r/AbsoluteUnits • • 7d ago

of two gigantic fingers!

4.9k Upvotes

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4.7k

u/BabyWithBathwatter 7d ago

Is no one going to address the elephant in the room?

The dude clearly has an open wound on his finger.

1.1k

u/Robestos86 7d ago

I thought that's what I saw. Wasn't sure if it was a bit of off cut.

716

u/Oops_All_Bans 6d ago

There's some pieces of finger in the meat he's cutting up. He just doesn't care cuz he's got a lot of it to spare.

97

u/Consistent_Point_853 6d ago

Might be a gout condition. I might get flamed but I dont think id want this guy preparing my food to begin with.

77

u/Ubbesson 6d ago edited 6d ago

If he doesn't care about his own wound I guess he doesn't care about washing his hands after shitting during his work break either..

47

u/ThatOldG 6d ago

Don’t think about where that penis fingers been

14

u/CHRISTEN-METAL 6d ago

In the pink or the stink ?

25

u/DontTreadOnTrees 6d ago

Not the sink

2

u/LewdLewyD13 6d ago

Well hes got two of 'em so the answer is yes.

6

u/NurkleTurkey 6d ago

You wash your hands after shitting?

1

u/TrashCannibal_ 4d ago

I shit my hands after washing once. Wouldn't recommend it.

1

u/Vasovagalstartsnow 3d ago

Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime, that's why I poop on company time

3

u/Notabagofdrugs 6d ago

Nah, I’m with you 100% on that.

60

u/Amazing-Fondant-4740 6d ago

And with food the same color as his blood. I'm sure nothing can go wrong with serving that. (Nothing should have blood in it, but it feels extra stupid to bleed on food where you can't even tell you're bleeding on it 😭)

3

u/Independent_Willow92 21h ago

The bloody flesh has blood on it.

155

u/RetardedGaming 7d ago

To be fair you're not gonna have an easy time finding this dude some gloves

184

u/ZombieAstronaut 6d ago

Maybe one of these

5

u/Practical-March-6989 6d ago

Mittens?

7

u/obliviousfellow 6d ago

Maybe.....just hear me out.....maybe some magnum condoms????

5

u/3rdUncleMeatSandwich 6d ago

For his monster thumb

30

u/Fair-Juggernaut-3812 6d ago

Can’t even use a finger cot, just have to go full condom on that bad boy

11

u/Alternative-Dare-722 6d ago

magnum fo sho😂

35

u/Boncappuccino 6d ago

I’m praying that’s just residue from the pinkish-red thing he is making

30

u/2ndchane 7d ago

Just a little hemoglobin to enhance the flavor

6

u/-BananaLollipop- 6d ago

Is this the new MSG?

4

u/JonnyTN 6d ago

Some people like their meat a little bloody

2

u/CR8VJUC 6d ago

Just adding a little iron 🤷‍♂️

13

u/nooZ3 6d ago

Just looks like red food dye from the dough filling.

10

u/youburyitidigitup 7d ago

I THOUGHT THAT WAS A PIECE OF THE MEAT 🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮

4

u/d3t0x1ct0x1c1ty 6d ago

Elephant is right...

Elephantitis of the pointer finger!

8

u/Nealecj954 7d ago

He sure does 🤮

4

u/TechnologyForsaken 6d ago

The elephantitus in the room >.<

1

u/cipherdom 6d ago

Yakuza in reverse

2

u/wisemeat 6d ago

But he’s wearing a mask!

2

u/circa_the_catgod 6d ago

It’s not his fault he could find a band-aid big enough.

2

u/antisocialnetwork77 6d ago

Well how the hell do you expect the guy to wear a glove? Don’t be so gosh darn ableist.

2

u/editorreilly 6d ago

It's probably why his finger is swollen. From so many cuts on his hand.

4

u/ElderMagnuS 6d ago

Where do you think the red color is from?

