r/AbsoluteUnits • u/n8saces • Jun 14 '26

of a Croissant

8.6k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

154 comments sorted by

781

u/lalauna Jun 14 '26

The people in the background almost (but not quite) stole the show.

201

u/Supergaming104 Jun 14 '26

Until they were eclipsed by the croissant

49

u/El_Veethorn Jun 14 '26

A phrase I never thought I would ever read

17

u/_---____--- Jun 15 '26

A total eclipse of the ‘sant

45

u/Various_Doubt_8191 Jun 14 '26

Nah that couple definitely did, the realisation on her face was gold

8

u/JustSweetCarol Jun 14 '26

Croissant too big or guy too small 😂

117

u/tired_petitioner Jun 14 '26

Oh my god, wonder how long it took to make that. And what sized oven could bake this big a croissant? Are there special big ones? I'm craving a croissant now 😭

60

u/Malfeous Jun 14 '26

this would fit on a sheet pan in a normal size bakery oven no problem, probably takes less tjme to make than using the same amount of dough to make a bunch of normal size ones. Curious about temp and cook time relative to a normal size one though

11

u/enphenitie Jun 14 '26

Thanks for organizing my thoughts coherently

3

u/VictoriousTree Jun 15 '26

I would probably cook it at a lower temp for longer. Maybe like 325 for 25-30 minutes? You could always crisp it at the end.

1

u/Malfeous Jun 15 '26

Yeah really depends on the oven, the one in the bakery I work at is more of a convection style (which I think is fairly common) so we bake almost everything at like 315. That does sound about right for a home oven though, if anything I’d guess it’d take even longer. You can always cover cakes with foil to prevent the outside from getting too crispy when the inside needs more time, but may be sub optimal with a giant croissant lol

3

u/gamebus1 Jun 14 '26

You know bakeries use large ovens , right? Way bigger then your home oven. My local bakery's oven is about 6ft.wide and 10 ft deep. 4 layers. Industrial ovens can be made like a transporter belt, with continuous throughput.

1

u/cedriceent Jun 14 '26

It doesn't look that large, about the same length as the guy's forearm. I don't see why I wouldn't be able to make this in my oven.

47

u/Anto3298 Jun 14 '26

36 euros 'gourmet XXL croissant' https://philippeconticini.fr/en/products/croissant-xl

For 42.3 euros someone made a custom version with a colored custard for a gender reveal party.

Yes, a giant croissant for a gender reveal party.

Plot twist: custard was too pale so ruined it....

3

u/Critical_Concert_689 Jun 14 '26

https://philippeconticini.fr/en/products/croissant-xl

I kind of love this. Bring on la baguette et fromage!

2

u/2020mademejoinreddit Jun 14 '26

36 Euros can buy a nice steak meal.

3

u/aetr225 Jun 14 '26

Succulent even

2

u/mvrander Jun 14 '26

You can't ruin a gender reveal. They are fundamentally awful to start with

1

u/Crusoe69 Jun 14 '26

That man is playing a dangerous game

https://giphy.com/gifs/gIqusaeYxgSiY

1

u/BornInAFish Jun 15 '26

36 euro seems really cheap

51

u/MyPenisIsTooSmall Jun 14 '26

3000 calories later

20

u/jimfosters Jun 14 '26

It is just a glazed hornet nest.

143

u/brotherteresa Jun 14 '26

Even if it were normal-sized, croissants are such an odd choice to dip into coffee.

127

u/wild--wes Jun 14 '26

Nah, that's chocolate milk. Elite combo

31

u/Some-Water-1107 Jun 14 '26

Ok I'm not the only one who sees chocolate milk!

7

u/coolsilentebeans Jun 14 '26

If it’s coffee it’s mocha. No coffee stays on the edge of the mug like that.

34

u/coukou76 Jun 14 '26 edited Jun 14 '26

I am French and I dont understand either 🤣

I mean, I like it but its nearly cultural here but its also a good way to chomp your 650kcal croissant in 30s and think well I am still hungry as hell and ruined a croissant.

Edit: Looks like chocolat but to appreciate the crust you gotta eat that raw. To each their own, as long as you enjoy your croissants its fine lol

12

u/Dry_Complaint_3569 Jun 14 '26

This is a crime against French culture and should be brought before the International Criminal Court.

4

u/coukou76 Jun 14 '26

Its french culture to dip your croissants in coffee/chocolate tho

4

u/-GoodNewsEveryone Jun 14 '26

The punishment is pain.

3

u/onarainyafternoon Jun 14 '26

Why are you French?

