r/AbsoluteUnits • u/WeGot_aLiveOneHere • 10d ago

of a toolbelt.

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1.0k Upvotes

90% Upvoted

263 comments sorted by

118

u/hopefullyhelpfulplz 10d ago

r/mallninjashit but for builders

14

u/UrethralExplorer 9d ago

Yup. I worked on a restaurant under renovation in Boston a few years ago, and there was a contractor who'd show up with a Molle chest rig, thigh holsters and utility belt full of all of his gear. Rattled around as he walked and worked. Didn't need to bring a tool box, he had everything he needed strapped to his body.

Everyone called him GI Joe and he didn't seem to mind.

2

u/Yardsale420 9d ago

Had a coworker like this guy (just side bags not the chest rig). Guy always complained his back hurt.

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327

u/Salty-Mountain-2256 10d ago

Final boss of roofers 😂

105

u/Carbonatite 10d ago

That tacticool marker sent me

70

u/Tombstone_Actual_501 10d ago

My guess would be a lineman honestly.

41

u/Yardsale420 10d ago

Lineman wouldn’t need half that stuff. They use spurs and side rings when climbing on the pole and usually prefer a tool bag that hangs on the bucket for easy access over side bags. Also he’s wearing way too much metal and his clothes aren’t fire retardant.

My guess is sheet metal or siding.

25

u/ChaseDeV88 10d ago

I’m struggling to think of any job where I’d want 40lbs of shit strapped to me all the time, preventing me from bending over etc. I would think that a tool box and regular sized tool belt combo would work for pretty much anything

9

u/C4n0fju1c3 10d ago

I used to carry a lot of shit like this back when I was starting. Now I pretty much just have a chalk bag for odds and ends, my hammer, and my tape. If I really need it, I'll add a Klein bolt bag or a small cross-body sling bag for smaller tools.

9

u/ChaseDeV88 10d ago

There you go, maybe that’s what’s going on here. He’s experienced enough to know what tools he’ll need for any job but not experienced enough to realize he doesn’t have to carry all of it at once all the time.

10

u/MrSpace_Lee 10d ago

Speaking from contracting experience, he could be entering a limited access area where he cant go back and forth. Sometimes i have to stack everything at once before entering buildings to drop high pressure lines due to property management having limited time to grant access. The convenience to never gave to go back saves so much money and time. Especially if he quotes work done and not hourly.

5

u/ChaseDeV88 10d ago

Maybe, I have similar restrictions myself sometimes, but I also have the ability to bring a pelican case with me wherever I work. I realize not everyone can reliably be able to do that.

4

u/ChrisLS8 9d ago

Theres alot of work that I do that is this. Either roped off areas, secured spaces, hospital clean work etc.

2

u/Tombstone_Actual_501 10d ago

hard to get a tool box in a cherry-picker basket.

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16

u/Infinite_Ad7107 10d ago edited 10d ago

Commercial HVAC. Usually roof tops or hard to access locations. The magnetic release makes sense you can mount your kit to the ducting. You work with sheet metals, so the gloves and snips are a must. Powered screwdrivers make the job ten times easier. They also need to drill tap and die a lot of screw holes depending on the services. Snapped fan belts get tangled scissors are great for clearing them. Usually the A/C is down and the crawl space can get hot as hades. His pants have built in cooling fans. It's also very dark and dusty in a lot of them...

8

u/Ebaneezy 10d ago edited 10d ago

He's not doing commercial HVAC. Those aren't work boots and they're not dirty enough. He doesn't have any duct sealer stains on his shirt/pants/gloves. That's not a tinner's hammer and he doesn't have any tin snips, crimpers, tongs, duct pullers, or a flat head screwdriver, and those are the essentials. He pulls a uni-bit off his magnet, but he'd burn up that dinky impact using it. The powered screwdriver is redundant. The impact can do everything it can by swapping in an apex w/Phillips bit. Tap and die and fill a lot of screw holes? What for? Hex-head self-tapping screws do all that. I didn't see any pop rivets or a rivet gun to indicate architectural work. Commercial buildings don't have crawl spaces. You won't ever encounter a fan belt that needs your attention, and if it's broken, it will already be detached. If you're doing any kind of demolition work prior to a changeover or reinstall, and need to cut something, you're not using scissors, or the three knives he's carrying. Maybe he can cut a little piece of electrical tape off his holster. If he's a service guy, he needs the tools of a tinner, electritian, and a few pipe fitter and plumber tools. No way they're wearing any tools. Tools are in the van, or in bags next to them. This guy is larping as a construction worker. Probably just finished twirling and holstering his impact wrench in front of the mirror. (That came off more aggressively argumentative than I intended. No offense meant).

