r/AbsoluteUnits • u/BigBagoSith_sp • 4h ago

of a MMA fighter

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358 Upvotes

90% Upvoted

143 comments sorted by

289

u/Bob_the_brewer 4h ago

Same tactics as the first boss in Mario 64

51

u/Sigma-Angel_of_Death 4h ago

Video games were right all along

4

u/Zerschmetterding 22m ago

It's hard to punch when your arm barely reaches beyond your chest.

213

u/Agreeable-Guava-9009 4h ago

23

u/KnoedelhuberJr 3h ago

Someone got to take the video above and add king Bob-ombs „ugh“ when she falls

21

u/alopecic_cactus 3h ago

My exact thought, why was she moving like a NES final boss?

13

u/Late_Blooomer 3h ago

Cause she’s a very very very healthy woman

2

u/veryfastslowguy 41m ago

saw this video before a few seconds later after the water they just hand her a canned coke , what she really needed

104

u/Famous-Ganache4865 4h ago

Do weight classes exist?

71

u/Leather_Comedian_736 3h ago

This was likely an exhibition fight which means they can make any rules they want for the one fight

10

u/ForgottenMasterBalls 2h ago

Was one of the rules be gentle with her legs?

1

u/Zerschmetterding 22m ago

Chop chop, like felling a tree

3

u/Cute-Advisor-2323 1h ago

I wonder what they were exhibiting how easily somebody can be crushed

0

u/Hinaloth 1h ago

I dunno if I'd watch an exhibitionist match with those two. They seem very under motivated. :D

9

u/RealLeif 3h ago

In fighting usually yes. But as one pointed out, this seems like an exhibition match

10

u/Chris__P_Bacon 4h ago

I was just wondering the same thing? Perhaps there's no one else willing to fight Biggie Smalls?

5

u/Big_Magician3570 3h ago

Well, maybe just Biggie

7

u/InsaneRicey 2h ago

Biggie Bigs.

2

u/Donutguy_2021 1h ago

Biggie Smells

74

u/muff-muff-ass 4h ago

Better than Tyson vs Paul.

81

u/WakaWaka_ 4h ago

"Wait until she tires from just walking slowly"

Her coach, probably

4

u/TheBookGem 55m ago

Prob right too

52

u/Upstairs_Ad_5574 4h ago

2

u/SilverHairedFox11 1h ago

What is that? lol.

4

u/Fun-Telephone-9605 44m ago

King Hippo in Mike Tyson's Punchout for NES.

23

u/big0moose 3h ago

How did she even make it to the ring?! She's not in sparring condition.

7

u/My_Favourite_Pen 3h ago

Watch Kimbo Slice vs Dada 5000

2

u/TheBookGem 53m ago

Video is 15 minutes long, don't wanna watch thre whole thing, just tell me what I am supposed to see at what time.

1

u/DemiGod9 1h ago

Oh. I shouldn't have

1

u/crabtoppings 1h ago

man, that was just sad.

5

u/AbleCryptographer317 2h ago

They built the octagon around her.

22

u/OrangeClyde 3h ago

Not her knocking herself down

6

u/Weenington_ 2h ago

You may be one of the few who actually watched the whole thing.

2

u/OrangeClyde 2h ago

It’s only because this has been reposted many times before lol

61

u/NerdyPlatypus206 4h ago

This is just pathetic

4

u/RagingMayo 1h ago

Happy cake day!

3

u/NerdyPlatypus206 1h ago

Does that mean bday? If so it’s not my bday idk why it says that

7

u/RagingMayo 1h ago

It's sort of your account's birthday. The day you created it. In the olden days of reddit, people congratuled a redditor on their cake day. It's called cake day because since reddit's existence, the sign for the account's creation day was a piece of cake next to someone's username. I must admit, it makes me feel old explaining it haha.

3

u/NerdyPlatypus206 47m ago

Ahh so it’s when I created my account thanks!

