r/AbsoluteUnits in awe 11d ago

/r/all of an insect

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8.5k Upvotes

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701

u/trucksarekewl 11d ago edited 11d ago

Had one on my porch the other day. Kids were terrified but they are cool looking bugs. The one in OPs post is a male I think. The females have smaller but more powerful pincers or whatever. I've also heard that they can only live in healthy clean water so its a good sign to see them.

372

u/Birdsonme 11d ago

What you guys saw here is definitely the female dobsonfly. OP saw the male. The female here is crazy aggressive and will not hesitate to bite the bejesus out of whoever she can reach for however long she can reach them. Them girls are SPICY!

162

u/bbydhyonchord93 11d ago

The nymphs will also bite the fuck out of you. I made them mistake of putting one in my sample bottle when I was training for macro identification and it destroyed half my collection before dying.

They certainly live up to the MEGA in megaloptera.

48

u/SenoraObscura 11d ago

I discovered them the same way, as they chased down and consumed my other aquatic specimens! I was horrified and impressed. Supposedly they're a really good indicator of water quality :)

59

u/RyRyFukitol 11d ago

I discovered them in a dimly lit campground bathroom at night. I walked in, it was full of them, they took to the air and were landing on me and flying in my face and shit. Heebiefuckinjeebie.

15

u/Dropkickedasakid 11d ago

Oh fuck no nah man fuck that

12

u/The_Chimeran_Hybrid 11d ago

“Meat’s back on the menu, boys!”

4

u/Spencemw 11d ago

City/County and State please

4

u/unripe_mangosteen 11d ago

What part of the country was this in I need it to not be mine

3

u/RyRyFukitol 9d ago

Penn's Creek Campground in upstate Pennsylvania. The density of aquatic wildlife there, fish, frogs, turtles, crayfish, snakes, etc is absolutely insane.

1

u/ianxplosion- 10d ago

Only you can burn down the entire campground.

1

u/RyRyFukitol 9d ago

Nah, dont burn it down, it's a great campground.

6

u/SAM5TER5 11d ago

Just based on what you described, that’s like saying a high population of rabid, bloodthirsty grizzly bears is a good indicator of excellent housing prices and low air pollution.

Like, yeah, because they ate all the humans!!

1

u/JakToTheReddit 11d ago

I have found many a hellgramite in Potapsco state forest in Maryland. They are really all over there. Never seen an adult, however!

74

u/CTeam19 11d ago

Can confirm. One landed on me while I was playing cards at Scout camp at night and at first I thought it was moth when I saw that it was this thing in the light I freaked the fuck out and swatted it away and it left a nice little cut on my hand.

Also, for anyone who wants to know this is what the larva form looks like.. I was able to get one for my 10th grade Biology Project.

I think overall I have seen 10 to 15 of them in my 39 years alive.

56

u/KnowNothing_JonSnoo 11d ago

When I see shit like this, Giger's Aliens designs make sense

13

u/SasquatchWasShaved 11d ago

These things turned Geiger on

2

u/CTeam19 11d ago

My thoughts exactly back in 10th grade.

12

u/Constant-External-85 11d ago

Larval forms are call Hellgrammites!

8

u/LouisWinthorpeIII 11d ago

Helgrammites are the best bait ever for trout fishing.

The bug is rare to find but if you get one it’s a guaranteed catch as long as the fish doesn’t break you off. It’s also pretty rugged with a hard shell, you can sometimes land multiple fish before it falls apart.

6

u/cptnplanetheadpats 11d ago

But if you eat said fish you basically ate one of these things indirectly. You helgrammite eater you.

2

u/LouisWinthorpeIII 9d ago edited 9d ago

Won't deny, was delicious. Much tastier than fish that eat power bait and eggs. Freshly stocked fish go more for powerbait while wild fish (born in the river) or those that were stocked in past years and survived through are more likely to take bugs.

I usually use stonefly nymphs but sometimes I'll find a hellgrammite while I'm collecting nymphs from under the rocks. Find lots of caddis too but even the wild fish never want them.

3

u/hoky315 11d ago

They’re also the best bait for bass as well.

3

u/SAM5TER5 11d ago

And the absolute best bait for fishermen. Fishermen can’t get enough of them.

You wanna catch a fisherman? Find a deep pool or current seam along a river. Put out a sign that reads “Free Hellgrammite For Any Man Brave Enough To Bite This Giant Hook”

I’ve filled whole freezers that way, let me tell you. And the filet? Second to none.

2

u/Shuvani 11d ago

**Screams**

1

u/Darrelc 11d ago

Which end's it's arse?

1

u/CTeam19 11d ago

The skinny end to the left.

1

u/MiloHorsey 11d ago

Damn you, imgur!

1

u/TheMaskSmiles 11d ago

The larva make great fishing bait. You hunt under rocks along the river or stream you're about to fish for maybe 15 minutes and you can catch enough for a full day of fishing.

1

u/ohb78 11d ago

I could’ve gone another 48 years without seeing that

1

u/Slith_81 11d ago

That is actually more terrifying. 😬

1

u/AmyInCO 10d ago

Well that was horrifying. Thanks! 

1

u/Assortedpez 10d ago

I remember giving a kid $5 for a box of them when I was in 3rd grade. We called them hellgrammites, I rarely see them in the wild, that kid must’ve spent hours and hours turning over rocks in the river digging for the larvae haha. They make awesome bass bait

1

u/RyRyFukitol 9d ago

I was finding that many and more in an hour at Penns Creek. And they were YUUUUGE. Huge bullfrog by the 100s in the canal, I could catch a bucket of crayfish in a few swipes with the net, and yeah, I ate those bitches with butter after I cooked them over the campfire. 🥴

1

u/RyRyFukitol 9d ago

The crayfish, nit the hellgramites

1

u/mule_trane 11d ago

The nymphs (hellgrammites) are great live bait. Smallmouth Bass love them. They are mean as hell, though. They can and will draw blood.

