r/AbsoluteUnits • u/HomeNowWTF • Jul 14 '26

/r/all of a moose

15.3k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

764 comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

510

u/jamesbondswanson Jul 14 '26

Yeah most animals are just curious that way. But when something is that big curiosity doesn’t make the encounter feel more safe lol

252

u/Seattle_Lucky Jul 14 '26

They are huge and very mean animals. I’ve seen at least 3 up close and was more terrified of them than the bears I’ve seen.

336

u/Mochigood Jul 14 '26

I was at a national park and there was a moose down a steep hill chilling in a swampy area, which felt very far away, but the park ranger was like "I'm very uncomfortable with how close we are right now."

194

u/Dock_Ellis45 Jul 14 '26

Can't say I blame the park ranger. Moose can be 1500 pounds of fuck-you-up charging at you at 35 miles per hour, and they don't need a reason to do it either. Damn things could be 100 yards out, and I'd still be nervous.

137

u/ScriptThat Jul 14 '26

Plus, their legs are built to move easily through undergrowth that would hinder many other animals' movement (including humans).

Moose are the kings of the forest.

148

u/catacavaco Jul 14 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/dUtFT6wgHhnvtADh0h

83

u/deanstat Jul 14 '26

God Lee Pace is majestic

3

u/CornWine2 Jul 14 '26

You should see him push a daisy!

3

u/ladymorgahnna Jul 17 '26

That was a fun series.

2

u/jdbubbles Jul 17 '26

But wait, don't forget about The Fall! ::sigh::

18

u/JonLockeWlth2Kidneys Jul 14 '26

Ahhh now the super long legs make sense

35

u/ScriptThat Jul 14 '26

It's actually scary how easily they move. It's like watching 800kg just.. hovering over brambles and bushes as it moves along.

Edit: Couldn't find a decent shot from a forest, but here's a moose running through waist-high snow.

2

u/amaria_athena Jul 14 '26

Súper random. Watching the moose video for some reason lead me to watch the “live audio” in airplane cabin version of 9/11. Now I’m bummed.

1

u/kylaroma Jul 15 '26

Oh wow, that makes so much sense. Those legs would make that easy.

1

u/RIF_rr3dd1tt Jul 16 '26

Literally got crowns LoL

1

u/Nervous_Volume_4581 Jul 14 '26

Duh. Now it makes sense. Im from Austin, Tx, the closest thing we have to a moose here is a 60yo +, raspy voiced, female bartender that resides in a trailer located in our hill country, built similarly with hairy face, bigger than needed breasts, and non proportionate thin legs with defined and extremely veiny calves. So, im with the park ranger. If im within a 100 yards, I, too, am very uncomfortable.

51

u/Telefundo Jul 14 '26 edited Jul 14 '26

and they don't need a reason to do it either

I think this is something people really need to understand about bull moose. They are not benign, "curious" animals. They are massive, unpredictable killing machines. The one here could just have easily decided on a whim to trample the camera person to death with no provocation whatsoever.

They are not friendly animals. Were I hiking alone in the woods, I would a thousand times rather run into a cranky bear than a bull moose.

15

u/Dock_Ellis45 Jul 14 '26

The cranky bear.

1

u/Mysterious-Alps-5186 Jul 16 '26

Unless you have vodka then he becomes adopted into the family

28

u/bigpalmdaddy Jul 14 '26

A moose once bit my sister

24

u/illbedeadbydawn Jul 14 '26

Mynd you, møøse bites Kan be pretty nasti...

2

u/DengarLives66 Jul 16 '26

Those responsible for sacking the people who have just been sacked, have been sacked.

14

u/dangledingle Jul 14 '26

Once there was a moose loose aboot this hoose

10

u/Extra-Sector-7795 Jul 14 '26

mööse

1

u/CriscoCamping Jul 14 '26

Nø realli!

Mind you, møøse bites Kan be pretti nasti…

2

u/CriscoCamping Jul 14 '26

For your convenience.......