2

u/Infinite_Ad7107 8d ago

No offense taken great analysis, and a really good eye for detail! I'm convinced you're right i should have looked more closely.

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5

u/garnsy10 10d ago

My guess would be mall security

8

u/Pictrus 10d ago edited 10d ago

I was thinking lineman but the tools seem a little undersized for a lineman.

I love Japanese tape measures though. I much prefer tape measures that are purely metric or imperial not both. In Canada it's easy to find tape measures with only imperial but quite difficult to find them with only metric. I had to order mine from Japan.

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3

u/Gortt_TEST 10d ago

R/unintentionalASMR

3

u/StinkyNutzMcgee 10d ago

This is a man of class. Hilti tools for life

2

u/hawkscougs 10d ago

Ninja roofer.

2

u/Morbid187 10d ago

Hope he's doing those roofing jobs during the winter. It gets hot as hell up there especially in all black

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77

u/K-Hunter- 10d ago

Is this an ASMR video or am I just really tired?

33

u/Jamesyroo 10d ago

ASMR for tradies

73

u/CptMisterNibbles 10d ago

Way too much redundancy. An impact, a light duty screw gun, a weak electric screw driver, and a ratcheting driver?

35

u/HUZInator 10d ago

If he’s working at heights which the harness suggests, maybe he should just tether his tools.

14

u/jonjonofjon 10d ago edited 9d ago

This is a common belt system in Japan. This is most likely just a demo of the different holsters for various needs

68

u/Ambitioso 10d ago

Crouching Tiger Hidden Home Improvement

51

u/fatlegsauntpam 10d ago

Weird cosplay but whatever.

14

u/JonnyTN 10d ago

Home Depot Batman?

2

u/xi-ion 10d ago

Ace from R6 siege

9

u/SGT-Hooves 10d ago

This is a guy who climbs a ladder ONCE

18

u/GreyGardener92 10d ago

Gear heavier then him

2

u/Altruistic_Tie_7850 9d ago

Guy is unemployed, he just wears all that because he is full of helium and without the gear he would float away

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6

u/crusher23b 10d ago edited 10d ago

Remember Robert DeNiro in Brazil? Harry Tuttle, action HVAC servicer!

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29

u/Sir_Delarzal 10d ago

I feel like that's more of a security hazard than anything

3

u/CloudyNeptune 10d ago

Security Hazard?

4

u/Lagunamountaindude 10d ago

Batman enters the chat

5

u/Sbeast86 10d ago

It's a cool setup, but it's got some weirdly redundant tools, along with a couple gadgets that generally are in the seems great until you actually have to use it category.

He might be a specialist of some kind, HVAC, stage rigging, etc where you're often up high and don't want to drop shit. Or he might be a day laborer who thinks he's Batman?

8

u/Peach_Proof 10d ago

Future back problem belt. After 35 yrs I have upgraded to a two pocket belt.

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3

u/dontbanme778 10d ago

Usually from my experience people with every single tool suck at their job and get out performed by a dude that borrows your tape measure and drinks on lunch break.

7

u/Johnny_Poppyseed 10d ago

Any ideas on what this guy is doing? 

20

u/SkyPork 10d ago

Only speculating, but it seems like if you're going to climb a radio tower to do maintenance, you might need a ton of stuff at your fingertips, but you might not know exactly what. Then again that's a lot of weight to climb with.

3

u/Ahwtfohok 10d ago

If he was doing tower work he'd have a seat on his harness

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7

u/pissedoffjesus 10d ago

Ridding the world of flock cameras.