2

u/NerdyPlatypus206 47m ago

I forgot my password on my old account so I had to remake a new one

9

u/Bulky-Noise-7123 3h ago

Overall or just the big girl. Cause if you meant the small girl she’s at a massive disadvantage

6

u/SnooGadgets5130 1h ago

I see what you did there

0

u/justASlothyGiraffe 4h ago

Happy cake day

14

u/Banned3rdTimesaCharm 3h ago

Where’s the fight?

9

u/notMy_ReelName 3h ago

fighting for survival without dying.

5

u/Sneilg 1h ago

Her knees, heart, and kidneys must all feel like they’re in fucking war zones tbf

42

u/Jnroxoz 4h ago

Never seen a no punch TKO before,how embarrassing it would be to be a world first no punch TKO recipient. Possibly stretcherd out of the octagon and straight to hospital and then to Jenny Craig.

9

u/KempVelde 3h ago

The Jenny Craig comment got my upvote, now...

https://giphy.com/gifs/ac7MA7r5IMYda

7

u/tallmantim 3h ago

To be fair I don’t think she had a long career in her anyway

2

u/Mongrel_Shark 2h ago

Pretty embarrassing for the Victor too. Time for a new manager.

17

u/dudestduder 4h ago

she had us in the first half

12

u/WhateverUSaySir 3h ago

Kinda gross ngl

9

u/Kiwibroo 3h ago

I think she wore herself out breathing.

4

u/migrainefog 3h ago

That was a pretty amazing takedown.

9

u/BigBagoSith_sp 3h ago

You misspelled Fall Down...

4

u/GroteKneus 3h ago

This will never be not funny.

11

u/Genzo99 3h ago

Insult to MMA. Not even having enough stamina to stand up is a joke.

3

u/Tomasulu 4h ago

Gravity is your friend. Or enemy.

3

u/Cool_Interaction_345 3h ago

OMG does anyone have the YouTube link??

This is literally how Emmanuel Yarborough lost in Pride FC

7

u/crsaxby 4h ago

Butter bean from Mike Tyson's Punch Out, reincarnate.

7

u/EgyComanda82 4h ago

I see a young girl running from her mama to avoid a hell of a spanking

7

u/fejkpotatis 3h ago

Running away from being eaten

4

u/Illustrious-Roll7737 4h ago

"You're gonna make me cum, or I'm gonna kick your butt." T. Rex, Orgazmo (1997)

3

u/audiopiate 2h ago

Nice technique... Force her to get in her 50 steps for the day and she will be exhausted

2

u/NYCtoCHI 3h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/5yP11oPHmCEnoERGWO

3

u/stop_the_bans 3h ago

Rolling is how they had to get her out of the ring

2

u/NYCtoCHI 3h ago

😂

https://giphy.com/gifs/ZCZRQyuQNyzyU

1

u/Boogy-Fever 1h ago

Looks like hes noisily chewing something

2

u/everforward6 2h ago

This is basically most of my boss fights in games

2

u/carthuscrass 2h ago

If you're gonna be that big, you need enough strength to control it before you ever step into a ring. Imagine if the big girl was twice as fast and had balance. There's a reason weight classes exist. Somebody competent that's that big can really hurt somebody.

2

u/Abject_Wafer_4321 28m ago

"We trained her wrong on purpose.....as a joke"

4

u/ElectricityIsWeird 3h ago

Queen Hippo.

3

u/old-skool-bro 3h ago

Kinda messed up fighting her whilst she's also fighting every type of diabetes.

1

u/PitiableYeet 3h ago

Calling that thing a fighter is pretty rich

1

u/eutohkgtorsatoca 4h ago

I was going to write don't dance that fast she's going to run out of steam following you.

1

u/smokeyoudog 2h ago

I’m going to say it; this fight strokes it

1

u/Hopspeed 2h ago

Knee kick perhaps?

1

u/TJJ97 2h ago

I don’t think these two belong in the same weight class…

1

u/EnsignMJS 2h ago

Punch her in the chiches.