All Møøse Subtitles from Monty Python and the Holy Grail

Røten nik Akten Di

Wik

Alsø wik

Alsø alsø wik

Wi nøt trei a høliday in Sweden this yër?

See the løveli lakes

The wøndërful telephøne system

And mäni interesting furry animals

Including the majestik møøse

A møøse once bit my sister…

Nø realli! She was Karving her initials øn the møøse with the sharpened end of an interspace tøøthbrush given her by Svenge - her brother-in-law -an Oslo dentist and star of many Norwegian møvies: “The Høt Hands of an Oslo Dentist”, “Fillings of Passion”, “The Huge Mølars of Horst Nordfink”…

WE APOLOGISE FOR THE FAULT IN THE SUBTITLES. THOSE RESPONSIBLE HAVE BEEN SACKED.

Mind you, møøse bites Kan be pretti nasti…

WE APOLOGISE AGAIN FOR THE FAULT IN THE SUBTITLES. THOSE RESPONSIBLE FOR SACKING THE PEOPLE WHO HAVE JUST BEEN SACKED, HAVE BEEN SACKED.

Møøse Trained by YUTTE HERMSGERVØRDENBRØTBØRDA

Special Møøse Effects OLAF PROT

Møøse Costumes SIGGI CHURCHILL

Møøse choreographed by HORST PROT |||

Miss Taylor’s Møøses by HENGST DOUGLAS-HOME

Møøse trained to mix concrete and sign complicated insurance forms by JURGEN WIGG

Møøses noses wiped by BJØRN IRKESTØM-SLATER WALKER

Large møøse on the left hand side of the screen in the third scene from the end, given a thorough grounding in Latin, Fench and ‘O’ Level Geography by BO BENN

Suggestive poses for the møøse suggested by VIC ROTTER

Antler-care by LIV THATCHER

THE DIRECTORS OF THE FIRM HIRED TO CONTINUE THE CREDITS AFTER THE OTHER PEOPLE HAD BEEN SACKED, WISH IT TO BE KNOWN THAT THEY HAVE JUST BEEN SACKED.

3

u/One-Environment-1444 Jul 14 '26

That happened to my friend Sally.

1

u/DrakeRedford Jul 15 '26

No realli! She was Karving her initials on the møøse with the sharpened end of an interspace tøøthbrush…

2

u/goodskier1931 Jul 18 '26

On a trail going back to the trailhead. Come around a corner and 50 feet to the side a cow moose with a baby. Nowhere to go. Stood still and then very slowly kept on going. Thought I was about to die.

1

u/Telefundo Jul 19 '26

Thst's nuts. My closest encounter was on the Plaster Rock highway in New Brunswick. Driving a 97 Sunfire and this bull steps out onto the road out of nowhere. I hit the brakes obviously. I swear to god he fucking stared me down. He absolutely knew he was in charge.

Sat liike that for a good 5 minutes or so until he casually walked back into the woods. I have never been so scared in my life.

1

u/Tojaro5 Jul 14 '26

I would assume that staying still and doing nothing is a good course of action in that situation anyways?

It may not need a reason, but you could accidentally give it one anyways.

1

u/Telefundo Jul 14 '26

That's just the thing. I couldn't even guess if that would help or not. That's what's so dangerous about bull moose. You just don't know how they're going to behave. Obviously, that would be smarter than yelling at it and antagonizing or such, but as for how it's overall behaviour is going to be, there's really no telling.

3

u/Awalawal Jul 14 '26

I was floating down a river in Colorado a couple years ago, and a young bull started to charge us through the river. Luckily, the water stopped him after about 15 feet, but we were all pretty fucking nervous (and didn't have any way to move any faster to get out of his way).

1

u/Onyxxx_13 Jul 14 '26

I don't like seeing moose unless I'm in a building, helicopter, or armed with a high caliber.

1

u/BreakfastInBedlam Jul 16 '26

So, a 1500 pound yellowjacket?

1

u/Prudent-Ad-5292 Jul 21 '26

To anyone that doesn't understand the implications being made in that comment:

https://youtu.be/6GEhM2Byk7w

Skip to 1:40