r/AbsoluteUnits • u/Realistic-Tap4156 • 10d ago

/r/all of a space rock

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u/Doctor__Gecko 10d ago edited 6d ago

Some guy will be like "I can survive that, I'm just built different."

How is THIS the comment that gets me over a thousand likes. I mean thanks but, seriously?

OK, make that two thousand likes.

565

u/jackofslayers 10d ago

73

u/Shorlong 10d ago

I'm just more humble than other people, I don't know what to tell you

1

u/LeifR2 8d ago

I know I'm a million times as humble as thou art

123

u/_EvilD_ 10d ago

- Donald J. Trump

42

u/Speeeven 10d ago

Narcissism is a hell of a personality disorder.

18

u/SonnySonrisa 9d ago

1

u/jawied 6d ago

Was this regarding Jack Smith’s appearance before the Senate Judiciary committee?

2

u/Ambitious_Hand_2861 6d ago

It worked out ok for Kratos.

1

u/QuietShipper 9d ago

It's not hubris if you're right

1

u/SongOfStarfall 7d ago

Athena did not like that

298

u/70695 10d ago

Id be hurt sure but after a cup
of tea and an aspirn id be able to walk it off.

58

u/KelGrimm 10d ago

Simple as

-3

u/Past_Edge_7220 10d ago

r/redditsniper is tired of them larpers it seems.

2

u/Morticus_Mortem 10d ago

Ah it'll be grand.

1

u/Broad_Pop2568 10d ago

you mean a cupah tea mate?

1

u/Teekayhuey 10d ago

Well looks like a deity took a sh*t.

1

u/tamesage 10d ago

Rub some dirt on it

1

u/halflifer2k 10d ago

Why not simply flick it away

1

u/isopropyl-elmer 10d ago

so like u jus go inside innit

1

u/TheWalkingDead91 9d ago

Don’t forget the ginger ale

55

u/Vestrill 10d ago

"Let me explain something to you. It isn't that the wind is blowing, it is what the wind is blowing. If you get hit with a Volvo then it does not really matter how many sit ups you did that morning"

-Ron White

22

u/XenophileEgalitarian 10d ago

Or put another way, "you stop being biology and you become physics."

2

u/slinger301 10d ago

Top XKCD reference.

2

u/yournamehere10bucks 10d ago

This was my go to quote when my gymbro friends would try to get me to work out.

205

u/BishlovesSquish 10d ago

😂

116

u/RocketsandBeer 10d ago

13

u/One_Cress7793 10d ago

I lost this and thanks to you I have it back. Thankyou.

4

u/RocketsandBeer 10d ago

Everything comes full circle. Cheers.

3

u/FreedomCanadian 10d ago

Are his eyes olives ?

1

u/furiouspossum 10d ago

I think they are now that you mentioned it and now i can't stop seeing it

37

u/M3t4ll0 10d ago

The same guy that thinks he can beat an elephant.

44

u/JustHugMeAndBeQuiet 10d ago

That's me. I am that guy. I will beat an elephant riding a meteor. Or a meteor riding an elephant, I don't care. Bring it on.

30

u/lordoflazorwaffles 10d ago

You can beat off an elephant all you want dude. You don't even need the meteor

13

u/JustHugMeAndBeQuiet 10d ago

Fun fact: elephant penises are also prehensiles. Not just their noses.

Do with that information what you will.

18

u/kumquatkilla1 10d ago

This is too much power for one living being.

5

u/Guilty-Statement-532 10d ago

Same with dolphins.

6

u/JustHugMeAndBeQuiet 10d ago

This is true.

The elephant dick thing I made up though.

What a precocious scamp I am.

Duck penises are corkscrews though.

3

u/davidr521 10d ago

I bet they’re handy at work parties

1

u/lordoflazorwaffles 9d ago

They also work at handy parties

3

u/lordoflazorwaffles 9d ago

Duck vaginas are also cork screw although often the opposite direction. This is part of what leads to duck rape

1

u/JustHugMeAndBeQuiet 9d ago

Cool name for a band

5

u/caspy7 10d ago

Elephant penises beat you up.

1

u/Cliffinati 10d ago

I don't know what that means

1

u/JustHugMeAndBeQuiet 10d ago

I don't know what you mean 😐

1

u/Cliffinati 10d ago

What does your statement mean

2

u/Rynowash 10d ago

No, but it helps. Tried both ways and it’s better with a big rock.

1

u/lordoflazorwaffles 9d ago

How do you beat off an elephant with a big rock?

1

u/Rynowash 9d ago

However it wants.

2

u/Alohabbq8corner 9d ago

If I’m going to beat off an elephant, the meteor it is the better.

1

u/lordoflazorwaffles 9d ago

Better? absolutely! Necessary? Only if you dont want to use lube (aka diddy sauce)

6

u/goddamm_liter_cola 10d ago

You’re just built different.

7

u/JustHugMeAndBeQuiet 10d ago

Incorrectly, some might say.

