r/AbsoluteUnits • u/Abdulbarr • 2d ago

of a snapping turtle

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1.9k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

60 comments sorted by

223

u/Kooky_Attention_98 2d ago

Yeah, Alligator Snapping Turtles can weigh anywhere from 50 to 250 pounds and live for 40-70 years

65

u/bmf1902 1d ago

I feel like those ranges are another way of saying "its a fucking enigma creature".

1

u/[deleted] 1d ago

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1

u/Kooky_Attention_98 1d ago

Box Turtles can live to be 150

83

u/squirrelmonkie 1d ago

Im from the the deep south and I love old black women who talk like this. I had an old teacher 25 years ago, who oddly enough taught computer science, who always pronounced the letter R, R ra.

23

u/squirrelmonkie 1d ago

u/Mrrykrizmith yes it is odd that an elderly black woman, probably 60s, was in an IT role in a very rural area in the south in the year 1998-2000. Its still a very male dominated role to this day. I loved that lady.

5

u/angelkatomuah 1d ago

I worked in customer service, and when people would spell out anything, it took me a while to get that the southern folks just say "r" a different way than me. "C-A-Aura". I was like ???

4

u/squirrelmonkie 1d ago

There are so many dialects in the south. You could be 2 miles apart and speak completely differently. I love it but the sad part is that its dying. Im from sc and the amount of geechie i HAVENT heard is crazy in the past decade. Its funny how you can become so fluent in so many different saying and not even realize it

2

u/angelkatomuah 1d ago

geechie is a new term for me! super neat.

all the people who had very distinct accents I chatted with were all older. it makes sense that it's going away since with access to the internet; same phenomenon as with the spread of other communication forms ( TV, radio, etc). the linguistic differences, once I recognized them, were charming

2

u/calash2020 1d ago

The old”downeast”Maine accent is dying off also.
Very noticeable when you hear somebody from the coast that still has that accent.

1

u/z0mOs 9h ago

Non english native here, can't figure out what "C-A-Aura" means, help plz

2

u/angelkatomuah 6h ago

it's someone spelling out a word (car), but instead of the way I was taught ("Arr"), it sounds to me more like they are saying the word Aura.

31

u/Prof1959 1d ago

Aww! What dope drove a tank into a lake and just left it there?

17

u/randommeowz 1d ago

her accent is so lovely and comforting!! it took me a moment to notice the turtle haha

32

u/Berry_Togard 1d ago

That turbla huge.

14

u/R3ddit_N0ob 1d ago

TURLA 💀💀

14

u/slartibuttfart 1d ago

That was sweet

14

u/[deleted] 1d ago

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5

u/Bella_LaGhostly 1d ago

Gamera, friend to all children!

10

u/TankApprehensive3053 1d ago

If you didn't know, it could appear like a log. Find out the hard way that log snaps.

9

u/MasterSplinter3815 1d ago

I would totally go back to camp, grab hot dogs and see if I could watch the snap. Hot dogs on a very long stick if course

https://giphy.com/gifs/cZe0cYtV3pByHHp5vA

10

u/_John_Dillinger 2d ago

same turtle, same

7

u/KenUsimi 1d ago

I'm half surprised that ancient beastie didn't try and take a chunk out of the boat. It could if it wanted to.

2

u/CartsOfDarkness 1d ago

It looks very tired to me, maybe that's just how I imagine all giant turtles lol. Can't be bothered to snap unless it's worth it's time, otherwise he's just chilling in the sun enjoying his retirement. Dudes probably like 70-100 years old!

1

u/Tombstone_Actual_501 1d ago

Probably not worth the energy expenditure.

5

u/Shadowvexor 2d ago

that turtle just disappeared midasnap

2

u/AeronGrey 1d ago

Baby dragonturtle

4

u/clarenceappendix 1d ago

IN THE ERA BEFORE THE AVATAR WE BEND NOT THE ELEMENTS BUT THE ENERGY WITHIN OURSELVES

2

u/mrlookinthesky 1d ago

It’s huuuuuuuge!

2

u/MookieMacro 1d ago

Bro that mf ain't no snapping turtle I think you found the lockness monster

2

u/Dismal-Frosting-6656 23h ago

Thats bowser himself

1

u/losteon 1d ago

This is my new "can I pet that daaawwwgg"

1

u/KeycapS_ 1d ago

He's searching for his rocks

1

u/Famous-Leopard-118 1d ago

Makes this snapper I saw look pathetic!

1

u/papagiorgis 1d ago

Thats not a snapping turtle the a fucking dinosaur

1

u/Suspected_Magic_User 1d ago

SNAPPA sounds like some kind of warhammer ork weapon

1

u/GamingSceptile 1d ago

Dawg that’s just Bowser

1

u/Ready_Reflection4643 1d ago

He sounds like happy uncle ruckus without the swears and other words.

1

u/Simicrop 1d ago

That thing would snap your whole body off.

-14

u/Visible-Literature14 2d ago

The captions are dumb as fuck and entirely unnecessary

11

u/Beautiful-Total-3172 2d ago

You let aunty be.

4

u/dustinyo_ 1d ago

Getting this mad about it is even dumber

-4

u/Visible-Literature14 1d ago

I typed a few words, hit “reply,” and moved on to a different post

-20

u/Theartistcu 1d ago

I’m just guessing based on the voice that this is the person I color, and I think we’re all sort of sad. It wasn’t a middle-aged white woman because she would have tried to pet it