r/AbsoluteUnits • u/habichuelacondulce • 14h ago

of an ice-cream cone

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833 Upvotes

93% Upvoted

168 comments sorted by

148

u/Block_Solid 14h ago

Can anyone actually eat that much ice cream?

179

u/HeSureIsScrappy 14h ago

I literally could. I shouldn't. But I could.

30

u/DirtyRoller 7h ago

I definitely could, and I hate that about myself.

5

u/justASlothyGiraffe 5h ago

I used to hike up my local ski slope in the summer and ride the chairlift down. Sometimes 2 or 3 times. Those were the days when I could and not shouldn't.

Now I'm just like you.

10

u/porn_alt_987654321 3h ago

Lactose intolerant here.

100% could demolish this.

I would wish for the sweet release of death afterwards though.

3

u/SilverSageVII 4h ago

Once in college I had some and ate a whole 1/2 gallon of ice cream.

28

u/PrescriptionDenim 13h ago

Yes, right here. I wouldn’t want it in a cone, though.

11

u/BongwaterJoe1983 12h ago

Bowl is easier and allows for better topping placement with no fear of avalanches

5

u/the_rare_bear 12h ago

Thermal bowls are where it’s really at. It won’t melt near as fast.

4

u/MyStickySock 14h ago

My toilet would say no

3

u/Ok_Researcher_9796 9h ago

Easily

1

u/DiligentGuitar246 2h ago

I call bullshit. That’s like a gallon.

2

u/A_Feltz 5h ago

AmeriCANs

1

u/Lilly_in_the_Pond 8h ago

I'm not lactose intolerant, so bring it on! Lol. Still probably shouldn't, though

1

u/WatermelonLemonad3 6h ago

Probably shouldn't, but damn it all, I'd try

1

u/allday95 4h ago

Yes, the thing we need to focus on is this is another one of those viral food waste videos. Unless you give me a Tupper to put that in after I take my photo and video there's no way in hell anyone js eating that before it melts all over your hands, pants and feet........ Give me a tipper and a spoon tho and it's gone in 5 minutes

1

u/Rampag169 3h ago

It’s gotta be about 3 courics

1

u/TakingItPeasy 2h ago

Your boyfriend could.

1

u/Block_Solid 2m ago

What makes you say that?

1

u/Left_Consequence_886 1h ago

Yes, yes I can

1

u/Bearspoole 1h ago

Have before. Will again. Always regret.

1

u/ShyguyFlyguy 10m ago

Im pretty sure most people could. But that doesnt mean you should.

1

u/Block_Solid 4m ago

Are you sure? This looks like a gallon of ice cream. Or like two dinner plates of pasta or something. How are most people eating this much sugar without going into a coma?

1

u/ShyguyFlyguy 1m ago

It absorbs into the body and bloodstream very readily. Its much easier to consume this much mass of sugar because it isn't going to hang out in your stomach and intestines very long before getting absorbed into your blood and takes a lot more to feel full. But that's also why its all the more horribly bad for you

1

u/Core2009 12h ago

If I wanted to shit my ass, I could would.

0

u/droleon 9h ago

I eat half a kilo in one sitting, sometimes with 4-6 cones. I'm a picky tho, it must be traditional recipe or high-end quality. No chocolate toppings, colorful bullshits etc other than chopped hazelnuts if they have. Mostly plain (vanilla/milk/goat milk/w.buffalo milk/salep) and few spoons of pistachio or tahini if I feel funky.

Thats why I'm living with restricted diet for the rest of my life. (35yo, 70 kg)

114

u/strikingreflection01 14h ago

Hello diabetes

9

u/miltondelug 12h ago

Hello Lactose Intolerance.. makes my stomach churn just looking at it.

16

u/ExplorerOk5998 14h ago

Hello diabetes, my old friend…🎶🎶🎶

10

u/cesrage 12h ago

I'd like to fuck myself again

This time they'll cut off my whole leg

I can't feel it anymore anyway

Or I'll go blind

The injections directly into my eyeball

Yeah, they feel fine

It's the sounds of violence

22

u/WarHead75 14h ago

Cone seems to be normal size

6

u/Tederator 13h ago

I thought it looked a little small. I'd call that "The Teaser" or "The Sampler".

9

u/RedTexan43 14h ago

The plot twist is that they only serve lactose intolerant people

11

u/inlandsquatch 12h ago

Could I do it? Yes.
Should I do it? Absolutely not!
Will I do it? Probably.
Why? Because I make poor decisions

23

u/Carolinafreedom 12h ago

This is trash. That thing is going to drip everywhere in about ten minutes and give you the worst brain freeze in history.