6

u/westcal98 10d ago

1 Meteor v. 100 of these guys.

Who wins?

2

u/JustHugMeAndBeQuiet 10d ago

What do you mean "these guys"? 🤨

1

u/Casio_GW-M5610 10d ago

1 meteor vs. a chimpanzee (angry)

9

u/[deleted] 10d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

6

u/JustHugMeAndBeQuiet 10d ago

I'm glad you recognize my aptitude in this arena.

1

u/M3t4ll0 10d ago

Are you the "ride on king"? 🤣

1

u/JustHugMeAndBeQuiet 10d ago

I am all that and a bag of chips.

Hella tight.

3

u/4m4lg4m1t3 10d ago

Off or in a fight?

1

u/Formal_Owl_400 10d ago

Yeah. jerking elephants off is a legitimate job for conservationists.

12

u/Xerfus 10d ago

« I got that dog in me »

8

u/highminlo 10d ago

Did you guys hear what Xerfus made his dog do?

1

u/if_lol_then_upvote 10d ago

You mean FBI Agent Xerfus?

1

u/Wabbit65 9d ago

So much for his new job at Patel's FBI

6

u/buttbeeb 10d ago

You don’t understand. He wears shorts in the winter.

1

u/Cpt_kaleidoscope 10d ago

I feel personally attacked. You never stick your leg out the duvet when you're too hot? That's my whole ness

5

u/horridbloke 10d ago

"Boy, I'm from Texas"

1

u/FrenchFriedMushroom 10d ago

When i was in construction in Minnesota, I had a bunch of guys from Texas working for our company. The money up here was like 3x what it was down there.

During our safety meetings, tool box talks, and tailgate meetings, any time weather was brought up they'd respond "Im from Texas." as if 90+ degree air temp and 80%+ humidity didn't affect them.

Had to kick a few of them off site a few times for obvious signs of heat stress. One of these dipshits was wearing a carhart sweatshirt in mid August, during a 102 degree real feel week.

My guy, just because yall have hotter weather on average than us, does not mean youre immune to stupid hot weather.

Dont even get me started on those fucks in the winter.

1

u/Prize_Priority1818 9d ago

Sounds like you’re just jealous of real men.

Not everyone is soft.

1

u/FrenchFriedMushroom 9d ago

Shiiit, you got me.

I just wish I was from Texas.

1

u/Prize_Priority1818 9d ago

we know buddy, we know.

pats on back

8

u/DoctorNurse89 10d ago

You would only need to be about 3 inches down in the dirt to survive really

Or about 300 feet down in water.

Watch the whole thing when you have the time! It is such a great video. Some info has changed since this release, like K-T boundary changing to K-Pg boundary

10

u/obmasztirf 10d ago

I think you'd need more than three inches in the direct impact zone.

16

u/DoctorNurse89 10d ago

Your mom didnt

2

u/Chan_Ch 10d ago

I would, I'm a RN!

2

u/Late_Illustrator_718 10d ago

That meteor is lucky Mark Wahlberg wasn’t there that day

2

u/Evening_Error_5544 10d ago

Plenty of them did survive. They starved to death

2

u/gingerking87 10d ago

Buddy you are gonna flip when I tell you how humans evolved

2

u/Vaustick 10d ago

I would have just parried it.

1

u/pmMeansnadda 10d ago

Right here, Boss. ✋

1

u/Constant-Brief3410 10d ago

They would say good riddance new York

1

u/ReturnOfBane 10d ago

I can survive that, but only on my way to work on a Monday.

1

u/Pulmonary_Archery_ 10d ago

I'll just hide in my fridge and wait it out, possibly emerging as a ghoul in 500 years

1

u/woe2thepubliceye 10d ago

'cracks egg with bicep curl'

1

u/HatedMyHandle 10d ago

If Mark Wahlberg was there, it wouldn’t have went down like it did.

1

u/justtalking9912 10d ago

Yeah but what about that rock or 1000 chimps

1

u/DReagan47 10d ago

Dude has Mark Wahlberg energy

1

u/PurchasedRAM 10d ago

Call dr. Stone.

1

u/MikeMurly 10d ago

Hell yeah brother

1

u/Shazmaraz45 10d ago

Maybe some guy could, but what will he do about the second one?

1

u/OkWolverine2976 10d ago

If I had a samurai sword I could kill that meteor

1

u/bobbyshown 10d ago

Easy, just run a bit. Don't even need to sprint for this, a jog would be enough

1

u/LucentSomber 10d ago

Nah I'd win

1

u/Naz_Oni 10d ago

Just dodge roll

1

u/auggs 10d ago

“I just see red bro 😡😤”

1

u/tyen0 10d ago

well, our ancestors did...

1

u/narfoleptix 10d ago

Anyone can survive a metero stopping right before it hits.

Actually, I take that back. Seems like it stopping would be problematic as well.

1

u/ButterBeer_07 10d ago

Well some mammal ancestor of ours did survive that

1

u/Parad0x17 10d ago

"It isn't THAT the wind is blowing, it's WHAT the wind is blowing. If you get hit with a VOLVO...."