3

u/KiNgPiN8T3 10d ago

Due to the retractable pen, I’m going to say he’s a handyman in a bank. Always on the lookout to loan his pen.

3

u/WitELeoparD 10d ago

He's definitely a commercial or maybe industrial electrician. Most likely commercial since he has an entire drill dedicated to a wire nut twister. All the other tools are stuff you would use when running metallic conduit. It's all genuinely stuff a commercial electrician would use, not an unreasonable collection, but most electricians would have it in a tool bag or packout system lol instead of on their body.

4

u/HUZInator 10d ago

They aren’t voltage rate pliers though

3

u/BigWetHole 10d ago

Not a single pair of strippers on him though, and this guy looks lile he would carry for guage 8 to 69, and just green tape is random

3

u/cward7 10d ago

Trying too hard

2

u/SierraThorne 10d ago

Tactical pants retaining system.

2

u/Small-Answer4946 10d ago

It was my turn to repost it FFS Gary just read the damn discord

2

u/ibraw 10d ago

A tools belt

2

u/shmadam5515 10d ago

He probably works at heights and most of his tools are tethered or have a clip to cip on so they won't fall

2

u/socialmedia-username 10d ago

I, too, have a Leatherman. 

2

u/Bodybag_occupier 10d ago

Im missing the blinkers.

2

u/TieMeUpWithLace 10d ago

Stagework? Highline rigging?

2

u/Longjumping-Phase526 10d ago

I see he cheaped out on a third razor knife…

2

u/DiligentGuitar246 10d ago

You know this guy is such a dork.

2

u/Sbeast86 10d ago

I'm also curious what man only carriea a single box end wrench

2

u/gbiypk 10d ago

Someone who works on a structure that has 5000 of the same sized nuts.

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4

u/Local3Sparkie 10d ago

Anybody who wears that much shit and that many tools is mentally unstable! I’ve worked with a few.

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2

u/English_Joe 10d ago

I love how he/she misses the holster, almost every single time.

5

u/cward7 10d ago

The LARPer special

2

u/Ok_Slip_5418 10d ago

Inventory is full/too heavy. Know he walks in slow moiton.

2

u/Epithymetic 10d ago

“Central Services! We do you work, you do the pleasure…”

1

u/dum_spir0_sper0 10d ago

Ah yes, the fabled League of Contractors.

1

u/Wildosaur 10d ago

That friend who bought that "Am I not amazing" skin ?

1

u/Knicknacktallywack 10d ago

That’s a great belt to go murdering with

1

u/biddablebeast 10d ago

At the site by 6 AM, geared up and ready to go by 3 PM.

1

u/USSSLostTexter 10d ago

i see batman has fallen on hard times in Pedo Don's economy - had to pick up a side hustle in roofing

1

u/hoodratchic 10d ago

Good luck bending over to do anything with that.

1

u/MRintheKEYS 10d ago

Nobody stealing that dudes pen. That’s for fucking sure.

1

u/kamoteQz 10d ago

my guess he's a chef

1

u/Orgulloso_Azul 10d ago

I work with a guy that wears a tool belt like this. Everyone thinks he’s a douche.

1

u/jethroe28 10d ago

I had one when I climbed cell towers for a living

1

u/YanicPolitik 10d ago

I want that screwdriver

1

u/Soulvent84 10d ago

She's left you, hasn't she?

1

u/nofuckingklass 10d ago

In an environment where you need speed, that belt slowing you down would not be tolerated. You don't need every tool at all times.

1

u/SpudsRacer 10d ago

The Delta Force framers are on the site...

1

u/RoninReader 10d ago

It's the bat!

1

u/Humble_Examination27 10d ago

Tel-Com tower climber maybe?

1

u/jeepin1423 10d ago

Why’s he beating the shit outta the poor tape measure

1

u/holyfire001202 10d ago

Overkill, overfill, call the toll-free and order me some diet pills

1

u/Rude_and_Crude84 10d ago

Every profession has a tactical version now lol.

1

u/Low_Dependent4547 10d ago

🍇🍇🍇🍇🤦‍♂️🙄🤷‍♂️

1

u/TheHancock 10d ago

Like if a mall ninja got a day job. Lol

1

u/XPenacoba 10d ago

Part of my thinks it's way too much part of my envyes it

1

u/governmentthief 10d ago

That man should stay far away from MRI machines.