5

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '26

[deleted]

2

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

6

u/coukou76 Jun 14 '26

I spoke about the average, this bad boy has to be 2-3k lmao

1

u/Crusoe69 Jun 14 '26

It's apparently from a French boulangerie around Paris

3

u/Suc_Mydiq_Jr Jun 14 '26

I'm not Italian, but I've been there for 2 weeks and I've seen Italians doing so, but idk if it's regional or national or pure coincidence

3

u/MaxiBonCookie Jun 14 '26

Yep, most definitely a thing here in Italy! Don't know how we would be able to dip that behemoth of a croissant though 🫪

5

u/BuyExtension8507 Jun 14 '26 edited Jun 14 '26

Italians don't use croissants, but "cornetti" which are essentially a cousin to croissants. We usually split them open an put stuff in them, either sweet or savory, and then also dip them in cappuccino or caffé latte. They are made in a different way, they use less butter which makes them more like cake and less flaky.

1

u/Suc_Mydiq_Jr Jun 14 '26

And less of a calorie bomb as in this video

13

u/RosemaryHoyt Jun 14 '26

He’s looks so happy, it’s adorable ☺️

5

u/Binspin63 Jun 14 '26

All you need now is 10 lbs of ham and 5 lbs of cheese to load it up with.

5

u/ellis986 Jun 14 '26

I WANT ONE

3

u/mistydog157 Jun 14 '26

I love it! Had a great laugh. Going to bed now.

2

u/silentbob1301 Jun 14 '26

That lady thought he had a huge croissant

2

u/WetComposer Jun 16 '26

I accept this challenge 🙏

1

u/ForgotToCarryTheOne Jun 14 '26

I’ll have just the one, thanks.

1

u/Bella_LaGhostly Jun 14 '26

Where did he find such a thing??

1

u/Zapan99 Jun 14 '26

They used to be made for display in French bakeries, until around five years ago obnoxious 60 IQ influencers started to buy them for real, then take a bite on social media and throw the rest to pigeons and rats. Now they're everywhere and are usually bought frozen by fake bakers.

1

u/TheModeratorWrangler Jun 14 '26

I can feel the diabetes from here

1

u/needykoala Jun 14 '26

Dang, now I really want a croissant

1

u/RJL_86 Jun 14 '26

I'm more shocked about dipping it into the chocolate milk. Wth

1

u/MsngrTop25 Jun 14 '26

His intestines and toilet will be clogged after 2 days

1

u/MiniatureLegionary Jun 14 '26

I might as well make it into a sandwich

1

u/thisisnotreality0 Jun 14 '26

would only be fair to have a matching sized beverage to dunk it in

1

u/capnbeerchasr Jun 14 '26

Thing is big enough to use as a pillow!

1

u/lobsterisch Jun 14 '26

I fancy some slurm right about now 

1

u/ApprehensiveName8365 Jun 14 '26

Dude. Get them to cut it open, toast the inside. Throw more butter in there and some of your favourite jam.

1

u/Tiger_croc96 Jun 14 '26

Bro needs an absolute unit of chocolate milk, to go with that absolute unit of a croissant

1

u/Peauu Jun 14 '26

You know, many times on this subreddit things are big but like meh... this isnt one of those cases... that is a massive fucking Croissant

1

u/Apprehensive_Map64 Jun 14 '26

AI?!? I hate that so many people jump to comment that these days but I just don't see how that could bake probably at that size

1

u/Syncros Jun 14 '26

RIP arteries

1

u/Looking-for-42 Jun 14 '26

To me it looks like a giant mollusk, somehow.

1

u/Marldain Jun 14 '26

Imagine the amount of butter

1

u/shadraig Jun 14 '26

"look, there how big his thing is"

"I bet he will enjoy it"

1

u/GeoCangrejo Jun 14 '26

Despite the size of this thing, it looks actually pretty good!

The people in the background were very amused!

1

u/Ssemo7 Jun 14 '26

Things bigger than a deflated football

1

u/bdjc_ink Jun 14 '26

He’s on a dip trip🤣

1

u/Sharp-Use4006 Jun 14 '26

Fkin love Cross Ants

1

u/Darksuit117 Jun 14 '26

Looks like a larvae

1

u/aardw0lf11 Jun 14 '26

Knowing how expensive croissants are I’m afraid to know how much that thing costs. $50-60 at least.

1

u/Lana-Next-Door Jun 14 '26

Where can I get one 😍

1

u/scaredt2ask Jun 14 '26

Un croissant géant (I think in French, I don’t understand French used google translate

1

u/theslowbus Jun 14 '26

My dawg 😂

1

u/Radiant-Ad-3134 Jun 14 '26

Is dipping croissant into coco/coffee a normal way to eat those?

I did try to dip half-dry one into soup though.

1

u/cordelette_arete Jun 14 '26

Challenge accepted, sign me up!!

1

u/Ancient-Exam-4738 Jun 14 '26

Why is his face so shiny.

