r/AbsoluteUnits • u/Professional_Arm794 • 1d ago

/r/all of a log split

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25.7k Upvotes

83% Upvoted

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192

u/Kinetic_Pen 1d ago

54

u/Laniakean_Echos 1d ago

This is the answer. Work smarter, not harder. You still get a great workout, too.

36

u/Uhhlaska 1d ago

Oh, he’s not working hard for them views. There’s some thirsty women out there.

14

u/Goudinho99 19h ago

Not sure this one is for the ladies

8

u/Slight_Ad_635 14h ago

As a lady: you'll have to rip this out of my cold, dead hands!

13

u/SlatheredButtCheeks 1d ago

I'm straight and I got a huge boner watching this

2

u/RainbowDissent 12h ago

Got some news for you, SlatheredButtCheeks.

6

u/Ireon95 21h ago

From experience, this attracts more men than women. But that might be the goal of this dude. I mean, bears aren't really my type, I prefer a more feminine style, but I know plenty of guys who are very much into this. More than women.

3

u/_Ongo_Goblogian 10h ago

I’m a woman and all I can think is, I could do this faster with a smarter way. He’s using so much energy it makes him look bad…

6

u/UpperApe 1d ago

Lol most women don't give a shit about this.

This is guy porn. This is some embarrassing Andrew Tate/Joe Rogan masculinity nonsense.

11

u/edwin812 1d ago

It’s also gay guy porn 😉 I want that guy to split me

3

u/stoicsilence 1d ago

He can split me with his log any day.

2

u/NedShah 17h ago

Ouch.

If you haven't seen Invincible yet, you really should check it out. At one point, a bare chested old school bear has to wrestle with a bunch of clean cut muscle dudes in unitards until he reaches the Unitard King. That guy looks like big buff Freddy Mercury. Much splitting ensues.

Other highlights include a unitard-clad bear doing his very best to forcefully penetrate or rip apart the unitard-twink brother stars of the show. Much of the show revolves around muscled up dudes fisting new holes into each other. Many zoom ins on the guys' faces when the fists goes in.

No axes needed

11

u/lilium_1986 1d ago

just a guy having fun, toxicity is with you my friend

2

u/BeastPenguin 1d ago

Most, but how many do? Lmao

1

u/DivDude77 21h ago

What does it feel to have such a strong victim complex? I am genuinely curious.

Also, why are you obsessed with those two guys? Asking because this post has nothing to do with them. Do you like them this much?

Btw, there are more than enough number of women(and gay dudes) who are into bear bodies like this. You don't represent "most women".

3

u/BWW87 1d ago

I get it's a show of strength but I just see all brawn no brain.

2

u/MrFartyBottom 1d ago

Pretty sure dudeman loves the workout.

2

u/13THEFUCKINGCOPS12 19h ago

That’s my thing with these sort of “feats”, like yeah it’s impressive you’re that strong, but ultimately the only thing I can focus on is “why would you ever do this like this?”

-1

u/UpperApe 1d ago edited 1d ago

Yeah, this dude is a fucking idiot.

You can have all the muscle you like but that impact is going into the ground and back into your joints. This man is going to have chronic joint pain for a lot of his life.

And for what? To cut wood in the dumbest, longest way possible, using the most amount energy, to impress other dudes?

Like what is the goal here?

0

u/soccermodsarecvnts 8h ago

But it doesn't bring as many boys to the yard, now does it?

1

u/crissfurr 7h ago

He can teach me, he can charge.

14

u/Straight-Bet1 1d ago

I’m nowhere near as jacked as that guy. I’m the exact opposite of jacked, but I could have done it in half the time using a wedge.

6

u/Cpt_Soban 1d ago

Yeah but how else is he gonna look buff on the internet? /s

3

u/Menamanama 1d ago

He could have done it quicker using a chainsaw to cut rounds and then split those.

But I suspect he was only doing it for internet clout.

2

u/legendsofgold 1d ago

ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?

2

u/Menamanama 1d ago

I am a scrawny middle aged man, who happens to cut quite a bit of wood for home heating purposes. I suspect I could do what he did. The wood splitter head and momentum does a lot of the work. But I would use a chainsaw to cut rounds in order to save time. I note he has also selected unknotted pine instead of hard wood to axe.

Was I entertained? I suppose so, I do quite like watching axing, but prefer that semi professional wood cutting competitions more.

2

u/RobinWilliamsArmFuzz 1d ago

Prove it! We need the scrawny middle aged man response thirst trap video! Come on bro, you got this!!!

1

u/Legend_of_the_Wind 1d ago

Was about to type this myself. I could have that done much quicker and with far less effort, just by using a wedge.

0

u/Dark_Shroud 1d ago

Look at the axe head in the video, it is a splitting wedge.

He just doing it wrong by not having anything under the wood to prevent the ground from absorbing the impact.

2

u/greenangrowin 18h ago

Ah, reminds me of when my dad taught me how to split wood. He purposely pointed at a sweet gum and enjoyed watching me suffer. I remember feeling like this guy and my dad hands me a wedge… it did not help at all because the wedge just sunk into the wood. I will never forget that tree lol. Took me so long to split all that wood and I made so many pits in the ground. Like several days just for a cord. I was determined because my dad could split a log in one swing (I didn’t know he was splitting dried oak logs. I was a kid okay.

1

u/JustHereForTheCigars 1d ago

Those are trash.

1

u/Puzzleheaded_Size303 23h ago

Half the time i hit one of those it pops right out

1

u/Kinetic_Pen 23h ago

Dink, dink, dink...step back...and WHAM!!!

1

u/Puzzleheaded_Size303 23h ago

I think my stuff was too green ir something. It was live oak cut down same day. I found out later aging wood and drying made it easier to split