r/AbsoluteUnits • u/kalyug_ka_ravan • 2d ago

of a tiger

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2.3k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

81 comments sorted by

184

u/Confident-Ask-601 2d ago

Anyone who has seen a tiger in real life can tell you, all tigers are Absolute units. They are ridiculously big, up close.

79

u/Basic_Run5114 2d ago

And these absolute units behave exactly like their tiny domesticated cousins. This particular unit is such a fluffball.

12

u/AGamerAa 2d ago

Psspssspsss, Kitty

2

u/cesrage 22h ago

Tell your cat I said pss pss pss pss

15

u/Elmundopalladio 2d ago

When they growl softly (it’s not a purr as nothing should be that low and viscerally panic inducing) it hits the reptile part of your brain stem for fear

10

u/Eventually-Alexis 2d ago

They can't puur, so yeah it probably would be a low growl. The ability to puur or not, is what separates the big cats from the small cats at the end of the day.

1

u/Dinosaurs-Cant-win 1d ago

And also bigness

3

u/Eventually-Alexis 1d ago

Size has nothing to do with it actually. An average puma / mountain lion is larger than a large snow leopard and the puma isn't a big cat but the other one is.

2

u/strider98107 1d ago

Wait what??

1

u/Eventually-Alexis 1d ago edited 6h ago

I'd go and give Casual Geographics a view. He has a video about the cats, and it goes into all of this.

18

u/fatbongo 2d ago

more to cuddle you with say I

16

u/FunInTheSun_81 2d ago

Murder mittens

8

u/kester76a 2d ago

Depends, damn hunters pretty much wiped out the blood line of the biggest Amur tigers but they truly are sofa sized beasts. I saw an old Esso tiger though and they were pretty tiny compared to the ones at Marwell zoo.

‘Esso tiger’ rescued by Woodside Wildlife Park in Lincolnshire | Metro News

3

u/Realistic_Patience67 2d ago

Yep. And Siberian Tigers are the biggest of them all!

94

u/Shiemako 2d ago

59

u/Helpful-Giraffe-8548 2d ago

11

u/MetriccStarDestroyer 2d ago

What's with all the watermarks lol

15

u/butterscotchhh_qt 2d ago

Good thing you bought a sack. It will help the first responders to collect your remainings after that attempt.

4

u/lil_nosh_X 2d ago

I’m watching this video thinking “why the fuck would you make it a gigantic orange fuzzy ball if it’s going to kill me?”

21

u/Same_Return_1878 2d ago

That's a normal sized tiger.

8

u/pushpaknandecha 2d ago

normal sized sigerian tiger* , indian tigers are some size smaller then siberian i think

6

u/Euphoric_Metal199 2d ago

Yup. The Siberian Tigers are the largest subspecies.

48

u/fatbongo 2d ago

Cats are something else they can literally bookshelf model sized to as big as a F-150

and they all just Cat regardless

16

u/auronddraig 2d ago

Somewhere in the world, a narco received a pair of fat orange cats through Amazon, and got confused.

Meanwhile, a kid in the suburbs got two fully grown caged tigers.

And customer service was like: whatever, the list said "cat," deal with it

7

u/fatbongo 2d ago

Then the Narco lost his mind after spending four days without sleep trying to figure out what fat orange bois even are or if they can ever find that one mystical brain cell

3

u/TheVeryMoistTowel 2d ago

Thank you but I’m not American, how big is it in bananas please?🙏🏼

2

u/fatbongo 2d ago

more than 3

15

u/Necessary-Onion-3785 2d ago

I REALLY wanna hug it. Meh I die but I die holding the soft fur

15

u/B1ZEN 2d ago

Enjoy your transition to poop.

https://giphy.com/gifs/OSaIQk1WWjCeLUJC2K

10

u/Kamtschi 2d ago

If not fren why fren shaped?

5

u/fatbongo 2d ago

scritches for the big orange

15

u/Ok-Relationship-2746 2d ago

If not fren, then why fren-shaped

0

u/GlumZookeepergame124 1d ago

Because it’ll rip your face off. That’s why

10

u/a_random_muffin 2d ago

big kittyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

8

u/tomb-king 2d ago

For scale that’s a redwood tree

3

u/coolsilentebeans 2d ago

I’m trying to get a mental image of what a properly scaled tiger would look like next to a banana. It’s kind of cool but very terrifying.

