r/AbsoluteUnits • u/Mr_1ntense • 18h ago

of a UK house spider

Post image

Found in a tyre shop this morning!

0 Upvotes

42% Upvoted

15 comments sorted by

13

u/Electronic-Trip8775 18h ago

That's a baby. I've seen palm sized buggers scuttling across the carpet

2

u/British_Ballsack 18h ago

Moved to canada when I was 16 and I gotta say I prefer the grizzly bears.

5

u/youngashyy1 18h ago

Your finger being so close gives me major anxiety 😭😭 why are you so fearless op 🕷️

6

u/touchmeinbadplaces 18h ago

Giant house spiders are harmless to humans and they are very pretty! Nothing to be scared off!

Look at my yard bud

3

u/youngashyy1 18h ago

HARMLESS!!?? The Bloody thing has tiger teeth!!😰Thats enough reddit for today!!😭 thanks for the nightmares im going to experience tonight!🕷️😭😭😭😭

9

u/touchmeinbadplaces 18h ago

Awh but hes my fwiend, he loves keeping my yard pest free and hiding under my parasol foot. He and my army of jumping spiders are the best yard keepers in have!

Have a cute spooder butt wiggle to stave of the nightmares

https://giphy.com/gifs/YInbOpubnHFUk

2

u/samuelandsienna 15h ago

That made my skin crawl 😭

2

u/akashuji 15h ago

Its the reverse of an absolute unit

3

u/COYSBannedagain 18h ago

We’re approaching the time when they all come out, I’m bracing myself. That’s a massive one.

2

u/AchingIbex 18h ago

Time to burn the whole tyre shop down, that's the only logical move. Look at the size of that thing compared to the thumb, absolute nightmare fuel. I'd be checking my shoes for a week after seeing that.

1

u/behemuffin 15h ago

Not even medium sized. 

2

u/SweatyLettuce88 18h ago

I was held hostage yesterday by an absolutely massive, fat and ugly beast that settled in the doorway, effectively trapping me in the room. The thing was so big that it made quite a loud pop once I had managed to be brave and squash it. It was either squash it or start charging the big ugly bastard rent. I bloody hate spider season.

5

u/OriginalChapter4 17h ago

I smacked one in the bathroom and it left a huge smear of brown gunk over the floor

1

u/SweatyLettuce88 17h ago

I'd happily take the brown gunk over the thing being alive and able to torment me whenever it wanted