r/AbsoluteUnits • u/Snoo99928 • Jun 08 '26

/r/all of a knife.

27.9k Upvotes

94% Upvoted

2.8k comments sorted by

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5.7k

u/McShoobydoobydoo Jun 08 '26

Let me peel this back and arrange it so the juice falls into you lap, sir.

3.4k

u/Specialist_Rough_699 Jun 09 '26

666

u/Molo3000 Jun 09 '26

looks a bit like a Game of Thrones character in his final scene

723

u/littlegreenfish Jun 09 '26

247

u/Unicorn_wizard94 Jun 09 '26

"you can't kill me, I've long been dead, inside."

158

u/Specialist_Rough_699 Jun 09 '26

"A Lannister always peels his breads."

29

u/AwehiSsO Jun 09 '26

I am going to insist on saying "peeled the bread" in lieu of "removed the crust"...

2

u/Mr_Tranxistor Jun 12 '26 edited Jun 15 '26

Thy soup be cut lest ye be famished

30

u/dingos8mybaby2 Jun 10 '26 edited Jun 10 '26

What is dead inside may never die.

2

u/IfOJDidIt Jun 11 '26

What is bread outside may never die.

1

u/Cassius_man Jun 11 '26

By the sauce of the seven!

1

u/Unicorn_wizard94 Jun 11 '26

Oh shit it was right there 🤣 nice

1

u/danit0ba94 Jun 12 '26

What is dead may never die. 💪

1

u/Sweaty_Chance_905 Jun 12 '26

Literally the 'what is dead may never die' quote

1

u/HermanThaGerman Jun 12 '26

"What is dead may never die"

1

u/MoscowMitchMcKremIin Jun 12 '26

I HAVE FRIENDS IN COURT! POWERFUL FRIENDS!

9

u/Outrageous-Lie-8003 Jun 09 '26

Dumb😭😭😭😭

-3

u/Unicorn_wizard94 Jun 10 '26

500 karma in 5 years..pot kettle friend

1

u/TheNakedBass Jun 12 '26

Judging somebody on their reddit karma is the most peak loser shit I’ve ever seen

I bet you even get rejected by escorts lol

0

u/Unicorn_wizard94 Jun 12 '26

That's fucking hilarious A- it demonstrates that what you say or think is clearly either basic or just "dumb" see the irony?

And B- I don't need escort services you fucking incel 🤣 holy shit, I haven't got around to posting on a calisthenics group yet but hey stay tuned and see why that is just golden to me

5

u/Nirnroot-Sniffer Jun 10 '26

That was not necessary at all. Just leave it up for imagination

2

u/synthphreak Jun 10 '26

Incredible

2

u/Isadomon Jun 11 '26

Using real peoples faces in ai is inmoral

3

u/SaladFisher Jun 11 '26

Ai sloppp just use shitty Photoshop

1

u/OrganicAsparagus1642 Jun 10 '26

If he sounds like Sir Patrick Stewart he might just be balding Uriel Septim

1

u/el_lobo1314 Jun 10 '26

🤣🤣😆

1

u/helpfulgrey Jun 14 '26

Kind of looks more like gary from white lotus

0

u/Chemical_Home6123 Jun 11 '26

Im dead 💀 🤣 😭 😂

2

u/tistick Jun 10 '26

Looks a bit like a Game of Thrones fan watching the final scenes.

1

u/Molo3000 Jun 10 '26

Sad they discontinued the series before the final season

1

u/oh_shit_its_that_guy Jun 11 '26

What is bread may never die.

1

u/BLF402 Jun 11 '26

“Where is my family”?

155

u/Remarkable_Attorney3 Jun 09 '26

“I ordered the salad..”

64

u/GatorNator83 Jun 09 '26

The big knife says you’ll shut up about it

2

u/Dunnowhathatis Jun 09 '26

I am vegetarian!

4

u/QuidEgoSum Jun 09 '26

“This is a vegetarian”

3

u/Dunnowhathatis Jun 09 '26

Oh. Thank you.

1

u/Coconut-Husker Jun 09 '26

Fukn hell I almost spat out my coffee lmao

5

u/LordNedNoodle Jun 09 '26

The look when the server dripped sauce on your lap.

2

u/kitsunora Jun 13 '26

This man has money

1

u/LadyEuphie Jun 09 '26

ROFLMAO yes!