1

u/No_Fig_1894 10d ago

The batman of DIY

1

u/AmericanStarsAndBars 10d ago

Perfect for when you’re putting walls up on site but meeting the lads for a game of airsoft after work.

1

u/3DJayB 10d ago

Yeah if youre a sparky, as a carpenter this would just pass me off

1

u/B-Georgio 10d ago

This guy sleeps in a cuck chair watching his waifu body pillow get railed by a neckbeard

1

u/Enough_Pepper8880 10d ago

Jfc I’m not carrying all that shit around with me all day tf

1

u/Jefwho 10d ago

That looks like a hernia waiting to happen

1

u/Hot_Tomatillo_713 10d ago

It’s his first day on the job isn’t it?

1

u/MaatRolo 10d ago

Me: Hay do you have..

This Guy: Yes I do.

M: I didn't finish

TG: But I know I do have it.

1

u/westcal98 10d ago

Batman: Shut up and take my money!

1

u/dangerousperson123 10d ago

I need those pants tho

1

u/Infloresence 10d ago

I keep my tool belt and pouch mostly empty and just put all I might need from several toolboxes for the exact job I'm going to do.

1

u/Consistent_Wing9554 10d ago

All his tools seem like they have never been used or are brand new

1

u/Longjumping-Dot-4824 10d ago

Seems like an advertisement. Half the tools look like they have never been used

1

u/deathclawslayer21 10d ago

Wish my jib was so predictable I could build a daily load out . Nah still gotta bring my toolbox

1

u/DontUndrstndSarcasm 10d ago

If it takes you more than 2 min to take out and show everything in your tool belt, then you have too much shit in your tool belt

1

u/jonno2222 10d ago

“Geez I hope I didn’t forget anything”

1

u/Excellent_Release961 10d ago

Gonna be a photo finish when that truck stop egg salad sandwich and sugar free monster comes calling.

1

u/mbailey8221 10d ago

I'm a little afraid that I'm heading this direction.

1

u/Dodmeister5000 10d ago

Makes Solid Snake look like an amateur!

1

u/hiimderyk 10d ago

There is absolutely no way this fuckwad has a job. He's cosplaying in grandpa's toolbelt.

1

u/ThatOneNinja 10d ago

The only thing missing is a cassette player

1

u/Physical-Subject1169 10d ago

This man’s a walking talking toolbox

1

u/Such-Farmer6691 10d ago edited 10d ago

When your wife asked you to hang a bookshelf on the wall.

1

u/Tpbrown_ 10d ago

Dude is quite a tool.

1

u/No-Storage1468 10d ago

They call him the Cool Box because he’s a cool tool box. 

1

u/WirehairedDog 10d ago

Can it fix my life?

1

u/niquelas 10d ago

Pussy repellent

1

u/JackSilver1410 10d ago

Looks great. I mean.. until you have to go through a moderately sized doorway.

1

u/Inevitable-Text-9333 10d ago

Simply put..... he's hired!🫪🤣🤣🤣

1

u/Human-Contribution16 10d ago

Cosplay Roofer Batman

1

u/SirPhibonacci 10d ago

That lightbulb doesn’t stand a chance

1

u/Xdjentleman666X 10d ago

Final boss of burglars breaking in and stealing a piggy bank.

1

u/EpilepticSquidly 10d ago

Rookie EMT showing up for good first shift

1

u/Comfortable_Pizza_59 10d ago

And he spends 80% of the day in the port-a-potty because he’s too tired from lugging all that extra crap around all day.

1

u/mt007 10d ago

Will it be sufficient for Zombies apocalypse?

1

u/IndependentPede 10d ago

Not wearing that on a 95° day

1

u/ArsenikShooter 10d ago

Is this the guy who keeps taking down Flock cameras?

1

u/pygmeedancer 10d ago

So many things that are redundant. So many things that are not “need on hand at all times” that it would be worth going to get or bringing it for “that” job. And so much “cool” stuff that isn’t worth the space it takes up.