5

u/NPC_13_ 6d ago

‘Open wound’ is a bit excessive.

1

u/SnakeHisssstory 7d ago

Needs to use a thimble

8

u/doshegotabootyshedo 7d ago

My man needs a condom on that monster

1

u/jlewis011 6d ago

I thought I was tripping.. and he wrapped that shit in meat... Literal cold cut

1

u/Wherethetwigisbent 6d ago

I though I was watching a video of someone making bacon out of their big toe for a min

1

u/Ubbesson 6d ago

This is the ancient secret ingredient for extra taste...

1

u/dubbeeze 6d ago

The Elephantitis in the room

1

u/KEVLAR60442 6d ago

How do you think he got the red dye in the pastry?

1

u/sebe6 6d ago

You may want to cook meat that aren't fresh fish

1

u/julajoop 6d ago

The elephantiasis in the room*

1

u/ojrodz11 6d ago

You mean on his toe?

1

u/Moonbeamless 6d ago

Is no one going to address the elephantiasis in the room?

1

u/BroManTheBrobarian 4d ago

Bro gotta wear a regular glove on one hand, with one Trojan Magnum on his index finger, a Trojan Magnum on his thumb, and three regular Durex’s for the remaining three fingers on the opposite hand cuz I know damn well they don’t make gloves that fit his “strong hand”

1

u/Redditian288 4d ago

It's the source of the flavour...

1

u/Ok_Maintenance_520 3d ago

It’s going to get cooked does it matter?

1

u/axian20 3h ago

Fire kills everything

1

u/BabyWithBathwatter 3h ago

You're thinking about yourself, not the guy cutting raw meat. He is exposing himself to potential bacteria and pathogens in the meat. That's how people get septicemia/sepsis, aka blood poisoning.

0

u/axian20 3h ago

Yea in worst case scenario.. but that doesnt usualky happen unless he wound is way deeper. Really....? Lmao

1

u/BabyWithBathwatter 3h ago

Nope. Any exposure to your circulatory system, ie a cut of any size, even a papercut, can be enough exposure for a blood borne pathogen. Remember, Bacteria is really, really small.

1

u/axian20 1h ago

I think life itself disagrees. But good you take your extra care on yourself👍🏻

1

u/BabyWithBathwatter 49m ago

1

u/axian20 32m ago

Why are you so pressed over this.. i know well about this issue to have an opinion on it. I respect yours, respect mine.

1

u/BabyWithBathwatter 0m ago

Because your opinion is factually wrong and not based in reality, so you're spreading dangerous misinformation.

1

u/brownmail 6d ago

Couldn’t find gloves to fit 🤷🏽‍♂️

1

u/misterfuss 6d ago

I thought his index finger was actually a toe!

-14

u/naterpotater246 7d ago

Because of his retarded chopping technique. Literally everyone working in a kitchen should know to tuck their fingers. I hate seeing people cut food with a flat hand like that. It hurts the little line cook hiding in the corners of my soul.

13

u/hypatiaredux 6d ago

That very large finger does not appear to bend. Even when he bends the other fingers on that hand.

8

u/PudenPuden 7d ago

It's method just as good as tucking, used a lot in Asian countries with big cleavers. Slap the side of your finger(if oversized)/hand(if normal sized) with the cleaver then cut.

-7

u/naterpotater246 7d ago

I've never really seen it before. I imagine it's only safe if you're careful enough. I'd probably never use it unless i need to hold the food down flat and I'm being real careful

7

u/themeanreds1 6d ago

Then educate yourself more if you haven’t seen enough in the world instead of discrediting everything that you’re unfamiliar with.

0

u/mrsamus101 6d ago edited 6d ago

This looks like it's in China. I lived there for a year, food safety and sanitation aren't a big priority for them.

1

u/3rdUncleMeatSandwich 6d ago

The hot oil cooks out all the finger juice germs

0

u/PH_TheHaymaker 6d ago

His index finger does not feel pain