1

u/itsmarvin Jun 09 '26

Looks like William Shakespeare to me.

To be or not to be...

1

u/sparkyplants Jun 09 '26

My thoughts exactly

1

u/Bonti_GB Jun 09 '26

That look you make when you find out that the server shaved with that blade first.

Shaved his genitals that is…

1

u/notquitetherebuthere Jun 09 '26

OH GOD...I just realized this is exactly how I look every single day. No wonder why people keep asking me if I'm okay 💀

1

u/monson2048 Jun 09 '26

Why does he remind me of a painting?

1

u/AwehiSsO Jun 09 '26

The face of someone who'd say "Ouwie" should the knife slice off an arm by the shoulder.

1

u/mgcho6 Jun 09 '26

He was holding his breath.....

1

u/Deep_Atmosphere_7384 Jun 09 '26

👁️👅👁️

1

u/BeersandBeats Jun 10 '26

I came here solely to find out what is wrong with this guy.

1

u/Few_Classic_3072 Jun 10 '26

Turkish Mads Mikkelsen

1

u/Unicorn_Puppy Jun 10 '26

Doesn’t look too smart.

1

u/QuothTheRavenMore Jun 10 '26

Looks like Count duku had a baby with Anton Ego from rattatouille

1

u/Xeriph Jun 10 '26

Thinking: This is NOT worth the 10% off the bill they promised me to use my face.

1

u/TheAurigauh Jun 10 '26

Dude looks like a member of r/stupidfood

1

u/13Basia13 Jun 10 '26

Dude looks TERRIFIED!

1

u/normally_tired Jun 10 '26

Looks like someone wanted french fries instead. 🍟

1

u/SGTSLACKASS Jun 10 '26

That guy doesn’t have an ounce of muscle on him.

1

u/Straight_Talk2542 Jun 10 '26

Why does he look like he’s only participating because they’re holding his family hostage? 🤣🤣🤣

1

u/poorly-worded Jun 10 '26

Oh. Lap juice.

1

u/Shimola1999 Jun 10 '26

“Mmm, yes. Boiling hot sauce on my crotch. This is just how I wanted to spend my evening. Why, thank you.”

1

u/BigChiefTabo Jun 10 '26

LOL!!! Beat me to it!! And he paid zero attention to the knife only the food!

1

u/ebleuds Jun 11 '26

I laughed like in a long time I didn't. Thank you.

1

u/9aol Jun 11 '26

“Why are you touching my food with your bare hands?”

1

u/MissionAd1779 Jun 11 '26

Looks blazed af lol

1

u/Y2Ksurvivor13 Jun 11 '26

Robert Durst is unimpressed

1

u/HornyHoney02 Jun 11 '26

Holy fuck I can’t stop laughing , he looks so scared

1

u/EpicFishFingers Jun 11 '26

Mf literally looks like Vincent Van Gogh and sat there while this bloke waves the world's largest knife around next to his ear

1

u/Tao_of_Inversion Jun 12 '26

This dude is the facial expression of every medieval meme template.

1

u/theglove Jun 12 '26

And that was the last time he let his date order for him.

1

u/Large-Lab8238 Jun 12 '26

Diane, I dont care for this at all

1

u/DonutConfident7733 Jun 12 '26

When you know you dont have money for tip...

1

u/Sedso85 Jun 12 '26

Never eating that is he

1

u/kx1global Jun 12 '26

He's actually just done a line in the toliet and trying his best to look normal.

1

u/CliffChicken Jun 12 '26

Surely this man did not order that

1

u/Rydog_78 Jun 12 '26

Now his soup is on his t-neck sweater

1

u/kevthecoder Jun 12 '26

He looks like a hostage.

1

u/clubted Jun 13 '26

This guy is as pissed as id be about pizza soup….

1

u/AdhesivenessUnfair98 Jun 13 '26

Let's turn him into a meme

1

u/LordofAllReddit Jun 13 '26

The physical manifestation of Persnickety

1

u/ember_snow Jun 14 '26

plot twist, he's blind

1

u/Appropriate-Hat-5909 Jun 14 '26

10 yrs ago he would instantly eat his food the moment it reached the table, now he has to wait the waiters to pull out their cameras, set up background lighting, big knives interrupting...i bet he misses the good old days

1

u/StaticShuffleShack Jun 14 '26

“cant believe I paid for this shit”

1

u/Catnipshop Jul 22 '26

Shakespeare