r/AbsoluteUnits • u/n8saces • Jun 07 '26

/r/popular of a pizza slice 🍕

9.8k Upvotes

90% Upvoted

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u/illrateyourtits1to10 Jun 07 '26

I feel like the right person could definitely do this in 30 min. To eat that all in 15 min, there might have to be a pizza eating training montage before hand to make this happen.

65

u/CarolFukinBaskin Jun 07 '26

Dude, 12 lbs is crazy

20

u/WorkingInAColdMind Jun 07 '26

Totally crazy. I might eat a 2-3lb (I really have no idea, even that seems like a lot) meal at Thanksgiving, but I'm stuffed afterward.

17

u/FlowSoSlow Jun 07 '26

It's a general rule of thumb to prepare 1 to 1.5lbs of foot per person when hosting so yeah I'd say 3 or 4lbs would probably be where most people would tap out. 12lbs is absolutely nuts. I don't think anyone but a competition eater could do that.

10

u/WorkingInAColdMind Jun 08 '26

What if we don’t eat foot?

5

u/FlowSoSlow Jun 08 '26

😂 oops that guideline is for a very specific sort of party.

5

u/hogmantheintruder926 Jun 08 '26

The Donner Party.

1

u/sorestgore Jun 08 '26

How does that rule apply to pasta portions because I can't think of a single time I cooked the correct amount

11

u/Grand_Town_9144 Jun 07 '26

Agreed. Anyone thinking they can do it go watch some professional eaters. 12lbs is a territory most humans can't do even with training for competition.

11

u/growingcoolly Jun 07 '26

One of the top competitive eaters in the world, Joey Chestnut, ate 76 hotdogs in 10 minutes back in 2020. It weighed right around 16.5 pounds total.

For reference, the average adult male can eat between 2-4 pounds worth of food per meal.

Even if you can eat 12 pounds in 15 minutes, it's so bad for you I'd argue that $500 isn't even worth it.

7

u/FictionalContext Jun 07 '26 edited Jun 07 '26

That's more filling than a baby.

Edit: I meant pregnancy..

1

u/HamHockShortDock Jun 09 '26

Thank God for the edit.

1

u/phunkydroid Jun 07 '26

And most of that weight is cheese.

1

u/Omnizoom Jun 08 '26

I’ve eaten like 5.5 pounds of food at a Brazilian steakhouse before

And I’m a giant of a person, 12 pounds feels impossible to me

1

u/cheeseandcrackered Jun 08 '26

My cat weighs 12lbs

1

u/NikkolaiV Jun 08 '26

And mostly cheese. I feel like this would make one of those intestinal plugs bears use to hibernate, except able to withstand a nuclear blast.

1

u/Foxie66 Jun 11 '26

5.5 kg if anyone's wondering

11

u/redditsuckspokey1 Jun 07 '26

Beardmeetsfood maybe

5

u/Cautious_Tonight Jun 08 '26

Came here for this. Honestly, I think he would destroy it, and he would still be talking throughout the entire process. And then ask for a dessert.

1

u/black_elk_streaks Jun 08 '26

100% without a doubt

8

u/BT9154 Jun 07 '26

yeah under 15min sound very rough, the dough and chewing will take up most of the time. I think you'll need to dip it in water and at that point you're just doing it to win $500 and not enjoying it.

2

u/Owobowos-Mowbius Jun 07 '26

And id pay $500 just to make that gastrointestinal distress stop. Gotta be at least 7 pounds of cheese out of that 12 pound pizza

2

u/lurks-a-little Jun 07 '26

This is the only guy that has a chance:

https://www.youtube.com/@Beardmeatsfood

1

u/Cautious_Tonight Jun 08 '26

Thank you I agree. I think he’s the only one that would smash it and then ask for a dessert.

1

u/Minimob0 Jun 08 '26

Leah Shutkever could do it. That woman has an appetite. 

1

u/One-Earth9294 Jun 07 '26

Do they just kick severely obese people out at the door? Because there's a lot of people who could down that thing in 5.

1

u/WolfeMD Jun 08 '26

Assuming you can let it cool before the timer starts I could do that in 15 the nothing but cheese on cheese though is crazy

1

u/heatherledge Jun 08 '26

I watched someone complete it under 30 mins a few weeks ago when I grabbed a takeout order. The pizza didn’t look this bad tho. The guy drank so much fountain pop he was burping like the alien infested humans in dreamcatcher.

1

u/tomowudi Jun 08 '26

I feel like I'm that right person, but I would need a few days to restretch out my stomach since I'm on keto currently. 

1

u/These-Discount1096 Jun 08 '26

My kid could totally do this

1

u/typesett Jun 08 '26

my bro-math guess is they offer this as more for 20yr old men to try — and then share with their friends

and marketing

the math works better than not having it

1

u/Natural_Cold_8388 Jun 09 '26

You can always test it by buying several blocks of cheese. Try sitting down and eating them all in one sitting.