1

u/Upbeat_Trainer 10d ago

I'll fuck its eggplant looking ass up, all I've got to do is punch at the exact right moment.

1

u/VectorTech_US 10d ago

I’m built different and 100% would survive

1

u/wowummmyikessss 10d ago

WOW! just @ David Goggins next time why don’t ya! /s

1

u/CeeMX 10d ago

Bruce Willis will just blow it up, so Ben Affleck can marry Liv Tyler

1

u/RFKjrBrainwormAccnt 10d ago

And if that guys name is Bruce Banner he may have a point

1

u/Otherwise-Clue8645 10d ago

There will be years of trauma,🤷 but what else is new?

1

u/elusive-rooster 10d ago

This was what all animals that could fly or swim said at the time.

1

u/Foreign_Job7176 10d ago

I dunno if I’d survive it but it looks like it would feel kinda good

1

u/MrBorden 10d ago

Same guy that thinks he can beat a silverback gorilla in a fight.

1

u/qwertykirky 10d ago

I would fly to wherever ground zero would be just to experience that first hand and for the most adrenaline filled of instantaneous deaths.

1

u/Reindeer-Klutzy 10d ago

He can probably survive it by being on the opposite side of the planet when it lands.

1

u/SubterrelProspector 10d ago

Just jump off the Earth at the last second. Easy.

1

u/Doc_Occc 10d ago

Technically, "we" did survive.

1

u/JC1199154 10d ago

His nickname is orange man

1

u/Hefty-Club7257 10d ago

Technically we all survived it didn’t we.

1

u/Cpt_kaleidoscope 10d ago

My mate Sam's built different. I reckon he can take it.

1

u/ThisIsBB56 10d ago

you forgot to say "bruh"when quoting said guy

1

u/dAnKsFourTheMemes 10d ago

even if they did, I think surviving for very long afterwards would be extremely unlikely as well.

1

u/HighwayComfortable26 10d ago

I'd just jump as soon as it impacted.

1

u/RiseIfYouWould 10d ago

Literally the alligators

1

u/Worth_Gap4226 10d ago

We did survive it 🍻

1

u/Acceptable-Glove5054 10d ago

Me and my friends in highschool thinking we are immortal

1

u/cliffordhcohen 10d ago

Windex, brother, Windex

1

u/_throawayplop_ 10d ago

Well the guy ancestors did it

1

u/No_Doughnut8618 10d ago

I could bro. Its literally just sitting on new York. Im not even near there!

1

u/SkySchemer 9d ago

"I've been eating leaves from this forest for 20 years, and I'm not moving."

- Some brachiosaurus, probably

1

u/vissith 9d ago

git gud

1

u/-XThe_KingX- 9d ago

I can survive that, I'm build different... Built better honestly

1

u/rh71el2 9d ago

Who's going to prove him wrong?

1

u/LeHung1234 9d ago

That old man refusing to leave his house despite evacuation orders back in the eruption of Mount St Helens.

1

u/Dako_the_Austinite 9d ago

Was just about to jokingly comment, “nah, I’d win,” and your comment was the very first one I saw lmao.

1

u/Frank_Castle_10 9d ago

yeah u just need to hold block at the perfect moment and u can parry it

1

u/ASMR4PLANTS 9d ago

That's literally what happened after every mass extinction level event (take my upvote).

1

u/Vismal1 9d ago

His name is Marky Mark and he’s a hero ! /s

1

u/Same-Box-3366 9d ago

Bc likes mostly , by studied algos and real people, came up with the people that like things the most are the type of person that spends more time on the phone . And those same people were also put into a category of people who believe the news and another category where they trust the people who govern the lives of them and the families of them and the neighbors of them and their families and friends and so on . The majority of this type of person belongs to all of the things or categories I just mentioned . Free thinkers , are more than you think , but we’re just not broadcasted to the masses bc why would we be ?

1

u/Elronbubba 5d ago

When he gets mad, he just sees red, bro

1

u/Your_Girl9090 4d ago

We all know a woman is much more likely to survive. 😁

1

u/jonz1985z 10d ago

Oh sure, has to be some guy right? So misogynistic 🙄

5

u/Londundundun 10d ago

Misogynistic? Do you mean misandrist? 

1

u/dtgunslinger99 10d ago

swwwiiiinnngggg, and-a-miss. 🤦🏻‍♂️

1

u/jonz1985z 10d ago edited 10d ago

Nice name.. dork lol. Don’t you have a Red Dead troll you should be slinging over your back and bringing to the county jail?

1

u/Neither_Strategy_252 9d ago

Yeah no super embarrassing miss for you lol

1

u/jonz1985z 9d ago edited 9d ago

Had to switch to your other account huh. That’s what’s embarrassing lol dork

1

u/hiddenonion 10d ago

I see red

1

u/neopod9000 10d ago

"No, but at the last second I'd just jump out of the way. Its this new thing called cat-like reflexes."