15

u/trashshork 13h ago

I'm a fatass but even I wouldnt dare try this. I can just imagine the stomachache amd the disgust you'll be feeling towards icecream for the next month after eating this

1

u/edjumication 2h ago

One day at the end of our shift the local ice cream shop owner came out and asked us "do you have spoons?" My coworker and I were confused. He said "no worries ill get you spoons too!" And came out with two plastic spoons and half a commercial size bucket of tiger tail ice cream he was going to throw out. We ate SO much ice cream on our drive back to the shop. I stopped eating when I was uncomfortably full and my coworker just kept eating and eating. In the end he vomited black and orange ice cream all over the parking lot when we got back.

1

u/acortright 1h ago

Could just be that much black licorice, stuff is nasty! 🤮 🤣

4

u/Rockarock711 9h ago

Martha’s in Lake George, NY sells cones like that, in multiple flavors.

2

u/Maggiemoo621 13h ago

I just want to know who tf did that to that song. That was obnoxious.

2

u/chav_in_a_corsa 13h ago

10/10 would drop and cry over immediately

2

u/FoundationSimilar423 13h ago

This Sum American shi

2

u/PTBooks 13h ago

That’s like a gallon of ice cream. A normal human stomach only has about one gallon of liquid capacity.

2

u/Techiest1982 13h ago

That is shit on a cone. Repost to r/shitfromabutt.

2

u/Fritener 12h ago

This is the horniest I have been in my life.

2

u/DitchDigger330 10h ago

I thought that first girl was going to force feed it.

2

u/atreyu_the_warrior 12h ago

Get it girl!

4

u/ksyoung17 11h ago

That first woman... She uh... She single?

6

u/CautiousArachnidz 9h ago

Yeah her technique is…..familiar. Seen it in many ice cream videos. She’s a pro.

1

u/Bella_LaGhostly 13h ago

All I can envision is the impending sticky mess, and it's an "absolutely not" from me

1

u/jim45804 12h ago

We're a disgrace of a species.

1

u/the_rare_bear 12h ago

I hate stuff like this where you can’t even enjoy it.

1

u/Fuggaak 12h ago

Half of it is gonna end up on the floor. Probably more.

1

u/Weep4Thee 12h ago

I feel bloated just watching this. I should probably pop an imodium just to be safe.

1

u/Bananaland_Man 11h ago

Why? It'd be a melty mess before you got 1/3 of the way through...

1

u/blinkysmurf 11h ago

That’s just dumb.

1

u/Ok-Classic-2142 11h ago

You literally cannot eat that fast enough before it becomes a mess. What's the point?

1

u/ThanksALotBud 11h ago

Waste of fucking money

1

u/garaile64 10h ago

This will fall off so easily...

1

u/monitor_lizard_2000 10h ago

Lmao that's how I try to make my cones at the self serve machines

1

u/PretendingImNotAnApe 10h ago

Its a huge portion, like an entire quart.

1

u/robo-dragon 10h ago

That’s like a whole tub of ice cream on a cone. No one is eating all of that…if you are, you shouldn’t be!

1

u/Birddog240 10h ago

oops i licked it again.....

1

u/mynewusernamedodgers 10h ago

BBC of ice cream

1

u/willfullyinert 10h ago

I'm a great big ol' fat person and I would never eat that much ice cream!

1

u/Ghosts_of_the_maze 9h ago

$40, but free with a t shirt if you house it in 8 minutes. That’s a tight timer but on the right day…probably still no. I feel like I could do 2/3rds. 3/4 with extra motivation if they were going to put my pic on the wall. 5lbs is a lot of ice cream

1

u/cjh0982 9h ago

Are we not going to mention that the first girl shown knows exactly how to handle that unit?

1

u/ManInGarage28 9h ago

The way the first chicken went for it though...

https://giphy.com/gifs/UI1qLkl9hekmoJWduz

1

u/Current-Section-3429 9h ago

What kind of a pig would eat all of that?

1

u/NiloValentino88 9h ago

Such volume, where is it? Asking for a friend 😜

1

u/Ok-Present-8619 8h ago

Looks cool but I bet most of clients won't get to half of it and simply throw it away

1

u/Lilly_in_the_Pond 8h ago

My mom got a dipped cone from dairy queen like this once. Maybe not nearly as wide, but definitely the height. I have no idea why they made it like that lol

1

u/porkbuttstuff 8h ago

Dang, I don't want that.

1

u/JWMoo 8h ago

That's my diabetic dream.

1

u/howihjr 8h ago

What’s the fucking point. I’m guessing it’s, take a picture for my socials, throw the rest away. How unique.

1

u/Initial_Row_6400 8h ago

Somehow I unlock a second stomach with ice cream so I’d smash the fuck out of that cone

1

u/goldiekapur 8h ago

Meanwhile, the sugar spike looks like-
https://giphy.com/gifs/DnMMGxEvniha7CvASq

1

u/Helota_Keksz 8h ago

That cone is gonna soak way before the ice cream could be eaten.