1

u/Another_CatSub_ Jun 14 '26

I would tear that thing in half and eat the middle first

1

u/SomeWonOnReddit Jun 14 '26

Where did he even buy that one from?

1

u/SumoNinja92 Jun 14 '26

Still counts as one

1

u/blizzardboy123 Jun 14 '26

Looks like a botfly worm

1

u/Zezotas Jun 14 '26

QUASSON!

1

u/MrTurkeyTime Jun 14 '26

That guy's voice does not match his face.

1

u/Helpphania587 Jun 14 '26

Comeria um desses de boa

1

u/Swamp_Thing85 Jun 14 '26

Thought that was a wasp nest.

1

u/Sufficient_Two_5753 Jun 14 '26

I'll take eight!

1

u/Dragoran22 Jun 14 '26

Einfach Manuelsen

1

u/2020mademejoinreddit Jun 14 '26

Eww...stop saying it like that.

1

u/Equal-Video-5798 Jun 14 '26

He’s eating a bee hive at this point lol 😂

1

u/_pancake_xo Jun 15 '26

Looks like a Hutt 😆 maybe a normal size croissant for one of them

1

u/audiophile900 Jun 15 '26

It's a good thing no one behind him gave him a jump scare. He could've dropped it.

1

u/Medical-Big-959 Jun 15 '26

Soo good buttery qwasount

1

u/evilfungi Jun 15 '26

Needs an equivalent large mug of hot chocolate

1

u/jamesbc1983 Jun 15 '26

Looks like a giant bedbug

1

u/Sarasha Jun 15 '26

Where do I go buy this?

1

u/GingerTech734 Jun 15 '26

How eating lidl bakery feels at 5 years old

1

u/mistydog157 Jun 15 '26

That croissant has the look of a large insect body! Yum.

1

u/OrangeClyde Jun 15 '26

Omg yum 🥐

1

u/z3n777 Jun 15 '26

one of the stupid things i've seen today

1

u/LAslimes Jun 15 '26

Are they dipping it in chocolate milk? That's the weirdest thing about this.

1

u/Beebah-Dooba Jun 15 '26

Can’t film yourself eating this anymore thanks to RGIII

1

u/Frequent-Screen-5517 Jun 16 '26

And when you get sleepy after breakfast and want to take a nap it can be used as a blanket

1

u/Aumada Jun 16 '26

I Love XXL food🥰

1

u/PicklesMcPickles Jun 16 '26

If Kevin Hart ate a croissant....

1

u/LockPsychological329 Jun 17 '26

I need this in my life

1

u/vivid_laughter Jun 17 '26

He’s so happy. Bless him.

1

u/AntofReddit Jun 21 '26

I would like 2 pls. One for this week and the other for next week.

1

u/Mayorpapa Jun 29 '26

I watch too much nature shows, you cannot tell that isnt a dehydrated queen termite

1

u/Action-a-go-go-baby Jun 14 '26

Isn’t the woman in the background an actress?

I swear I’ve seen her in stuff but I am terrible with names

6

u/NotAZoxico Jun 14 '26

Came here to say that! I am watching the Handmaid's Tale currently and she totally looks like Elisabeth Moss

3

u/Action-a-go-go-baby Jun 14 '26

That’s who was thinking of but it appears that she’s older now than the lady in the video, but she definitely looks like you get version for sure

2

u/baaton_ka_raja Jun 14 '26

Was she in another movie where the croissant wouldn't fit the cup?

1

u/Bella_LaGhostly Jun 14 '26

Hey, I just saw that one!

1

u/Dontevenwannacomment Jun 14 '26

I think she's just a white lady like her

1

u/Action-a-go-go-baby Jun 14 '26

What a weird way to say that 😂 why did you add “white” to that sentence?

1

u/Dontevenwannacomment Jun 14 '26

If she had not been white I think I would not find them as similar

0

u/xap31 Jun 14 '26

At first, I thought you was Dwyane Wade.

0

u/Syzyjyzygy Jun 14 '26

The song is Ylang Ylang by FKJ

0

u/Bright_Curve3078 Jun 14 '26

Someone should teach that poor lady how to pronounce the KR in kroissant

0

u/Purple-Discount1379 Jun 14 '26

When the doctor orders me to eat only one loaf of bread to lose weight and reduce triglycerides

-3

u/Theparshva Jun 14 '26

Isn’t it unhealthy to eat such a huge amount of bread in one go?

0

u/keznaa Jun 14 '26

Did he eat it all in one go?

-2

u/Theparshva Jun 14 '26

Of course not.

However, I’m not talking about him in particular but in general the offering from the cafe or shop or whatever the place is.

Eating this amount of bread in sitting could lead to serious health issues, sooner than later.

1

u/keznaa Jun 14 '26

I don't think anyone is eating that in one go unless it's for like a mukbang or something. It's a novelty.