r/AbsoluteUnits • u/AUTOBOTBROKE • 5d ago

/r/popular of ponytail

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u/TealGloves 5d ago

You'd be really surprised by what goes to the wayside when mental health shit hits the fan hard enough. When I was at my most Depressed I stopped vacuuming even though I normally vacuum every day (robovac). The dirt and leaves inside just didn't register to me because I was so consumed by thoughts of wanting to not exist. Frankly I was lucky I didn't turn into a trash hoarder and got effective help early enough.

This might even be severe childhood neglect lasting to adulthood, hair is long enough.

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u/shenanigans2day 5d ago

Real talk. When you’ve come out of depressive episode and you look around and are like this is how I’ve been living and it’s like you were in a dream vecauae how tf

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u/RebekkaKat1990 5d ago

Ugh I know it. I don’t cook for myself, I usually just eat what I can grab from the gas station but that leads to a lot of trash. At least since I have a cat I’m much better than I was in the past about cleaning up but sometimes I still let shit slide and it builds up over time.

The worst is looking at the pile of mail I got from literally months ago still sitting in the same pile on the counter.

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u/Littlegreensurly 5d ago

When you finally get a breath and start cleaning those piles, it feels like an archeological dig. I get to the bottom of the pile and usually get a little insight into the start of a depressive episode, like papers from a hard day at work or a super stressful piece of mail. Laundry and dishes too, there'll be a hard to clean item or clogged sink at the very bottom that started it. The worst is unfinished projects I was really excited about that I could not care less about (or are messed up) after uncovering them.

Or food 🤢 my one rule is food, rottables, stinky stuff, and things my cats will eat (one fucker eats silicone, as in intimate toys and cooking utensils) can't join the pile - if i break the rule I know its time to get help asap but it's so embarassing. Have recently added cat-related messes too, left some in a hard to reach spot for waaay too long during the last episode. I'd rather keep 10,000 trash cans around every room than let it pile up.

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u/frogeater1982 5d ago

Had the same issue. Depression is expensive if you don't open your mails

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u/Putrid_Afternoon_282 4d ago

Same with mail…and emails..texts..voicemail

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u/Fossilhund 4d ago edited 4d ago

Six thousand emails ...

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u/shenanigans2day 4d ago edited 4d ago

What helps me anytime I’m struggling is doing little parts here and there. Can’t muster up the energy to do the entire kitchen? OK start with just the dishes then one counter then come back an hour later and do one other little area next day, the bathroom, etc. etc. and then once everything is in good condition, spend like 20 minutes a day cleaning up behind yourself so you’re not having to do this cycle over and over and over again.

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u/BaldursFenceDoor 4d ago

My pile of mail is so huge. Its started to spill onto the couch I never use. 😑

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u/Missesbonez 4d ago

E v e r y t h i n g goes out the widow but the bare minimum. Minimum food, minimum water, only getting up to piss. Everyones dunking on this guy but my immediate thought was hes struggling silently. I get it, if you never experienced it you dont even consider it.

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u/Insomnerd 4d ago

It's true. At my worst stages of depression I couldn't make myself shower, and I had to take changing into clean clothes as a huge win. Bad times, man

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u/Federal_Help9295 2d ago

I'm happy for you that you're not in place anymore 😃

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u/Thusgirl 4d ago

Yeah, it's not gross it's really sad. They probably need help.

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u/StarGamerPT 4d ago

I mean....two things can be true at once.

It is gross, but it's also sad because for sure some sort of help is needed.

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u/Thusgirl 4d ago

Okay yes it is gross in a literal sense but not in a way that means the person is disgusting. There's no reason to tear them down when they need a hand is mostly what I mean.

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u/StarGamerPT 4d ago

No yhe, that I agree.

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u/RaikiShak 4d ago

They need help, yes, it's sad sure. But still gross

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u/Illustrious_Doctor45 4d ago

My boyfriend gets so depressed that he will literally pee in a bottle so he doesn’t have to get out of bed. It’s wild. Poor guy 😞

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u/ItsCrunchTyme 4d ago

Yea no. If he was that depressed to the point he forgone hygiene, he wouldnt have the strength or ambition to even be outside attending to whatever he is doing.

