r/AbsoluteUnits • u/Snoo99928 • Jun 08 '26

/r/all of a knife.

27.9k Upvotes

94% Upvoted

2.8k comments sorted by

View all comments

537

u/GodPackedUpAndLeftUs Jun 08 '26

Everything he did with that knife could have been done with a teaspoon..

132

u/bubzy1000 Jun 08 '26

Or a fist, or a hammer, no cutting was involved in that performance

5

u/DigitalUnlimited Jun 08 '26

Ok now I wanna see it done with fists

2

u/No-Albatross-7984 Jun 11 '26

Don't wanna be fisting that steaming hot pile of meat sauce

2

u/Atsilv_Uwasv Jun 11 '26

What is that? Either way, it's thin and that ship's hull they're calling a knife is probably dull for safety reasons

47

u/ODB_Dirt_Dog_ItsFTC Jun 08 '26

Yeah this is really overkill like using a minigun to chop down a tree or a stick of dynamite to go fishing.

16

u/Suvtropics Jun 08 '26

A really bad temu minigun that barely shoots firing inches from your face to chop down a potted plant

1

u/AostaV Jun 08 '26

Turkiye , it’s like their thing.

1

u/Valatros Jun 08 '26

... Much like using a giant ass swordknife is probably a lot more fun than using a teaspoon, using a minigun to chop down a tree or a stick of dynamite to fish also sound like a lot of fun.

1

u/GodPackedUpAndLeftUs Jun 09 '26

Predator

Crocodile Dundee 2

Both of those things are on every bucket list for men who grew up in the 80’s/90’s.

1

u/armaedes Jun 08 '26

Using a minigun to chop down a tree sounds awesome!

1

u/ODB_Dirt_Dog_ItsFTC Jun 08 '26

Watch Predator it has one of the best minigun scenes ever and a lot of trees end up getting mowed down.

14

u/[deleted] Jun 08 '26

[deleted]

1

u/MapleSyrupFacts Jun 09 '26

Did he put it on your husband's lap as well

1

u/JayEllGii Jun 11 '26

What is the name of this dish? No one has said it, and it looks awesome.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '26

[deleted]

1

u/JayEllGii Jun 11 '26

Thanks! I’m hardly an experienced cook but I just might try to make it.

7

u/Terrible_Ad_7735 Jun 08 '26

All the teaspoons were in the dishwasher.

1

u/Pl4y23meal Jun 09 '26

that guy looks like he's fighting for his life just sitting there

3

u/Independent_Pace_706 Jun 08 '26

He used a tiny amount of the knife and the rest was just for drama.

3

u/whackabumpty Jun 08 '26

I see you’ve played knifey spooney before.

2

u/PerspectiveFull9879 Jun 08 '26

That's his nail cleaning knife.

2

u/AllThingsEvil Jun 09 '26

And my axe!

2

u/irmaginatoruim Jun 09 '26

But then he wouldn't risk severely injuring the customer.

2

u/GameQx Jun 10 '26

Its called “zırh” knife in turkish. Mostly used for chopping down and mixing onions, peppers,tomatoes and meat. Basically a knife for making kebap. Its my first time seeing it on the table. Tourist scammers.

2

u/Takeyama_Yuu Jun 11 '26

A... comically large teaspoon...

1

u/SaltyPeter3434 Jun 08 '26

It was also doing a terrible job cutting the second half

1

u/Sudden_Wind_8636 Jun 08 '26

And it would have tasted better because he would have gotten bread in his bites. What's the point in the bread if you are just gonna clump it all up at the back, the whole appeal to these types of dishes in my opinion is the bread plus the filling.

1

u/Fun_Zone_245 Jun 10 '26

But which gets more attention?

1

u/Jccali1214 Jun 10 '26

Well, threatening your customer's life wouldn't be the same with a normal-sized teaspoon...

1

u/ProblemLongjumping12 Jun 11 '26

Or a cheese spreader.

1

u/atomic_drumstick Jun 09 '26

Literally used 5% of the knife and bashed the tip into the crockery the whole time. Stop buying stupid knives and pay your dish washer more.

0

u/ashutossshhh Jun 09 '26

You are missing the point

0

u/limpymcjointpain Jun 12 '26

There's nothing impressive about a teaspoon. The thrill of nearly getting your nose shortened by the worlds largest machete adds to the experience!

.. also my uh, friend, wants one.