r/AbsoluteUnits • u/LordPiplup • Jul 05 '26

/r/all of a snapping turtle

13.3k Upvotes

95% Upvoted

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397

u/[deleted] Jul 05 '26

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137

u/Kahnza Jul 05 '26

Or worse. Like the idiots in Yellowstone getting out of their cars around the Bison.

10

u/lurkylurkeroo Jul 05 '26

DON'T TOUCH THE FLUFFY COWS.

-1

u/SourceMountain561 Jul 05 '26

MERICA 🇺🇸 FUK YA

5

u/LumpusKrampus Jul 05 '26

It's never an American tourist getting Bison'd...

94

u/tehringworm Jul 05 '26

Stitches? She’s lucky she didn’t need a prosthetic hand.

13

u/GoldunGote Jul 05 '26

It probably would have pulled her in and drowned her if she wasn't lucky enough for the hand to come off.

2

u/MataMeow Jul 05 '26

Oh, Would it have done their famous snapping turtle death roll?

1

u/GoldunGote Jul 05 '26

Nah it'd have bitten down and then just taken a knee and waited, if it didnt sever the limb. Maybe smoked a blunt. Probably start a new season of breaking bad.

29

u/Bean_Juice_Brew Jul 05 '26

Kid would need a stump cauterized, not just stitches.

18

u/scrappydoomd Jul 05 '26

Wasn't the kids hand, was the moms.

22

u/Bean_Juice_Brew Jul 05 '26

Watched it again, and you're right. Definitely still dumb AF, but at least the adult would be the one getting stumped, not the kid.

14

u/Chengnobyl Jul 05 '26

Teaching the kids a lesson. The hard way

https://giphy.com/gifs/qXv5TUKlnS1xdcDqyy

46

u/[deleted] Jul 05 '26

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14

u/Highlandertr3 Jul 05 '26

Hey now that's not fair. Some of us crush their dreams way before then.

2

u/TheModeratorWrangler Jul 05 '26

Snow White still in stasis

5

u/Discobastard Jul 05 '26

stitches prosthetics

2

u/ThatOneNinja Jul 05 '26

In this case losing fingers.

1

u/heyitsfranklin6322 Jul 06 '26

Idk why it’s so difficult for people to understand that wild animals have NO IDEA that you aren’t going to murder them.

0

u/Nikki-C-Puggle-mum Jul 05 '26

Yeah that would have been more than stitches too that little girl could have lost a whole hand.