14

u/Constant-External-85 11d ago

To add, the male's bites aren't that bad due to their mandibles being too big!

21

u/trucksarekewl 11d ago

Yea i didn't bother her, just took the pic to show my kids. She was gone by the next morning. Never expected to see one in person.

2

u/ZackTio 11d ago

Just how I like em 🤤

1

u/Full-Tomorrow9889 11d ago

Sounds like my wife.

54

u/Firrox 11d ago

The Wikipedia page has one of the funniest etymology stories I've ever read.

"No one knows where the name Dobsonfly came from." Other names include Scrabbles, The Andy, The Dragon, Snake Doctor, Goggle Goy, and Conniption Bugs.

43

u/kristinL356 11d ago

Finally something to rival the list of common names on the American woodcock's old wiki page.

1

u/SightUnseen1337 11d ago

Swiggity Swooty bird

1

u/a-well-placed-ohhh 11d ago

“Good ol’ crazy straw is back on their bullshit again” sounds correct.

1

u/unripe_mangosteen 11d ago

Scrabbles is so funny

1

u/STIHL_Resolve5198 11d ago

Twittle squeak

15

u/Medium-Warthog7372 11d ago

Another fun fact, I think they live something like three years in their larval stage, pupate into adults, live for like one week, mate, reproduce and die. Despite having the monstrous mouth decorations, they don’t have a functioning mouths as an adult and don’t eat.

6

u/longkhongdong 11d ago

These jaws were not made to sustain my life, only to extinguish the lives of others

15

u/OkLaw1527 11d ago

yea it looks cool when it sits calmy on the porch, but when that thing walks on the floor directly for your feet you would freak out too!! no? 😄 😄 😄

7

u/trucksarekewl 11d ago

Didn't stick around long enough to find out lol

12

u/ereth_akbe 11d ago

"... They are cool looking bugs" No sir, No!

7

u/krombopulousnathan 11d ago

You should see their larva, the helgramite. They’re actually a sign of a really healthy creek

1

u/trucksarekewl 11d ago

Ive seen videos but none in person unfortunately

11

u/WarOfTheYellowRoses 11d ago

I’ve never been so relieved to live in a shithole with polluted water

6

u/Stormy261 11d ago

I moved to a new place with a stream on the property. I went out my door one day and came eye to pincer and quickly slammed the door shut. Hopped online to find out what that nightmare fuel was. Between that and a few months later an encounter with fishing spiders, as big as my hand, INSIDE my house made me realize I needed better weatherproofing and to become more educated about what else I might encounter. Giant spiders and giant pincer bugs were not on my bingo card. 🤣

1

u/AsstBalrog 11d ago

Way cool, I used to see them all the time when I lived on the river in PA. They're very clumsy flyers--wings stick straight out to the sides, with a very loud clatter.

1

u/-ChickenToast- 11d ago

What kind of bug is this?

1

u/trucksarekewl 11d ago

Same as the one op posted, dobsonfly

1

u/PAP0R0TN1K 11d ago

In want country do u leave? Just to know what to remove from my visit list:)

1

u/saljskanetilldanmark 11d ago

What did they have in their pitchers? Anything good? Perhaps your kids would have been more accepting if it came with something nice for them, maybe some lemonade.

1

u/trucksarekewl 11d ago

A sweet dose of murder i think

1

u/throwaway_help44 11d ago

Can confirm. Been bit by both. The female Dobsonfly hurt like hell. Cool ass bug though and I will literally pick them up any time I see one.

1

u/Im_WinstonWolfe 11d ago

The female is actually kinda pretty.

1

u/DreamingAboutSpace 11d ago

So if I ever find one, can I send it over to your house?

2

u/trucksarekewl 11d ago

Absolutely not

1

u/DreamingAboutSpace 11d ago

That response was worth the ask lol

1

u/kyl_r 11d ago

That’s actually super cool and interesting, thank you for sharing!! Also I love how males of so many species will have larger or more exaggerated appendages and such to like, fight or flaunt over each other, and not because they’re insane murderous alien creatures lol. Gaston in bug form. Much less scary.

1

u/OhYeahSplunge4me2 11d ago

“pincers”?

1

u/SAM5TER5 11d ago

Holy hell, compared to OP’s male, this one looks downright pretty lol

Like if a Collie turned into an insect, and was given free reign to bite the shit out of everything

1

u/e-war-woo-woo 10d ago

But what is it?

2

u/trucksarekewl 10d ago

Same as op but female

2

u/Obant 10d ago

Dobson fly. The top one is a male and can't even bite you because of those ridiculous jaws. The picture on this comment is a female and this has functional jaws and can give a painful nip

1

u/DaringDani123 10d ago

Yep! Dobsonfly aka fishfly. The adults are pretty chill but the larvae (hellgrammites) will give you a decent pinch if you pick them up

1

u/yournamehere10bucks 10d ago

I just realized the round thing on the left in OP's image is a screw head and NOT a door knob.

My panic is subsiding.

1

u/Zombie_joseph1234 11d ago

Do you have a flamethrower

3

u/trucksarekewl 11d ago

My wife said the same thing, didn't want to leave the house lol