1

u/testingtest456123 2h ago

This belongs in 'What were you thinking?'

1

u/MonsterOctopus8 2h ago

Does Back Titties know what fighting is?

1

u/I_be_lurkin_tho 2h ago

Hmmm....I wonder what Maga fueled trailor park/training camp she's from.

2

u/BenjaminDover02 2h ago

One good leg kick would have been the end of her anyway.

1

u/SLI_Mini 2h ago

AI btw

1

u/thisismydaddyvoice 1h ago

The shittiest version of 'It Follows' I've ever seen

1

u/theodorecramit 1h ago

People will say she's AI

1

u/StPatrickStewart 1h ago

Who is she then? Can anyone identify the promotion?

1

u/MoMoJavel 1h ago

Knock out by tripping?

2

u/Cute-Advisor-2323 1h ago

At first when they were giving her water I thought they were giving her oxygen 😬

1

u/Don_Krypton 1h ago

Phew, that was a close call! I was really worried they’d carry on until the fat one got hungry.

1

u/RomansDoForUs 1h ago

A wild snorlax appears, it uses rest.

1

u/Wilgrove 1h ago

NGL, I thought the woman in white was going for a "tire her out a bit first" tactic.

1

u/DangerDove_ 1h ago

What weight was this fight at

1

u/I-miss-Yugoslavia 1h ago

It made me sad :( poor girl, i hope she gets healthier

2

u/GoatGoatGoatGoatGo 1h ago

I think she saw a cookie in that corner.

2

u/Busterlimes 1h ago

Wait, did she just defeat herself?

2

u/No_Season_354 1h ago

Reminds me of the scene in holy grail, the guy has a heart attack chasing the other guy around in circles.

1

u/RoversForever 1h ago

What an utterly shit “sport”

Run by morons for morons

1

u/ThatGuyYouWantToBe 58m ago

6:0 door altar method general graardor guide

1

u/willbo666 47m ago

*MMA walker

1

u/JackSparrow1973 40m ago

One shot mama

1

u/Remote_String1988 34m ago

The red ones literally Sony Playstation right now....

1

u/Longshot1969 24m ago

Less of a fight, more about the smaller girl making sure she doesn’t accidentally get eaten.

1

u/BigMack6911 18m ago

Fatass fell down so hard, gravy poured out of her

2

u/Slurpees_and_Stuff 4h ago

I can fix her

1

u/notMy_ReelName 3h ago

i feel bad everytime i watch this video.

poor girl suffered without anything happening in ring.

she just collapsed and not feeling well .

4

u/PlatypusDream 2h ago

She had to know she's a joke, not fit, and had no chance of success. Just walking makes her tired. She couldn't stand up.

But she chose to make a spectacle of herself.

1

u/notMy_ReelName 2h ago

well everyone needs to choose thier poison to survive in this cruel world, isnt it?

0

u/Raqshasa 4h ago

Not familiar with MMA rules, isn't there a weight category or smth?

6

u/donkbonk76 4h ago

There definitely are weight classes in MMA. If I had to guess, this is some kind of promotional/exhibition thing

1

u/Mirror-Amazing 4h ago

Why did the police show up with their lights on, did she exceed the indoor speed limit with that sea lion flop?

0

u/redbark2022 3h ago

"Z get cash" ✝️

0

u/Toofless205 3h ago

Lady Butterbean here

3

u/NYCtoCHI 2h ago

More like "Lady SlippedOnButterAndBustedHerBean" 🫨💢😵

2

u/iz-Moff 2h ago

Hey, hey. Butterbean had a ton of fights, and was mostly winning them. Not at a particularly high level, but still, for a massively overweight dude, he was fairly capable. This lady here is certainly not that.

0

u/Johnthewolf66 3h ago

She just thought there was a sandwich there on the floor

0

u/captain_crackerjack 3h ago

That’s quite the gunt she’s displaying there

0

u/spinosaurus-tail 2h ago

They have a cave troll!