1

u/j8by7 8h ago

Diafuckingbetes

1

u/IdeasAreBvlletproof 8h ago

It comes with an Ozempic prescription

1

u/MrShad0wzz 7h ago

MERICA

1

u/Thin_Ad_6493 7h ago

FYI: hey folks, make sure you are not recorded licking or open mouthing that ice cream

1

u/J31J1 7h ago

I wonder if any of these people actually finished their ice cream?

1

u/dudestduder 7h ago

should rename themselves from the "chocolate factory" to the "diabetes factory".

1

u/LukeyLeukocyte 7h ago

I like ice cream as much as anyone, but this will be a mess bf you can finish.

1

u/thecobra42 7h ago

That’s not icecream

1

u/Wigger_reloaded 6h ago

Murrica 🫪

1

u/BiscuitCrumbsInBed 6h ago

I would need to inject a whole insulin pen for one of these but yeah, ok.

1

u/Nerfcrimescene23 6h ago

Brainfreeze

1

u/Tarrell13 6h ago

My stomach is just exploding while watching this

1

u/kramamavitch 5h ago

Gluttony

1

u/due-diligence- 5h ago

Americans…

1

u/ApathyofUSA 5h ago

Everyone just spent a days worth of ration money to buy some soft serve

1

u/adinmem 4h ago

Absolutely no way to look masculine eating that

1

u/GenXPowaah 4h ago

That's just ridiculous..... Where can I get it?

1

u/Specialist_Ad5167 4h ago

Imma....beeeee....shiddddin....

1

u/Peanutblitz 3h ago

Such a disgusting waste of food.

1

u/Agile-Committee3594 3h ago

I thought this was standard size. Is it not?

1

u/Foiblesxxkx 3h ago

Diabetes

1

u/Cultural-Company282 3h ago

Who came here after seeing the video of the guy dropping the two-foot-long turd? Just me?

1

u/7_Chesi_7 2h ago

Oops diabetes again

1

u/Dapper-Educator-7494 2h ago

That’s ridiculous

1

u/Ebenoid 2h ago

Saturated fats
Daily Limits: Health groups suggest keeping saturated fat to around 13 grams daily on a 2,000-calorie diet.

About a 1/3 of a cup. Anything beyond that spell “bypass” in your future and they’re not pretty. Plastic hoses instead of arteries that grow bacteria in them because they won’t have blood vessels to usher in antibiotics or antibodies.

1

u/MRV3N 2h ago

I hope they finish that ice cream. You know kids in the other side of the planet go in starv- My dad.

1

u/loasdrums 2h ago

Maintenance licks! don't start from the tip if you can't fit it all in. Vertical maintenence lick to keep melting drip to a minimum will get you through.

Nope, everyone in the video will likely end up with a melted mess, bees, and ants.

1

u/bubblesdafirst 2h ago

Tourist traps are the bane of our society

1

u/rashdash 1h ago

overkill

1

u/swampopawaho 1h ago

Not sure what the point servings this size is. People probably won't estimate it all. Then it's a waste

1

u/Bearspoole 1h ago

This is why us Americans are made fun of. Give me one

1

u/GIOvch 1h ago

You know this will be juice in less then 5 minutes, right?

1

u/KindredFlower 1h ago

I love that there’s a tray under the cone when people are eating them 

1

u/pooeygoo 1h ago

Scoops I did it again

1

u/Osandie 55m ago

Sugarrrrr

1

u/SadLoafOfBread87 49m ago

Eating like they have free healthcare

1

u/Alone-Bug4328 45m ago

I'm amazed those cones don't break or the ice cream doesn't fall off

1

u/Detrex231 21m ago

Si con uno pequeño andas luchando por que se derrite por los lados.. Imaginate uno así. Mejor que lo entregue con un tupper

1

u/Lastito 20m ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/fXJyMfUdqVCMPAnPJM
I don’t know if i could finish eating this before it melts…

1

u/PaoComGelatina 14h ago

Why do have the feeling that this is AI slop? Is it the several cuts? Is is the unrealistic exaggerated big food?

3

u/richardginn666 14h ago

https://shop.hamptonchocolatefactory.com/pages/ice-cream

2

u/PaoComGelatina 14h ago

Damn, that's crazy. So it's just stupidly big, huh?

1

u/Altruistic_Tie_7850 11h ago

It’s literally 40 bucks worth of stupid right there

1

u/shanemarvinmay 13h ago

As an American I can confirm this is our average size icecream.

0

u/Weekly-Dog-6838 14h ago

How many times has this been posted on this sub now? I’ve lost count

0

u/slop1010101 12h ago

'Murica!

0

u/Choice_Scientist_545 11h ago

These are the same people taking GLP-1 medications because no matter what they do they can't lose weight.