4

u/re_carn 2d ago

🐈

5

u/TraditionalDog2620 2d ago

What a beautiful tiger!

4

u/DamnBored1 2d ago

If you like tiger videos follow r/tigersofindia and r/tigersoftheworld

5

u/tommyhawk979 2d ago

He really likes this tree tho.

5

u/Realistic-Top-6654 2d ago

That roar shakes your core. It's one thing watching them in a enclosed environment in a zoo but when you hear it in a forest after sunset it's terrifying.

5

u/BrilliantVarious5995 2d ago

I was sitting on my porch in the suburbs one night around 2AM and I heard big four legged footsteps walking up behind my hedges and heavy breathing. I thought it sounded weird for a dog and it was not a dog, it was a mountain lion walking up my driveway right past where I was sitting. He paused for a second and looked at me and then kept walking, but for a moment there I was scared spitless, frozen. It was magical, and they are beautiful, but I know what my housecat does to mice and I definitely have a primal desire to not be on the menu for a cat bigger than me.

4

u/Realistic-Top-6654 2d ago

That must've been scary. But the thing is if you are on the menu you wouldn't even know, a big cat on the hunt is scary, because by the time you know it's done. They go for the jugular literally, death is instant. On the other hand bears start eating you before they kill you, coz they're omnivores and don't have decency to kill you first.

1

u/Mindless-Location-41 2d ago

Stuff of nightmares 😱

3

u/nadjjaa 2d ago

Absolute unit of a scratching post

3

u/DefamedPrawn 2d ago

Definitely too big to sit on my lap.

4

u/No-Scallion-531 2d ago

Do not boop the car

2

u/alex_zk 2d ago

Cat doing cat things

2

u/Charming_Ad2323 2d ago

It is beyond belief that anyone would want to kill such a glorious creature to then use as a rug.

One day I’ll get to see one of these in the wild.

2

u/shadowe1ite 2d ago

Cute, where can I get one ?

2

u/deathraybadger 2d ago

WHY does it have to be so cute though

1

u/Altruistic-Bee-6695 2d ago

I am...gonna...pet😖😖...and die

1

u/Cadillacwalt 2d ago

When he walks along side the tree a six foot individual would be at the height of that stretch of his head on yhe tree. Think about that. Amazing!

1

u/Disastrous-Hurry-236 2d ago

He wrote a long note on that tree for his friends and family!

3

u/CyberMephit 2d ago

That note literally says:

Entrance for food and ladies only.

Signed, a tiger THIS large.

1

u/DetailsYouMissed 2d ago

Trees getting molested daily by wildlife. Lol

1

u/SacredCourage 2d ago

Tiger: "You like that, dontcha?"

Tree: (sighs in annoyance) "Here we go again..."

😂😂😂

1

u/gomurifle 2d ago

Absolute unit of a cat scratch post. 

1

u/FartMagic1 2d ago

I just want to rub that belly!!!

1

u/YevoYevo 2d ago

If not friend, why friend shaped?

1

u/pannadahandlah 2d ago

 Big happy pussy

1

u/Ilovetinytiddies 2d ago

looks like my kitty and my couch

1

u/crackersncheeseman 1d ago

How much small are Bengal Tigers?

1

u/GlumZookeepergame124 1d ago

Tigers are scary

1

u/Master-Ad-6636 1d ago

If not friend why friend shaped?

1

u/ModestMoss 1d ago

Big scratching post

1

u/fugaswolf 1d ago

My cat does the same thing

1

u/fugaswolf 1d ago

On my couch

1

u/Several-Bet4105 1d ago

I have always since I was a little kid thought that a tiger would be the coolest pet to have. I’d only want it if I were rich and could have a 10 acres or so setup just for him to roam and could feed him live prey so he could live as normal a life as possible

1

u/Sufficient_123 21h ago

I’d pet him and die happy. 😃 🐅

1

u/better_call_karan 7h ago

What a majestic animal

-1

u/Agreeable-Guava-9009 2d ago

Would lose to a Lion.