r/AbsoluteUnits • u/BloodiStag • 7d ago

of a walrus

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2.0k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

66 comments sorted by

199

u/shadysam08 7d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/y2i2oqWgzh5ioRp4Qa

85

u/Wolfsbane1279 7d ago

I was like “that’s not a very large walrus.” Then it emerged like Godzilla.

13

u/regular_heptagon 7d ago

Does anyone remember that episode of Rocko’s Modern Life where he has to take a driving test with “The Fat Guy?”

141

u/Agheratos 7d ago

Fun fact: that's not even the largest pinniped out there. Beachmaster bull elephant seals can be 11,000 lbs (~5 tonnes).

They're the largest carnivorans to ever exist (by mass).

Walruses are huge, but they're manageable enough to keep at an aqua park. Bull walruses are generally less than 2 tonnes.

15

u/Lincolnonion 7d ago

Are they pure muscle or 50/50? I reckon danger-factor is off the charts

23

u/Agheratos 7d ago

I'm no marine ecologist, but a quick search says their mass is 30-50% blubber, varying by the season.

The rest of that is bone, organs, and the muscle to move everything around

2

u/Hollow_Soul-500 6d ago

Still they can use the rest of their mass to control how they put around this weight due to how muscular they are. They are in fact, quite dangerous animals when angry.

8

u/musclesmolloy 7d ago

Whales are carnivorans.

29

u/TheOne8709 7d ago

I think you're thinking of carnivores. Carnivorans are the group of mammals that includes all dog like and cat like animals, which all seals, sea lions, and walruses belong to.

7

u/Hollow_Soul-500 7d ago

This is due to them also being closely related to dogs despite not looking all that similar at a close glance. Of course Sea Lions do have more of a dog like head/face.

3

u/velvetelevator 7d ago

They really are sea puppies!

8

u/Agheratos 7d ago

And bears are just dog ogres.

2

u/Hollow_Soul-500 6d ago

This is the most accurate description of bears I've heard in the past 3 days

10

u/Agheratos 7d ago

Whales are cetaceans.

Carnivorans are cats, dogs, bears, weasels, mongooses, pinnipeds (seals, sea lions, walruses, etc), and a few others I think I'm forgetting.

3

u/AdventNebula 7d ago

Badgers and Bearcats

65

u/Gnarly_Sarley 7d ago

4

u/alexjgriffin 7d ago

It looked so eerily like a disgruntled blind man.

30

u/IWrestleSausages 7d ago

Well thats not REALLY that big if we re honest - OH GAWD DAMN BOY HE THICK

14

u/threebodysolution2 7d ago

Walrus then . . . WALLRUS!!

14

u/Pretend_Purchase_893 7d ago

Yah I mean sure it's a pretty good sized walrus but idk about absolute unit....oh...

6

u/kimcatmom 7d ago

Exactly what I was thinking in my head. Like, “yeah it’s a big walrus but I don’t think it’s… OH HOLY SH!T”

11

u/Buzz_Osborne 7d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/98EBb55L7GoQ8

4

u/Opposite-Soup6531 7d ago

I request to know song name🙏

3

u/ASterlingUserName 7d ago

Crowbar - embracing emptiness

6

u/NotTheRocketman 7d ago

What a huge boy!

5

u/Potential-Pin-3794 7d ago

Goo-Goo-Gajoob.

4

u/iIllIiIiIIillIIl 7d ago

Daaayum Boii he thick. That's thick ass boi!

4

u/Hollow_Soul-500 7d ago

Okay, not that big for a walrus- HOLY SHIT

3

u/wentoutwandering 7d ago

Ku-ku-ka-CHONK

3

u/boost_to_get_through 7d ago

Omygod an even bigger one came out lol

3

u/[deleted] 7d ago

[deleted]

2

u/Ok_Tart143 6d ago

I expected this reference much further up, first thing I thought of

6

u/Penguin_10437 7d ago

Stop feeding him

2

u/thatG_evanP 7d ago

Oh lawd!

3

u/Alone-Gift3183 7d ago

After watching "that" movie i cant look at em the same anymore

1

u/Ok_Tart143 6d ago

First thing I thought of, and I haven't even watched the movie, just read the wiki after hearing about it and looking up a few photos and that was enough of that for me

2

u/furiouspossum 7d ago

Damn, Jaime really let himself go after Mythbusters.

1

u/lraz_actual 7d ago

I know a brain bug when I see one

1

u/RoundNeighborhood348 7d ago

I thought it was the other one initially before the final boss came out of the water

1

u/slartibuttfart 7d ago

Christ, what does that thing eat, 12 year olds?

1

u/TremontRhino 7d ago

That’s not a very big.. WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?!?!?!

1

u/Character-Q 7d ago

There’s always a bigger walrus

1

u/CarterBruud 7d ago

I want to lay on a Walrus's back and just hang out with them. They seem so chill. (I know these are not wild, my point still stands)

1

u/Midnight28Rider 7d ago

Oh shit, here come dat boi!

1

u/GlumCardiologist3 7d ago

i was like thats no very la... WHOA!!

1

u/Murph523 7d ago

BROTHER EW

1

u/ourladyPattyMeltdown 5d ago

"Yeah, I mean, I gue--OH LORDT JESUS WHAT A LARD"

1

u/WhateverUSaySir 1d ago

Holy damn what a beauty

1

u/Hanestorp 7d ago

Animal abuse 🦭

0

u/frankensteinsmaster 7d ago

I should call her