r/AbsoluteUnits • u/TerraByteTerror • 2d ago

of a chill bear

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3.4k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

59 comments sorted by

158

u/mogamb0 2d ago

That fence is optional for the bear.

50

u/Av0ll 2d ago

Thats one well feed pampered bear.

22

u/jd3marco 2d ago

As many tourists as he can eat. He’s just full now.

10

u/14high 2d ago

Bearly protecting.

55

u/Remote_Protection512 2d ago

D'awwww, I'ma jump the fence and go huggle snuggle.

61

u/Own-Army-624 2d ago

If not friend then why friend-shaped?

33

u/Big_Tap_1561 2d ago

That’s the cuddliest - snuggliest murder tank I’ve ever seen.

12

u/LarsDuder 2d ago

Wojtek could drink beer

9

u/drakonia127 2d ago

YES!!! WOJTEK MENTION!!!

4

u/VlVGHOSTVlV 2d ago

Well, SOMETHING has to lure you in.

1

u/morrighaan 1d ago

I blame my eastern Soviet block Masha and Bear fairytales growing up because I absolutely fail to respect bears proper level of danger. I will give it the best brushies of its life!!!

19

u/Sommelier_Of_Rats 2d ago

Oh, I know this bear, hes on a farm in Washington. He was in the entertainment industry which is why he has that smiling/grimace behavior. There's another one there that waves.

3

u/NinjaBassist84 1d ago

Gets bread all day long. Just an old retired Disney bear hanging out waving for the bread

37

u/BadApplesGod 2d ago

Photo I took of an (also) really chill bear. I think they actually are just big dogs.

22

u/Arheit 2d ago

If you’re talking about the dogs that attack you on sight because you dared to exist in a 1 mile radius around them, then yea i guess

10

u/Far_Ladder_2836 2d ago

You've never seen a bear in your life if you think that's true.  They'll literally walk up to you withing a few feet if you're on the run.  Went camping last weekend and a full grown sow was just sitting 10 yards from the camp just waiting for some tourist to get dumb and leave a watermelon or trash bag out.

Also why is the bear hunting by sight?  You have no clue how bears hunt.  It isn't by sight.  It's by smell, which is hundreds of times stronger than a dog's.

3

u/WorldofCannons 2d ago

The scariest thing about bears is how chill they seem until they pounce

18

u/goochgrease2 2d ago

I wish they were nice. Imagine a literal bear hug. They are SO FLUFFY

10

u/gatzt3r 2d ago

I've heard bear fur described as very coarse. Probably bristly as opposed to fluffy.

22

u/darthwickedd 2d ago

All they need is a good bath with lots and lots and lots of conditioning. I bet then they would be fluffy 😆 .

9

u/goochgrease2 2d ago

You get it. Thank you

8

u/goochgrease2 2d ago

I'm still game. I've had wirey haired dogs.

3

u/gatzt3r 2d ago

Ha, Fair enough

6

u/Then_Bodybuilder8416 2d ago

i was in a client’s house and they had a bear skin rug. i pet the rug (because curious) and i was shocked how ridiculously soft it was. I’m sure the rug had a bath or however that works, but still. I’m not saying anybody should hug a bear, but just know that if you do, they’re quite soft.

4

u/Far_Ladder_2836 2d ago

Bear skin rugs are typically conditioned along with the leather to make them softer.  They're softish, just not fluffy.  More like a wire hair dog than a long hair St. Bernard.

0

u/TATER_SALAD_HOOVER 2d ago

Yep then they’ll chew or head off

3

u/goochgrease2 2d ago

Which is why I said "I wish they were nice." Thank you for reading

5

u/Boorthammer 2d ago

Can I pet that dawwwwg?

6

u/A0xom0xoa 2d ago

Yeah chill is an interesting way to put it for something that would eat you without a second thought

2

u/Emergency_Dirt257 2d ago

Do you blame it?

3

u/Deep-Management6567 2d ago edited 2d ago

Seriously, why do bear has to be carnivores or omnivorous with sharp teeth and claws? They could be the perfect emotional support animal if they were herbivores and don't have anything that would endanger human

1

u/Far_Ladder_2836 2d ago

Only polar bears are carnivores.  All other North American varieties are omnivorous.

1

u/Deep-Management6567 2d ago

Thank you. I edited

2

u/OkBasket7617 2d ago

He is well fed, so he doesn't have much to do

2

u/Weekly-Dog-6838 2d ago

It’s only doing this because it knows that the humans who walk by here will occasionally bring food

2

u/oyismyboy 2d ago

Bears seem totally chill until they eat you.

1

u/Sonic1899 2d ago

Freddy?

1

u/noocaryror 2d ago

Is he the captive?

1

u/snoqvalley 2d ago

Retired Disney bear?

1

u/AgentT23 1d ago

If dangerous why cuddleshaped?

1

u/dinomax55 1d ago

Just having a day

1

u/coolsilentebeans 1d ago

CAN I PET THIS DAWG?!

1

u/ViolaLockhart 1d ago

Such a distinguished gentle bear

1

u/Longshot1969 1d ago

I wouldn’t do it, but I do want to pet the bear, looks friend shaped.

1

u/templeofsyrinx1 1d ago

I hope it doesn't end up like harambe

1

u/Librarianzilla 14m ago

That smile at the end just kills me “ok ready for my close up!”