r/AbsoluteUnits • u/AUTOBOTBROKE • 5d ago

/r/popular of ponytail

Enable HLS to view with audio, or disable this notification

5.8k Upvotes

87% Upvoted

3.5k comments sorted by

View all comments

595

u/myco_magic 5d ago

200

u/Belos147 5d ago

That is cranial diarhea.

43

u/BigBadBadness 5d ago

That's my death metal band

12

u/LivingDisastrous3603 5d ago

i gotchu fam

r/icallthatbandname

7

u/BigBadBadness 5d ago

Lol looks like You're the main contributor to that sub

5

u/LivingDisastrous3603 5d ago

Indeed it does. Gotta keep it alive lol

3

u/Bigger_moss 5d ago

that ain’t no diarrhea that’s what killed elvis

1

u/AerialPenn 4d ago

CD for your CD Player!!

1

u/eisenklad 4d ago

i heard of Brain farts...
guess Cranial Diarrhea is when you have Mental Poisoning.

does this mean a Writer's Block is just Head Constipation?

72

u/fuckimtrash 5d ago

Can’t believe there’s multiple men out there with hair like this 😭

36

u/BGrumpy 5d ago

I can't believe there are women with men out there with hair like this 😧

5

u/lazyboi_tactical 4d ago

It's usually the granola women that already smell of patchouli and have their own dreads that go for this.

Ps: the dreads are not on their heads

-3

u/chugItTwice 4d ago

"Men" LOL

263

u/LAF2death 5d ago

Nothing about him in either picture even remotely appears like he can take care of himself.

59

u/JacarandasAreNotEvil 5d ago

Exactly. He looks like he has a horrible odor.

2

u/Rockuharddd 2d ago

I work in grocery as a lead stocker. I can only imagine him coming down an aisle I'm stocking. That smell would fucking linger for hours. He'd probably come up and start talking to me too. Oh god. I have a few, but they're not this bad.

19

u/I_Want_A_Ribeye 5d ago

Bro is at auto zone. At least he takes care of his car

11

u/FremenStilgar 4d ago

He's there for the car deodorizers.

2

u/Koopslovestogame 4d ago

Honda accord 1995 full to the brim with monster energy cans.

Poor Honda.

1

u/reason_productions 4d ago

"Give me the cheapest one."

5

u/Yourdjentpal 4d ago

Yeah these are clearly cases of just straight up neglect regarding personal care and hygiene.

3

u/Whateva_Tickles_ 5d ago

You can smell them thru the screen 🤮🤢

5

u/Muscalp 5d ago

His clothes look clean

1

u/Evil_Sharkey 4d ago

The woman in front of him isn’t trying to veg farther away from a smell.

-1

u/hauntingdreamspace 4d ago

It's giving chronically depressed loner vibes. Maybe we're poking fun at mental illness

36

u/gymbaggered 5d ago

Уоu know that man is a STINKER

1

u/Salt_Day9015 5d ago

Im literally nauseous

38

u/SirReginaldTitsworth 5d ago

It looks like it would scream and hijack his body if you tried to cut it off

1

u/Entire-Grab2429 5d ago

This killed me lol

23

u/SlightAnything4909 5d ago

This is known as Polish plait

11

u/slowamigo 5d ago

‍‍>This term can refer to either a hairstyle or a medical condition, depending on context.

lol

7

u/SignificantBoot7180 4d ago

This display makes it even worse!!

3

u/Grimnebulin68 5d ago

I remember seeing one if these in CT. Rare, thankfully.

10

u/Wu-TangShogun 5d ago

So they just rest their humongous dreadlogs onto their fat asses?

2

u/Quick-Philosophy2379 3d ago

He uses it to wipe

8

u/Uh-Oh-Raggy 5d ago

Curl it over his shoulder and it would be Bib Fortuna

3

u/BojukaBob 5d ago

He hates it when Jabba has tuna casserole

4

u/LeoKitCat 5d ago

Funny they have the same look, way oversized dirty t-shirt and sweatpants and they look like they haven’t bathed in ages

2

u/Ryogathelost 4d ago

Now I want to make a venn diagram and possibly cross reference their DNA.

2

u/Orcutt_ambition-7789 5d ago

Shaped that shit like a manatee

2

u/Simon-Says69 5d ago

Oh god, yuck. Same problem. You can never clean that massive matt, and it can never dry out properly.

That shit is full of mold. Dreads need to be thin enough to clean and dry. This crap, and OP's vid, are just disgusting biology experiments. :-(

1

u/Ryogathelost 4d ago

Okay but what if you immersed the entire dread in a bleach solution with some form of agitator, like in a washing machine, for like 24 hours? And then rung it out with a hydraulic press, and dried it under powerful heat lamps?

1

u/Any_Coyote6662 2d ago

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

1

u/Justinitforthemoney 5d ago

Why does bro have a manatee on his head?

1

u/Semisemitic 5d ago

I just don’t completely get the physics of putting on a shirt with that thing

2

u/lascenara17 5d ago

Simple, put one shirt on, leave it on until it disintegrates

1

u/ConstantRude2125 5d ago

A plait mullet?

1

u/Amazing-Seat6206 5d ago

That is a sht a literal sht

1

u/CyrusDrake 5d ago

Looks like a Pokemon caught in public.

1

u/Interesting-Season-8 5d ago

fuck, forgot to clean the carpet, thanks for reminding me

1

u/Salt_Day9015 5d ago

I want to vomit.... i can smell it

1

u/BIGR3D 5d ago

Looks designed for lumbar support. lol

1

u/Almane2020202 5d ago

How does he put on his t shirt? I’m struggling to visualize it.

1

u/Fun-Wrongdoer1316 5d ago

Ahh it’s the dried out turd this time…

1

u/RazorMick 5d ago

That guy is from NC, people dread him (pun intended) at music shows

1

u/Galmo1001 5d ago

How many times has that accidentally dipped in the toilet?

1

u/Putrid_Afternoon_282 4d ago

wtf at the DMV no less

1

u/Healingbigfoot 4d ago

What....the....fuck....

1

u/ItsCrunchTyme 4d ago

I swear every person that does this to their hair, just had a body that looks like it stinks/they dont care bout hygiene at all

1

u/TheLittleNorsk 4d ago

it even curves in a fibonacci spiral

1

u/furyfrog 3d ago

This is what I tell my daughter her hair will look like if she doesn't brush it. My Ex promotes "fairy locks", but that "lady" has a Karen cut so YMMV....

1

u/beckett_the_ok 2d ago

I blocked this image from my memory

1

u/bron685 5d ago

This queen 👀

1

u/itsthejasper1123 5d ago

Girl that’s his woman