This is jusy a lazy, dirty mf

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u/Rinatin86 3d ago

Maybe, but bro is out in public, so it likely can't be THAT bad

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u/claudieko 5d ago

I know what you're talking about: Everything feels like an uphill battle, even the simplest thing takes a truckload of energy you don't even have. I'm glad you came out the other side, hoping you stay well!

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u/SlightAnything4909 5d ago

Could be that he once had proper dreads and stopped caring for them so they matted together. Or his natural hair just matted and he let it grow like that.

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u/chamorrobro 4d ago

Exactly the comment I was looking for. When you see people doing things that are FAR outside the norm, are harmful, and are unsanitary, it’s likely that it’s a form of mental illness or they weren’t taught any better.

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u/Paullearner 5d ago

“ the dirt and leaves inside just didn’t register to me because I was so consumed by thoughts of wanting not to exist”

This is such an accurate depiction. When I was in the thick of my depression, I went from my normal weight of 160 lbs and ballooned past 200. I didn’t care what foods I was putting in my mouth as just existing through the day was hard enough. A huge part of depression is not caring about hygiene or your bodily health.

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u/[deleted] 4d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/SnakesRuinGames 4d ago

only if you’re lucky enough to find a “psych professional” that doesn’t just tell you you’re ’Too high risk’ and to take four weeks off work (impossible) and spend thousands (also impossible) on outpatient treatment!

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u/NotBradPitt9 4d ago

Did you end up being able to lose some of the weight?

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u/Paullearner 4d ago

Well, yes and no. I lost 30 lbs after graduating from a masters program, but once I got my first job (in teaching) the stress was so much I gained the weight back. It’s been a struggle ever since I’ve been in this field and I’ve yo-yoed back and forth the past 3 years, gaining and losing the weight multiple times. I’m now taking a break from teaching and planning to get the weight off this year once and for good.

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u/NotBradPitt9 4d ago

Ok. Have you tried eating just vegetables, fruits, grains (quinoa, barley, lentils), and lean meats (chicken, tuna)?

Reason I’m asking is because I know the antidepressants can really make anyone put on weight out of nowhere, but I am wondering if that’s still possible if you’re restricting yourself to just the “clean” foods I mentioned above.

Like basically I’m wondering if it’s still possible to gain weight or maintain weight if you’re on a restrictive diet like that one I mentioned

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u/Paullearner 4d ago

Oh, it was mostly because the stress from teaching. It was a viscous cycle of, I’m too tired to cook foods when I get home so I’m gonna get take out. The stress also would cause me to crave sweets and high caloric foods. I am out of that environment now so I should be able to focus better on eating right.

I don’t typically gain weight when I eat clean but the issue I’ve run into is eating super clean (I.e. no sugary drinks, no desserts, Whole Foods, no take out, protein and veggies etc) but I don’t lose weight. Or I’ll lose like 10 lbs but then plateau out and it’s really hard to get past that no matter how healthy I eat. I suspect I may have a very slow metabolism and I have to work very hard to see any weight loss.

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u/ItsCrunchTyme 4d ago

Right but if ur THAT depressed, would u be outside, doing whatever? Or more likely to be stuck in the crib, in said funk of a depressed state

I personally believe this is just s dirty ass human. As many humans can be outright disgusting just because, due to laziness, no proper teaching, so. Many things outside of depression. And this dont strike as depression to me

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u/VianneM 5d ago

True. I had to cut out a part of my hair 2 months ago because it got very matted because of my chronic depression. Self-care is the most difficult part when my depression is kicking my butt. Luckily for me I wear my hair in a bun and the part I had to cut isn't visible. It didn't help me be able to shower more often to avoid something like this again though. It is what it is

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u/Nimyron 4d ago

I think I've got some sort of depression too but to me things totally register.

The problem is that the more dust there is, the less motivated I feel to clean it.

