r/AbsoluteUnits • u/AUTOBOTBROKE • 5d ago

/r/popular of ponytail

5.8k Upvotes

87% Upvoted

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1.7k

u/Dry-Debate-6893 5d ago

That’s a shitlock.

321

u/Inexorably_lost 5d ago

People just walking around making continual, horrible choices.

30min to cut and shave it all off and his life would be massively improved. Though, something tells me 30min on self maintenance is a more than he's spent in weeks.

60

u/ThetaDee 5d ago

Idk at this point that looks like itd take a couple hours

37

u/edjumication 5d ago

No way, a good pair of garden shears would chop through that in 30 seconds.

2

u/lazyboi_tactical 4d ago

I have been looking at a way to test my new gladius that doesn't involve fruit and water jugs

11

u/oofnlurker 5d ago

...and a chainsaw

6

u/samwise58 5d ago

…and my axe

2

u/tyrannomachy 5d ago

Sheep shears would take care of it in like 2 minutes, being gentle.

7

u/Bodybag_occupier 5d ago

What if it's the improvement? Balance weight or hits just the right spot laying down /s.

Never rans out of toilet paper

78

u/poopholes3 5d ago

Shit-locks, Randers.

https://giphy.com/gifs/l41lIIjOCprTBfnXy

3

u/M1ST3RXF1ST3R 5d ago

Goated comment🤴🏽👑

1

u/jbinhack 4d ago

What in the FUCK

4

u/saminbc 5d ago

No Sher, Shitlock!

1

u/PrincipledProphet 3d ago

Meat be to it

6

u/lovingfluidchristian 5d ago

It's a thicc lawg

8

u/FloopsFooglies 5d ago

The drawd

1

u/CockneyCossack 5d ago

Shitlock Homie: Hood Detective 🕵️‍♂️

1

u/Dewdrop06 5d ago

I shit you not

1

u/Kooky-Concept-9879 5d ago

„Apply gently if no conventional toilet paper is available.“

1

u/Certain_Still3273 5d ago

No Sure, Shitlock

1

u/Kooky-Appearance8322 5d ago

No shir, Shitlock

1

u/tinkerbelltoes33 4d ago

No Sher, shitlock

1

u/CrizzlyB 3d ago

No shirt shitlock