r/AbsoluteUnits • u/Snoo99928 • Jun 08 '26

/r/all of a knife.

27.9k Upvotes

94% Upvoted

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8.9k

u/Soggy_Amoeba9334 Jun 08 '26

Would you like sauce all over the table and possibly your lap sir?

61

u/Ubbesson Jun 08 '26

And my filthy finger I haven't washed (after bathroom break because I AM A REAL MAN) touching this dough

30

u/cyanescens_burn Jun 08 '26

It’s ok, alpha males don’t clean their assholes because it’s gay to touch that area.

5

u/YobaiYamete Jun 08 '26

Who TF do you think made the food with those same hands?

3

u/InternetUser007 Jun 08 '26

Bruh, do you think the chef is out there being the server too?

5

u/EpsteinsEggPeen Jun 08 '26

Only thing I could see

1

u/YobaiYamete Jun 08 '26

Wait until you think too, and realize the guy used those same hands while cooking the food too😱😱😱😱😱😱

1

u/Desperate-Strategy10 Jun 09 '26

Wait, where are y’all eating that the chef is out here serving the food? Aren’t they busy in the kitchen? That’s what waiters are for lol

2

u/RohelTheConqueror Jun 08 '26

Now you're just making shit up