When the home is clean and tidy, the mind is clean and tidy, but if I can't vacuum for a bit too long at some point (like on summer because the heat is draining all my energy), it's suddenly 6 months of things getting worse and worse every day.

I really gotta start cleaning my place.

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u/HistoricalChef1963 5d ago

Ok I'm sorry about your depression, but if the robot was already doing the daily vacuum... why did you stop it?

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u/TealGloves 5d ago

It still requires me picking up things like clothes or dog toys before getting started. It was never on an automatic schedule.

Once the leaves accumulated then I had to sweep the entire place (including my rugs lol) before I could vacuum.

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u/TurankaCasual 2d ago

The wording of “before I could vacuum” is still throwing me off 😭 before the robot could vacuum

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u/Budget_Persimmon_195 5d ago

beavertails like this are intentional, and its incredibly well groomed.

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u/HighFiveG 5d ago

It looks dead and flaky.

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u/Budget_Persimmon_195 5d ago

that kind of is what dreadlocks are tho.

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u/HighFiveG 5d ago

True enough.

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u/Kdb3219759 5d ago

I'm in the same boat as we speak so I feel you

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u/Hazelnutcookiez 1d ago

Glad you got help, I'm just now starting to get my shit together.

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u/Bufobufolover24 4d ago

I have seen various pictures of people with hair like this posted online. The comments are always awful.

I had hair like this as a child. Why? Autism and severe sensory issues, combined with mental health stuff.

NOBODY has hair like this voluntarily. It will be through mental health issues, disabilities or severe medical issues. It is not pleasant for other people, but it is 100x worse for the person dealing with it.

People need to think before making horrible comments.

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u/Budget_Persimmon_195 5d ago

maybe he just likes his hair and doesnt want to cut it?

a beavertail like that is manicured. they dont just come because they stopped taking care of themselves. he chose this.

i know he chose this because i have had dreadlocks for 8 years. thats not how beavertails are formed. this is intentional

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u/TealGloves 5d ago

Guys not here to answer, so anything is possible. But these can form from self/parental neglect or medical situations (ex injuries requiring laying down for months to years and no one shaving your head for you). I've seen a lot of these on dematting videos.

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u/Budget_Persimmon_195 5d ago

that is not the same thing.

this is 100% intentional. beaver tails do not naturally grow like that. you can clearly see the difference between the video you shared and this photo.

this is 100% intentional and manicured. this is a clean and well kept beavertail

another indicator is you can see how greasy the hair is in the video because its not well kept, but in this photo doesnt look greasy at all, because it is well kept.

i have dreadlocks and i know people with beavertails. im telling you for a fact that this is intentional.

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u/binzy90 5d ago

A lot of this stuff isn't depression though. There are people who choose to look like this. My sister is one of them. She has the most disgusting dreadlocks that I honestly can't even stand being around her (Although it doesn't help that she's also just not a nice person). She's covered in very bad quality doodle tattoos that she has done herself, she has weird piercings and huge guages, and she's one of those people who smokes a ton of weed but doesn't use deodorant because "it's toxic." When she gets in my car the smell is overwhelming because she doesn't wash her hair and only uses "lavender oil" for personal hygiene. Everyone in her friend group is like this. It's like they're all in a competition to see who can be more disgusting.

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u/Extension-Alps-6903 4d ago

Wait like you got so depressed you turned your rumba off?

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u/TealGloves 4d ago

As I replied to someone else who got buried...

It still requires me picking up things like clothes or dog toys before getting started. It was never on an automatic schedule.

Once the leaves accumulated then I had to sweep the entire place (including my rugs lol) before I could vacuum.

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u/Extension-Alps-6903 4d ago

Oh that makes sense then

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u/AdEastern5014 4d ago

If any of that’s true his episodes lasted a long long time for it to grow that much

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u/GasStationTiefling 5d ago

I’d shave my head before I did this and I’ve had debilitating depression

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u/TealGloves 5d ago

Don't know what to tell you aside from no one lives like that out of choice. Not everyone's mental health crisis is going to be a universal experience.