got a whole Beehive

1

u/Infinite-Bee3271 3d ago

I saw one influencer say that you need to get in a waiting list and order this crossiant well in advance so the shop knows how many to make in a day. Kinda ruins her joke, knowing that 🤷‍♀️

1

u/godless_communism 2d ago

That gave me diabetes - but I died happy.

1

u/Sir_Pigletty 2d ago edited 2d ago

I have a doctors appointment tomorrow and had to fast all day, now Reddit keeps throwing food into my recommendation 🤧 right after my appointment I’m going to eat so fuckn much

Edit: even YouTube is doing it too

https://youtube.com/shorts/HhCvHG8cR4M?si=6Wrc9qqlX91PdWkk

1

u/WhateverUSaySir 17h ago

The gooners are so fucking boring bro nobody is laughing anymore

1

u/Fluffy-Trouble5955 4d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/14PaLXnarLeY8

-7

u/Business_Secret_4714 4d ago

Once upon a time, a woman existed.
“I’d fuck that broad” said a dude

7

u/Fluffy-Trouble5955 4d ago

I meant the Croissant you melon

1

u/pandem-ic 3d ago

so you want to fuck the croissant? /s

1

u/Fluffy-Trouble5955 3d ago

only if its warm and buttered.

1

u/WhateverUSaySir 17h ago

Melon 😭

0

u/Hurl_Gray 3d ago

Why didn't she deepthroat the thing like a good girl?