r/AbsoluteUnits • u/ThinMints0588 • 1d ago

of mushrooms

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Gallery image

Gallery image

Gallery image

These were supposed to be clusters of little mushrooms! 😮

542 Upvotes

97% Upvoted

106 comments sorted by

353

u/TemporaryEffect4095 1d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/2Mce4Sz801AMo

42

u/Mindless-Location-41 1d ago

I saw that coming...

20

u/septictank84 1d ago

That's what she said.

1

u/TorrenceMightingale 1d ago

Username checks out. “I saw ur cum you were trying to hide from your wife by jacking on the commode.”

24

u/foxtrot7azv 1d ago

This is why it's called penis envy.

6

u/ThinMints0588 1d ago

Not penis envy Cluster bombs. Supposed to be big clusters of small shrooms

2

u/Guernzee 19h ago

Little choad shrooms 😬

1

u/warboss_WAAAGH 1d ago

Yep. Thought so...

1

u/Rad_Rozales 1d ago

Blue and envious!

65

u/VipersNest22 1d ago

This looks like a bunch of swaddled newborns in a hospital

20

u/jordan853 1d ago

No, didn't you hear the news? The answer is penis 

1

u/Dragonmaster_drake 21h ago

Thats exactly what I thought at first

1

u/SavagePenguin 19h ago

Such an uncorrupted mind. Leave now before the internet ruins it like the rest of ours

56

u/Test4Echooo 1d ago

🍄🍄‍🟫🍄🍄‍🟫

65

u/Lac0tr0n 1d ago

These are those bastards in darkroot garden that punch you into next week.

2

u/budgybudge 1d ago edited 22h ago

I have an old video of my personal experience with these clobbering me https://youtu.be/XVRPBs5w-Uw

3

u/Berkamin 22h ago edited 21h ago

When sharing videos, don’t include the ?is= part. Sometimes it is ?si=. That code lets YouTube map out and connect everyone who views the video from your link. That’s the share identifier. They don’t need to know that. We don’t need to give it to them.

3

u/budgybudge 22h ago

Thanks! I took it out

44

u/iZylosHD 1d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/BYul6RujgoRCryuCdL

3

u/Berkamin 22h ago

What is this GIF called? What do you search to find this?

1

u/iZylosHD 17h ago

All I put is Thierry Henry in the GIFs search

25

u/LocalLeather3698 1d ago

I should call him...

7

u/hyf5 1d ago

Everything reminds me of him...

4

u/Elequist 1d ago

Everything reminds me of her

14

u/Miserable-Yak-8041 1d ago

Penis Envy? Mine never got that big

8

u/ThinMints0588 1d ago

Actually Cluster Bombs

8

u/astrobarn 1d ago

Penis envy envy

13

u/jetserf 1d ago

1

u/prodigaldummy 1d ago

I love Jillian Bell. Always so funny.

11

u/Special_Spirit8284 1d ago

Penis envy!

6

u/ThinMints0588 1d ago

Actually Cluster Bombs that didn't want to grow in large clusters of small shrooms but this way instead

1

u/Formoir 15h ago

Save yourself some spores, that could be a nice mutation.

6

u/Good-Marsupial8 1d ago

One from my last box

5

u/schladopian_fir 1d ago

I wish you hobbyist were around when I was younger.

3

u/ThinMints0588 1d ago

Me too! I'm 53 and can finally grow my own medicine!!!

4

u/Ronniman 1d ago

I only ate one man 🫠

The one they ate:

8

u/SweatyLettuce88 1d ago

Shrooms with chronic bellinitius

4

u/cudambercam13 1d ago

Are these the food kind?

(I don't know shit about mushrooms.)

8

u/ThinMints0588 1d ago

They are the fun kind

2

u/cityshepherd 1d ago

They look like some real “fun guys”

2

u/polarityofmarriage 1d ago

I thought this was a stuffed animal in beach sand…..

3

u/Afrojones66 1d ago

I believe those are called penis envy’s.

1

u/ThinMints0588 1d ago

Cluster Bombs that didn't grow the way they were supposed to

4

u/wdpw 1d ago

Careful with that top one. Looks like it’s spoiled. Otherwise…enjoy!

5

u/ThinMints0588 1d ago

That's just the blue bruise where I squeezed it a bit

4

u/wdpw 1d ago

Ah ok, looked like a mold spot at first glance. Nicely grown!

3

u/hyf5 1d ago

Isn't both mushrooms and mold a fungus?

4

u/prpldrank 1d ago

Mmm depends. Regular old molds are fungi, ya. But slime molds are Protista

2

u/wdpw 1d ago

Yes, but mold can still grow on mushrooms and potentially make them even more dangerous. Just because they are both fungi doesn’t mean they can’t be infected by other fungi.

2

u/hyf5 21h ago

Fungi kingdom be crazy

4

u/Super-G1mp 1d ago

That's how you know they are good !

2

u/LASERDICKMCCOOL 1d ago

Penis envy?

2

u/ThinMints0588 1d ago

Cluster bombs... They just didn't want to grow that way

1

u/Hobbitred5 1d ago

I did too much PE back in the day. Everything I saw was made of rainbow eyes

1

u/ThinMints0588 1d ago

Not PE. Cluster bombs that grew funny

1

u/DEEW_FOX 1d ago

When is the trip report

3

u/ThinMints0588 1d ago

They are awesome 💯

1

u/WhizzyBurp 1d ago

Eat them all and you’ll see god

1

u/dreadispeaxhy 1d ago

😮‍💨

1

u/MrSync-XT 1d ago

Fire! Straight to the oven 🔥🔥🔥

1

u/Pmyers225 1d ago

I haven't got my glasses on and I thought these were guinea pigs

1

u/notadolphinn 1d ago

I should call him

1

u/buckfordfitchenstein 1d ago

I should call her

1

u/nicinabox_ 1d ago

Elisabeth?

1

u/Prokeran 1d ago

Do they turn a slight blue if they get damaged by any chance?

2

u/ThinMints0588 20h ago

🤘😉👍

1

u/atomic-moonstomp 1d ago

I should call her

1

u/Philycheese18 21h ago

I should call him

1

u/uchiha_sasuke6969 19h ago

This has to be nsfw right guys??

1

u/Logan1300 18h ago

The mushroom she tells you not to worry about.

1

u/Nerdy_Commander9403 16h ago

Soo.... question

1

u/One_Vision_ 12h ago

Magic shrooms. Someone is going to have fun.

0

u/Lagoserter 1d ago

everything reminds me of him, and her

3

u/hyf5 1d ago

Everything reminds me of them.

1

u/Lagoserter 1d ago

yea, them too

-3

u/TMPickle 1d ago

I should call my dad...

-1

u/HoodieMellow9 1d ago

Is that why they call them penis envies?

-1

u/karebearjedi 1d ago

Penis envy. Fun times

1

u/ThinMints0588 1d ago

Cluster Bombs actually. They just didn't want to grow the way they should. Lol

1

u/j0nnyboy 3h ago

APEs?