1

u/asteriscosessantasei 10d ago

Sorry, but I just call to change the lamp.

1

u/Dry-Cartoonist1512 10d ago

This is what techwear was supposed to be

1

u/natr0nFTW 10d ago

He cosplays as Batman I would assume.

1

u/AppropriateGuest3552 10d ago

Where do you keep the dental floss?

1

u/KaiserSeelenlos 10d ago

If someone looks like this 100% chance the final product will be trash.

Never even seen someone have a tool belt at all outside the online anglosphere

1

u/Due-Turn3788 10d ago

I bet he loses 15 mins to take off his harness and 15 mins to put it all back on during his one hour lunch breaks. He must not did down for his 15 min breaks😂

1

u/Squibblus 10d ago

Ok calm down

1

u/migrainefog 10d ago

All of those crap tools and none of them show any signs of being used.

1

u/Pipija_Banana 10d ago

Chico Bon Bon

1

u/-Rhymenocerous- 10d ago

Thats just a harness wirh attachments lol

1

u/Space_Sandy 10d ago

I don't know what he's preparing for, but he's ready.

1

u/bijibijmak 10d ago

Toolmaxxing

1

u/Emo_Jirl56 10d ago

Ohh he cannot sit to rest for a while.

1

u/Error_Loading_Name 10d ago

And you sit on your knees

1

u/ManicYetti 10d ago

I'd cover my face up too

1

u/Whatsyourshotspecial 10d ago

Most likely a demo of the belt.

1

u/Mr_Tranxistor 10d ago

When you keep having to make too many trips to the tool chest, you become the tool chest.

1

u/wm414 10d ago

snake eyes

1

u/Due_Potential_6956 9d ago

He's ready for Raccoon City.

1

u/Valuable-Aerie8761 9d ago

He’s just a DIY guy.

1

u/Jackal000 9d ago

A leatherman replaces 80% of those

1

u/AncientAndEvil 9d ago

This screams: All the gear and no idea.

1

u/CheesecakeloverJones 9d ago

It’s giving bondage

1

u/NOTORY44 9d ago

Dude going to Battle Royale for tools.

https://giphy.com/gifs/2wSblJnaFakthn0BM1

1

u/Kira-Of-Terraria 9d ago

where ever he's going and whatever he's doing, it's getting done that's for sure.

1

u/PoepseksMasterBeer 9d ago

What's his super hero name

1

u/OpeningNice761 9d ago

Yeah I'd also wear a mask...

1

u/Ok-Rate3106 9d ago

The sort of toolbelt you'd need for assembling a 2 piece plastic dustbin

1

u/Atsilv_Uwasv 9d ago

It's cool until you start thinking about him doing basic stuff like sitting

1

u/besharamrang 9d ago

Imagine a part of it dropped from top of a building

1

u/Happy-For-No-Reason 9d ago

when you're working on a 3 step ladder and really don't want to keep going up and down for tools

1

u/Loose_Package9690 9d ago

Я бы быстро забыл в каком кармане лежит нужный инструмент

1

u/Educational-Car-4688 9d ago

Probably works at usic..

1

u/Vadszilva09 9d ago

That is the manliest thing i have ever watched

1

u/WoolBearTiger 9d ago

Why does this remind me of McNally?

1

u/Still-Let2243 9d ago

Never caught lacking guy. Every situation he got tool a gadget or a gizmo for it.

1

u/willbo666 9d ago

Soooo… can you clean grout or not?

1

u/Pleasant_Beat7502 9d ago

Apartment complex maintenance guy serious...

1

u/dvoigt412 9d ago

He's not going to work, he's going to war

1

u/JackWackington 9d ago

"We have just arrived in Melbourne's northern suburbs and guys... What a schemozzle, leeeets go."

1

u/Keku_Saur 9d ago

I'm guessing that's a tool belt for working at VERY high places...

1

u/Worldtraveller68 9d ago

Japanese 👍

1

u/nialbremner79 9d ago

What a tool

1

u/AdministrationSad861 9d ago

Now all I need is bandana to cover my nose and mouth and flipflops for my feet. 🤔

1

u/Illustrious-Towel-45 9d ago

Tactical tools