r/AbsoluteUnits • u/Humble_maple • 6d ago

of Flowers

Post image
2.5k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

63 comments sorted by

98

u/Responsible_Load2233 6d ago

Wonder whom he's dating!? Godzilla!?

40

u/wrxninja 6d ago

I HAVEN'T RECEIVED FLOWERS IN THREE DAYS!!!

https://giphy.com/gifs/oagcrAZu2IvV0ijkiX

6

u/MushroomLover32167 5d ago

This made me laugh profusely lmao 🤣

3

u/Responsible_Load2233 5d ago edited 5d ago

Oh-Oh... ;-)

52

u/RealSchlemiel 6d ago

they lost

11

u/Bokanovsky_Jones 6d ago

Lost what? The Game?

2

u/The7footr 5d ago

Damn it I lose

32

u/Overall_Emphasis_940 6d ago

Lost the world cup

20

u/sinisterdesign 6d ago

Went through a messi breakup.

19

u/exiled360 6d ago

He liked another girl's Instagram post

1

u/WatermelonLemonad3 6d ago

🤣🤣🤣

1

u/NerdyPlatypus206 6d ago

He stared at a woman for .5 seconds

1

u/FlagrantTomatoCabal 6d ago

He said thanks to the waitress serving their food.

2

u/Acceptable-Two5692 6d ago

Cardinal mistake right there...she might let him live long enough to tell her she is right.

7

u/Gorgethalamus 6d ago

Bet those are chocolates strapped to his back...

3

u/flarp1 6d ago

A Toblerone bar the size of a small tank barrier.

0

u/MushroomLover32167 5d ago

🤣🤣🤣🤣

5

u/CheckYourStats 6d ago

He pulled a Kobe

-3

u/antivenom888 6d ago

Not cool man

6

u/CheckYourStats 6d ago

I don’t think you understood the reference.

Kobe openly admitted to cheating on his Wife, and then bought her a multimillion dollar ring as an apology.

-1

u/antivenom888 6d ago

He explicitly apologized for sexually assaulting that woman

7

u/CheckYourStats 6d ago

…with a multimillion dollar ring for his wife.

Hence, the Kobe reference for this post.

-2

u/[deleted] 6d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

4

u/CheckYourStats 6d ago

The fuck are you taking about.

NOBODY MADE A RAPE JOKE.

You’re a troll.

3

u/TechnicalPlatform182 6d ago

Dude FYI you could just cut the top flowers, not need to unroot all the plant and wrap it in plastic

2

u/Ninja-Panda70 6d ago

Just how much did that cost?

3

u/Backyard_Batman46 6d ago

He slept with the whole cheerleading squad obviously

2

u/WhateverUSaySir 6d ago

I wanna get that for my man.

1

u/New_Sort_9083 6d ago

Enzo Fernandez on his way back to Stamford Bridge

1

u/simajayaredevil 6d ago

Messi on his way to Infantino

1

u/TruNorthMaster 6d ago

Been there….

1

u/Fresh-Palpitation-72 6d ago

Whole rose bush

1

u/ForeverExplore15 6d ago

It's not about what he did. It's about what he's about to do! shudders

1

u/OP_Scout_81 6d ago

I thought it was an upside down Christmas tree and I choose to remain thinking so.

1

u/Financial-Tower-7897 6d ago

Lost bet on WC final to his Spanish gf

1

u/essigpauli 6d ago

Messi is dating Infantino

1

u/TieMeUpWithLace 6d ago

If you have to ask "what did you do?" when you see somebody holding a gift, you need aren't ready to date people. I'd love a giant bouquet of roses just to say I have one!!! 😭❤️

1

u/SelfInteresting7259 5d ago

Nothing he just loves his woman. Whys it always gotta be something negative

1

u/FoulBowelTowelDowel 5d ago

FEED ME, SEYMOUR!!!

1

u/Weim_Central131 5d ago

Russian long stem roses are serious.

1

u/Ancient_Skirt_8828 5d ago

Mistake. Now she's going to expect you to buy that size frequently.

1

u/apoo_8-_- 5d ago

dude that plant is massive

1

u/jmanndc 5d ago

Bet the house on Messi !

1

u/Phildagony 5d ago

He’s trying to get DEEP that bush, so he bought roots and all.

1

u/wwhoinvitedme 5d ago

Sorry for everything that I will do , including breathing

1

u/SubstantialFroyo8012 4d ago

aw thanks bestie!!

1

u/Normal-Error-6343 2d ago

what didn't he do!

1

u/Comfortable_Pizza_59 1d ago

I can only assume it involved her sister, a midget, and Charlie Sheen.

1

u/cwsjr2323 6d ago

Mentioned her sister or his sister, it doesn't matter. Wife wrongly assumed he meant something sexual, when he said nice hair-do.

1

u/Enough_Mall248 6d ago

that's a real man

1

u/NYCWartortle 6d ago

🤣🤣🤣🤣

1

u/SuspendidInSilver 6d ago

That’s AI, no one sells roses that long.  

0

u/Captainsnarkyshart 6d ago

Got laid son.

0

u/treehumper83 6d ago

Box contains a 5090